Are you excited??!!??

[greenmulberry]

I just have to get something off my chest.

I get the question a lot "Are you excited??????!!!" with squeals of enthusiasm from a lot of people when they find out I am pregnant.

For some reason, it really irritates me.

First of all, I have never been a squealing, bouncing up and down in gleeful anticipation type. I don't know why being pregnant is supposed to change that.

Second of all, no, I am not excited right now, honestly. I have never had a baby so I have no idea what to expect. I am curious about the future. I am worried I am doing something wrong with my pregnancy and it will hurt my baby. I am scared of giving birth. I am not happy that I cannot sleep through the night because I have to get up to pee. I am also REALLY not happy I peed my pants in a meeting the other day when I sneezed with a painfully full bladder. My prenatal vitamins make me super constipated.

But I guess I have to say I am excited. Don't get me wrong, I want to be pregnant, but there are just to many unknowns, and scary things about this for me to be squealing with excitement. Plus, I am tired and perpetually distracted by how much I want to eat lemons.

I am only 15 weeks along and not feeling any movement (well, a couple of times I wasn't sure but maybe) so it isn't even like I have baby signs to bond with physically. Right now, I feel like the only reason I know I am pregnant is the test, and all these annoying symptoms.

Sigh, maybe I have extra crankyness too.

[nova22]

Any question asked over and over again can get annoying, even if it's asked with the best of intentions.

I get annoyed after hearing "how are you feeling?" dozens of times.

[babyjelly]

I feel you. I am thrilled to be having this baby...but when I'm exhausted and having wicked nightmares and walking up five stairs makes me dizzy with exertion and I'm starving but everything in my house makes my stomach turn and...it's hard to muster up the "proper" enthusiasm. Also, I'm a big fan of never asking questions I'm not prepared to hear any answer to, and really, really wish-especially in this hormonal state-that everyone else would adhere to that rule.
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[greenmulberry]

OK good. I am glad other people feel this way. I was thinking I was just being captain "bad attitude". Well I am not glad others are also exhausted! But you know what I mean.

LOL, when I first got pregnant I was really sick. I spent some time crying because I was just so miserable, and I was so scared it was going to last for nine months, I was just depressed because I felt so bad. I remember sitting at the table while DH tried to cheerfully tried to engage me in a discussion of how many kids we should have, and here I was feeling like I could drop dead at any minute, and having these "OMG, what have I gotten into" thoughts. I really wanted to punch him in the face, if I had any energy to do so. I said something the lines of, "I think this discussion is premature, because you know this pregnancy could kill me and and then it would be irrelevant how many kids we wanted to have."

[caseykn]

I hear ya, mama. I am really excited to meet this little baby and see who she is, but I'm really overwhelmed at all the things I need to get done before then, I don't have anyone set up to be with my 3 yr old when I have this baby, I'm a little anxious about how it'll be to have 2 kids, and my husband can't take as much time off with this baby than he could with our first and all our family is a state away. Also, in my 1st tri and early 2nd, I had some complications that were worrisome so I really didn't feel like I could let myself be too excited. I didn't want to share that with just anyone so it was tough to deal with other's excitement about my pregnancy. Now, I've started telling people the truth when they ask If I'm excited- "I'm thrilled about this baby but am a little overwhelmed by all I have to do/figure out before she gets here." That way I can meet their excitement but not feel like I'm faking something. It also leads people to offer to help with something if they can.

I will say that for me, as the weeks have gone on and I feel baby bumping around in there more and more, excitement is starting to edge out everything else.

[Galatea]

It's totally normal to not be excited at 15 weeks and/or with your first baby. I am pg with my 4th and wasn't excited for the first 20 weeks. Now I am (33 weeks.)

It's just another of the dumb things people say b/c they don't know what else to say. Maybe can you come up with a stock answer to use?

[~Adorkable~]

Are you excited and what are you having are two things I wished I would never hear again.

Are you excited is a stupid question, there is no good answer, if I say I am, it's like , duh, of course you are, what did you think I was going to say? If I say anything else at all I seem ungrateful or you start assuming I just got knocked up when I wasn't looking. What the hell does it matter to you. Unless you are a super close friend and it the part of a larger relationship you are forming with my pregnancy then buzz off.

What are you having? humans I hope! Has become my answer. I understand you ask it because you don't know what else to say, but seriously what does it #*%^ matter? Specially if you don't even know me, why do I want to hear what you think about what each type of child is certainly going to be like and whatever will come of that. And don't tell me what YOU hope I have, you have no say in it I don't even have a say!
I get that you have no idea what to say and most folks are scared of silence. Just say congrats and leave it at that unless you and I have a relationship or you truly want to start one.


[/RANT]

[laughymama]

When people ask me this the snark in my wants to reply with a straight face, "No. We really don't even like our first one..."

It feels ridiculous answering a question like that. I try to tell myself it's usually because THEY are excited and happy for us and for some reason they want to share that with you by confirming YOUR happiness. It's still irritating.

With this particular pregnancy I am especially annoyed by the reactions we get when people ask what we're having. The gender is a surprise. Some people are genuinely delighted to hear that we didn't find out. Others reply with, "But how can you NOT find out?! What will I do when I want to SHOP!?" Umm...I don't know...your shopping woes are not my concern...

Also, some days...No, I'm not excited. I KNOW what it's like to have a newborn and it's NOT my favorite stage. I don't want to be hormonal and weepy for months postpartum. I don't want sore nipples or leaking breasts. So yeah..sometimes I just want to look at them and be like, "Seriously? You really want to know how I feel?"

With this current pregnancy I've hated being touched. I loved my belly being touched with my first but I feel very uncomfortable with it this time around. It KILLS me when a family member walks up and starts rubbing my stomach with their hands and says, "So how are you two feeling? How's our baby?" I know they mean well and they just love us and are excited but seriously...I'm almost 9 months pregnant. I don't want anyone rubbing me ANYWHERE.

[Svarupa]

Ohh, yeah. What bothers me is that people ask me how I am... and the thing is you can't tell them HONESTLY most of the time because you're not supposed to talk about how painful and annoying pregnancy is. I have a couple of friends who have no experience with pregnancy or pregnant women who keep exclaiming things like "Oh my god! You should see a doctor right now! Is heartburn NORMAL?!?!?" Accccck...

I tell people that things are going great, because they ARE going great. I am 24 and I always expected I would get pregnant easily, but I didn't and I suffered a lot of depression as a result. I have wanted a baby more than anything else since I figured out I could have one when I was 3 years old. My baby is alive and well and I am so grateful -- it feels like a miracle that I am having this baby. So yes, things are going great! But then someone responds, "Oh, I'm so glad you're feeling well!" ... DID I SAY THAT?! LOL. I said *things are going great*, not *I am feeling well*. I'm feeling horrible!

[MissMorgan]

"So how are you two feeling? How's our baby?"

Questions like THIS make me feel like a homicidal maniac. Number one, the baby hasn't sent me any messages lately telling me how the heck she feels so I DONT KNOW!! SECOND!!!! ITS MY BABY AND DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ahh... 39 weeks and I can't stand anyone or their stupid questions any longer.)

Oh and "Are you starting to get uncomfortable?" Yeah I'm huge.
"Hows it feel to be so fat?" WTF I'm not fat. Its a baby. Thanks.
"So, anything HAPPENING yet?" NO!

Sorry but *I* am Captain Bad Attitude, Thank You!

(really, love the kid to death but get her out of me already!)

[MaerynPearl]

LOL

if you think you are sick of Are you excited??!!??

just wait til you start getting Have you had that baby yet????

[Aliy]

Ahh annoying questions.

I hate people when I'm pregnant. Just becasue i am pregnant does not give to the right to ask me personal questions or touch me. Some days i don't mind but some days i just want you to drop dead.

Yes i'm tired and cranky today

[finnegansmom]

Just wait until you're pregnant with your third or fourth or fifth...Are you excited suddenly becomes "how are you going to afford another baby?" "How will you pay for college? Aren't you stretched thin enough already? Was is planned?"

Rude.

[shoefairy3]

Oh I hate my belly being touched. Especially since I show really early. Just because there is a bump there doesnt mean that what you are touching is baby. 2 babies ago I had to tease my FIL b/c he rubbed my belly fat. At that point, baby was well under my belly button and he rubbed above. He hasnt touched my baby belly since

[hollytheteacher]

I hope a lot of you remember that people are saying this because they are excited. it's kind of sad to read that some of you think it's annoying/dumb comments/etc. I am a preschool teacher (also pregnant) and whenever we find out one of the moms of our students is pregnatn we jump up and down and squeal and get so excited. Often times the moms are happy that we feel that way and tell us how their parents/family members etc. weren't even excited to find out and it's nice to know someone is!

I know you're hormonal and grouchy, but it's not like these people are sitting at home thinking "how can I annoy the pregnant lady". Some people really like birth and babies (like me) and love to talk about it and when soemone is pregnant it gives you the chance!

I'd much rather have someone squeal and be all excited than say "was it planned?" because i *did* have someone ask me that. I was shocked. we had been trying for five months YES it was planned...sheesh.

[MaerynPearl]

The "was it planned?" comment reminds me...

because DH and I were not married yet EVERYONE assumed it was not planned (it was VERY much planned, we had been trying for two years!)

Thus, I didnt get "are you excited?" comments and probably would have preferred them over people trying to figure out whether they should be excited for us or sorry for us.

[nova22]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

The "was it planned?" comment reminds me...

because DH and I were not married yet EVERYONE assumed it was not planned (it was VERY much planned, we had been trying for two years!)

Thus, I didnt get "are you excited?" comments and probably would have preferred them over people trying to figure out whether they should be excited for us or sorry for us.

On the flip side of that, we quite possibly conceived our first baby on our wedding night. The baby was born one day short of nine months after our wedding date. When I was newly pregnant people would ask me, "Did this happen before or after you were married?" Uh, none of your business, at all. It happened after, but that's really between me and my husband, isn't it? Otherwise I wouldn't tell you "the baby is due in February," I would say "the baby was conceived in our honeymoon suite." I hate when people think they are privvy to information like whether or not the baby was planned/accidental (which is a goofy term to use, if you put a quarter in the gum machine you can't be surprised if a gumball comes out!) and how you're going to afford your kids and how you can handle them all emotionally.

A guy from our church has eight kids. Someone asked him when he was going to stop having kids. He retorted, "When was your last pap smear?" She looked shocked and he said "Sorry, I assumed you were okay with highly personal questions, since you asked one first."

[Svarupa]

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher

I know you're hormonal and grouchy, but it's not like these people are sitting at home thinking "how can I annoy the pregnant lady". Some people really like birth and babies (like me) and love to talk about it and when soemone is pregnant it gives you the chance!

I'd much rather have someone squeal and be all excited than say "was it planned?" because i *did* have someone ask me that. I was shocked. we had been trying for five months YES it was planned...sheesh.

Well of course we know they aren't doing it on purpose. That doesn't mean it isn't one of the stresses of pregnancy, especially when people react poorly because you do sometimes feel bad and sometimes very bad. I like when people are excited about my pregnancy, although I'm an introvert and don't seek to be the center of attention so it's a little funny feeling to me!

But I do get annoyed when folks think I shouldn't be grouchy and annoyed or cry because my acid reflux hurts so much. I think of lot of pregnant women do feel pressure to be absolutely happy and overjoyed all the time, when in reality life is usually just not like that.

It *does* feel annoying when you feel awful (I, honestly, have never been this sick in my entire life), and people are uncomfortable that you feel this way and that you express it. We all know that "No, I can't feel excited right now because I'm in pain and not looking forward to it getting worse!" is not an acceptable answer to "Are you excited?!"

(Now I actually am excited... but I easily understand not feeling that way!!)

[MaerynPearl]

I did have someone ask if it was a good accident or a bad accident.

I asked them how I could possibly consider pregnancy an accident. Its not like... oops! We had sex! ha-ha silly us!

I mean, yes... my first two were complete shocks because we used a condom (correctly) and then birth control pills (correctly) since condoms obviously didn't work... but they still weren't accidents. Just surprises.

[Ambyrkatt]

Originally Posted by nova22

A guy from our church has eight kids. Someone asked him when he was going to stop having kids. He retorted, "When was your last pap smear?" She looked shocked and he said "Sorry, I assumed you were okay with highly personal questions, since you asked one first."

I love this!!