I've got PPD

[newmomroxi]

didn't know how else to title this. Anyway, I realized that I have PPD about a month ago and called my OB. It was a REALLY stressful time for me, no car, family just got to town, and I was just on the verge. Of what, I'm not sure, but I felt like I was going to fall apart. Anyway, I talked to the NP over the phone and she got my OB to call in a script for me. DH picked it up for me and I took it the next day. I had a bit of a meltdown a few hours after taking it, then I got a massive migraine later that night. DH told me that I seemed to be WORSE once I got the diagnosis, like I gave up. The huge migraine didn't help either and he asked me not to take the script anymore.

I didn't like the migraine either, so I've been attempting to manage things more naturally. I started taking vit D, tried to exercise more, walked more, stress about a clean house less. I thought it was working b/c I didn't feel like I was going to fall apart anymore. But this past week, I've just been feeling horrid again. I did the survey in the sticky and scored 87. I'm sleeping fine and I'm not contemplating suicide but that's about it. So I am going to pick up my script. Maybe I need to talk to someone too. I don't know. Not sure why I'm posting this, but I just need to get it out. I wish DH was more supportive, I don't think he gets that I can't really help how I'm feeling/acting. Anyway, good luck to all the ladies out there who are also suffering.

[LynnS6]

PPD can be lonely and scary.

Have you looked at the resources in the sticky that says Postpartum Support International? There are people listed there that you can call -- they can definitely help with resources (things like where the support groups are, if there's a counselor you can see).

Meds definitely help, but the best combination is meds and someone to talk to! Even if it's just posting here, I think you'll find that it'll help. (FWIW, I'm not a support group kind of person, so I did better with an individual counselor and online communication.)

This is a great link from the PSI people for fathers. Can you direct your dh to that? Many many people do not understand that depression is not something that you can 'get over'. It takes work and healing of your brain. It takes time.
http://www.postpartum.net/Friends-an...r-Fathers.aspx

Keep us posted on how you are. The meds do have some side effects (often headache in the early days, and gastrointestinal upset), but they go away after about a week or so. If you'd like to know more about what you expect, I'm sure people who've been on your particular medicine will be happy to share their experiences.

[MommyHawk]

what was your script for? I took Zoloft after baby #1 and that worked wonders. After baby #2 I got the estrogen patch right after her birth to help with the hormonal fluctuations. And that worked too.

It's normal. PPD is normal. People just don't talk about it or admit to having it, but it's more prevalent than we think. So don't stress about having it, just get some help and you'll be fine.

[newmomroxi]

Lynn, thank you for the info and the links for DH. I will ask him to read them for me. I will also get into therapy or a group. I hate making calls and doing that kind of thing, but I will. I hope that it helps.

MommyHawk, I'm on generic zoloft. I have a mild headache and I'm kinda shaky today. I don't eat much anymore so that is probably contributing to the side effects. I did notice that I wasn't snapping about everything, although that's probably a placebo. I'll stick with it though. Thank you for saying that PPD is normal. I feel so alone most of the time, it helps to know that other people understand.

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

you're not alone mama. i just started mine today while i was pumping at my 2am session.

[octobermoon]

saw this and wanted to offer hope you're feeling better soon.

[newmomroxi]

Just wanted to post a quick update. I've been taking the meds and I feel sooooooo much better! I still have bad moments where I'm cranky and short-tempered but a quick snack or break and I feel good again. I'm playful, cheerful, silly, calm; all the things that I loved about myself that somehow went away. I just feel like me and it is amazing! My energy is coming back and I'm starting to feel centered again. I am also starting to be honest about my feelings and I'm seeing that people have been concerned all along but I just didn't notice it. It is incredible how much of a fog I was in.

Anyway, I'm so thankful for all the encouragement and advice I got here. I could not have gotten to this point without it.

[LynnS6]

I'm so glad to hear that! Isn't it nice to have the 'old' you back (even the cranky when hungry bits)?

[MommyHawk]

awesome! glad you're feeling like your self again

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

i'm gla dthey're helping you too