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AUGUST Mama's: Mar 16-31 - Page 2

post #21 of 157
How wonderful Bears!! You should have seen my reaction (I'm normally very reserved) I jumped and cheered!
post #22 of 157
Awesome news, Bears! Guardedly good news for you too, Kim. You both have handled this so calmly and I'm so impressed with your strength.

I had our Level II ultrasound yesterday. Everything appears fine - we saw hands, arms, legs, feet, spine, heart, brain and everything looks good. We held firm on not finding out the gender (although DH told the u/s tech that if he could figure it out she could confirm it - she went over that part so quickly there was no way). Weird thing is that I'm not feeling a strong vibe either way. I'm leaning a little bit toward boy bc of a daydream I had when I was pg with Hannah of a little curly-headed boy in overalls, although I felt strongly Hannah was a girl (which u/s confirmed for us then). This might be that boy. Because everything appears fine, I think I'm going to hold off on the AFP - I'd been waivering back and forth and am instinctively feeling this is the right decision.

I also met one of the doctors who might be the one to do a c-section if it came to that and I had to transfer out of the midwife's care. He was an older man and very nice and encouraging of VBAC *if* I go into labor on my own. He discussed Hannah's birth with me a bit and asked if they put me on magnesium bc they were concerned about my blood pressure when they induced me. They didn't. In fact, the question made me recall that my b.p. went down soon after induction started. I'd forgotten all about that and it really makes me mad that I was induced in the first place without allowing me a chance to rest a bit or even be admitted into the hospital for observation first. The doctor today didn't say it, but something about his demeanor made me think that my b.p. wasn't as bad as I was led to believe. He also was encouraging that PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) is something that doesn't occur as often with second pregnancies with the same dad - that there's something immunological that may cause it the first time around. So I'm hopeful.

Last night, DH and I talked about the doc and I said I liked him. DH said something to the effect of, "He sure doesn't like c-sections." Cool to know I wasn't the only one and that someone who isn't nearly as well-read about the over-medicalization of birth in the US picked up on that. Now I feel so good about my choice of CNM and her backup docs. I feel like if the c-section call is made, I'll be so much more confident that it's for a good reason this time.

eta - Welcome, Pam, Krista and Trinnie!
post #23 of 157
Hi Ladies!
I just have to once again say that YOU ARE ALL AWESOME. And your encouragement and support and little cyber hugs got me through an awful week.

Anyway, back to the blessedly mundane world of being just pregnant!

Still eating a lot. It sort of comes in waves. I sent DS to get diapers and tp at our local warehouse club the other night and he came back with the MOST enormous bag of peanut M&Ms you've ever seen. Not a good thing for me to have in the house.

I'm having some mid-back pain when sitting. Like, at night when DH & I arereading/watching tv I have to shove a firm pillow behind me. I think it's that my body is off-kilter -with the weight gain and needing to get aligned (I haven't been in ages). Not too many other complaints.

Got my doula info in the mail this week. I've pretty much decided on my own that I really, really, really want a post-partum doula. If only for a few hours for one week. The problem is that DH is out of a job and it IS $20/hour. We had a discussion about it tonight and DH is worried about where the $$$ will come from. It's funny b/c I think it's something that's become so important to me that I'd be willing to save our butts off until then. It's not like we have no $$, DH is doing freelance and will continue to work from home-this is his thing now. So, that's my other question-is it WEIRD to feel that I may need the help EVEN DH will be here after the baby is born? As you can tell, I have a hard time asking for help. My parents are deceased and DH's family is not helpful in this way. What do you guys think?

Hannah's mom-So glad you're feeling good about yoru CNM choice. It's just so important having those good, trusting feelings about your practitioner.

Hope to get back to all of you ASAP
post #24 of 157
Im all about having a postpartum doula... seriously I don't think of it as a luxury, like you said you don't really have anyone you can count on and I am the same way. My family lives far away and my husbands family drives me NUTS (the last think I want is any of them crashing here after the baby is born) I have a history of postpartum depression and this idea (pp doula) was suggested to my by my therapist and I never even knew there was such a thing or I woulda done what ever it took to have one after both of my older children. We don't have a lot of money but I really think this should hit high on the priority list if you have no one else to count on. The assistance and peace of mind knowing there is SOMEONE to help in immeasurable.
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" ~Rod McKuen

Pamela Roth
post #25 of 157
EEERRRRKKKKK! I just decided to check www.dona.org to find a pp doula while we were on the topic AND there are none in my state!!!! Oh no! Where else should I look??


"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" ~Rod McKuen

Pamela Roth
post #26 of 157
Roth-I would check with your local or area CNM group or OB/GYN practice, too. They might have references available. In fact, the local agency I got my information from was reccommended by a friend who originally got the info from her OB.

It sounds like we're in similar situations in this regard. I think some of my questioning has to do with two things-I have a hard time asking for help & taking care of myself. In retrospect, although never diagnosed or severe, I believe that I suffered with some sort of emotional slump after DS's birth that probably went on too long. I felt so alone and had no help. Yes, DH was available-at least for about 2 weeks until he went back to work, but he had no idea what we were doing either! I don't think even HE realizes how hard that time was for me.

So, let me know how your search go. If I have to start saving grocery $$ or something, I will do it. The comfort of knowing that someone that's BTDT could potentially be in my home, comforting all of us for a short while, is wonderful.
post #27 of 157
I emailed DONA and they sent me a list of people who are working on there certification..... This is good because also there could be money saving benefits from going with someone in the process of certification (we need to look into that!) There is one right here in my little town, who woulda thought!? So that is defiantly an option. I also went to CAPPA.net and they gave me a list of people near me too (So they are out there! Woo-hoo)

I mentioned the idea of also having a doula for labor to my husband tonight and I think he was a little hurt I don't want anyone to take his place I just thought another person to help would be a good thing... we shall see.

"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" ~Rod McKuen

Pamela Roth
post #28 of 157
:

Just wanted to pop in and say Bears I am sooooo happy for you and your good news....I was thinking about you all day yesterday...
I am glad they found out early and gave you the call....

I got the bug ds had Tuesday night/Wed so I was in bed all day yesterday after throwing up all morning.
I am better today but still very weak and not 100%...still no real appetite although I am trying to eat some fruits here and there....

I be back when I am better......
post #29 of 157
Rothmommy and Bears- I will also be using a doula for my labor, although I think she only comes once or twice after the birth to help out. So she is more of a labor doula than a post partum doula. I wanted to add though, Rothmommy, that a doula doesn't replace your husband, although it is normal for him to feel like that. I didn't have one for my first birth, and I have to say, my husband didn't do a lot of things that a doula would have known how to do. He was supportive, but he was also very nervous. A doula will let him know how he can help too. I am happy that we have ours lined up, I really like her. I asked her also that if my VBAC doesn't work out and I need a c/s to be there also, and she said if that happens and I don't labor at all she will come for free.

Bearsmama, since the doula is $20.00 an hour, maybe that can be a gift that people can get for you? Print out some certificates or something if it makes people feel better in giving something tangible. An hour a week might be good enough, outside people can get a lot done in an hour.

We are doing well. I was really nervous b/c my ds had to get x-rays yesterday and the last time he had them they didn't go well. Obviously I couldn't go in with him this time, but dh went and he did really well. He is an example of having a small deformity that can be fixed. His left tibia (shin bone) is one inch shorter than the other right now. Which is a big difference when it is only four or five inches to begin with. So he has to have a lift installed on his shoe and may need surgery once he is a teenager. When he was born we were worried that he might not walk b/c his leg was soo crooked. He could touch his toes to his knee. But this kid is now running around and has never had any developmental problems. He is usually ahead. But anyway, I know there have some scares with testing lately, this is something you can't really test for and you just deal with it once it arrives. And it is fine, you learn to handle anything that is handed to you. As my husband says, we wouldn't trade him in for anything. But I do feel so lucky that it isn't something more severe.

anyway, so we haven't done any testing other than the ultrasound. I worry enough as it is, I decided I would rather worry after the fact than before. (If that makes any sense?) I am glad to hear everything is working out with the mama's dealing with this.

Melissa
post #30 of 157
Wow, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that we were all infecting one another with a stomach bug. Hang in there, Ap.

Two cool things happened this week. One, I started eating veggies again. In fact, I particularly crave greens. Two, I realized that the baby is constantly moving and I'd been too busy to pay any attention. I have been remarkably unsentimental about this pregnancy, but feeling the quickening is helping me to get more tuned in. I forgot how enjoyable early movement is, it's so intimate.

I also saw an osteopath for my sciatica. I'm still in the post-treatment pain phase, so I don't know yet if it did the trick. I am hopeful. Lying on her table, I realized that I was in constant pain, but that I simply ignored that part of my body, which hardly seems like a good tactic for a pregnant woman. It made me wonder what the he!! I thought I was doing in yoga four times a week.

I'm so excited to have my extreme food aversions lifting. I've been flipping through my cookbooks, planning meals. One of my recipe books has a chart that shows the different food sources for different vitamins and minerals. Looking at it, it occured to me that it makes sense to turn to meat, particularly organ meats, when vegetables don't seem palatable. It seemed to explain my now-defunct craving for liver pate.

I also started cleaning the house again. Guess you could say that I'm officially a second-trimester mama-to-be.

On the downside, I'm very impatient with my daughter, who has taken to tantrumming at least twice a day. Two-and-a-half is a handful. She is elfin, impish and devilish. That's why she is spending today with dh while I recharge my batteries. Dh is begging me to register her in daycare for the winter. Daycare in my province is extremely affordable (seven dollars a day), but it's also kind of an all-or-nothing proposal -- full days only, usually five a week, nine-to-five kind of thing. I was hoping not to use it, at the same time, I hope that I'm not being naive and setting myself up for a fall. Not to mention that my dd is hypersocial and has taken to following daycares home from the park. Are the other mamas of preschoolers-to-be thinking of sending them off when baby comes?
post #31 of 157
Quote:
Originally posted by Dodo


I
On the downside, I'm very impatient with my daughter, who has taken to tantrumming at least twice a day. Two-and-a-half is a handful. She is elfin, impish and devilish. That's why she is spending today with dh while I recharge my batteries. Dh is begging me to register her in daycare for the winter. Daycare in my province is extremely affordable (seven dollars a day), but it's also kind of an all-or-nothing proposal -- full days only, usually five a week, nine-to-five kind of thing. I was hoping not to use it, at the same time, I hope that I'm not being naive and setting myself up for a fall. Not to mention that my dd is hypersocial and has taken to following daycares home from the park. Are the other mamas of preschoolers-to-be thinking of sending them off when baby comes?
$7.00 a day is an amazing deal! I also have a 2 1/2 year old and boy is he testing me (not to mention so is my 6 year old) My 2 1/2 year old wont be 3 until October so for me to send him to preschool I will have to do it in a "day care" setting and I’m not too wild about that. I used to work at a kindercare and know some of the not so wonderful behind the curtain things that go on... so that makes me nervous. But I really think I’m going to have to find SOMETHING for him to do outside of the house come fall. So.... you are not alone.... I am on the same page! Where I live it is very expensive thought. $20.00 a day for 1/2 days! Yikes! We have to do something though! Even if just 1 or 2 days a week until he is 3, then it will cost less.

"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" ~Rod McKuen

Pamela Roth
post #32 of 157
I was feeling so good, and then bammo! I'm laid out again. First, I had an arthritis flare-up (in my stomach!) and now I have ds' sore throat. And I'm still tired from the flare-up. I want to glow again!

My kids have been driving me bananas too. I haven't had any IRL adult conversation (besides dh) for too long. I feel so alone and trapped! I don't think God ever meant for mamas to be so isolated and have to do everything without any help. No wonder so many moms get depression, anxiety, lunacy, you name it!

But on the other hand, I chose to be a mama, and I love it most of the time. I just need some help and some alone time every once in a while. I'm am just not a good mom when I don't take care of my own needs.
post #33 of 157
{{{{{{{{{{[myjo}}}}}}}}}}} I can so relate!!! I feel the same way a lot of the time, about being stuck at home and such. My husband used to work very far from home (nearly a 2 hour drive each way in Chicago traffic) so I would never see him, he would leave for work before the kids woke and come home right at bedtime. Now he just started a new job about half the distance but he is so busy trying to make a good impression that he is working extra long hours. Uggh. It is HARD! Yesterday we finally had some nice weather and I sat out in the yard and chatted with a neighbor (that I don't even really like that much) but just that 10 min conversation was like GOLD to me! ADULT CONVERSATION! Why does it seem like those are so few and far between??

I hope you start to feel better physically. I know that can aid in dampening thing for you emotionally too.

Hang in there.


"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" ~Rod McKuen

Pamela Roth
post #34 of 157
DS turned 2 yesterday and is a pill also. I have him on a waiting list for a toddler program just in case but I probably won't do it. I don't think he is ready. He is very outgoing and social but more so when I am around. I may wait another year. Besides, I have managed so far what's a third kid?:

OK - only comfortable asking this here. I have noticed on the boards and in real life that there is often what I think is a discrepancy between how people labour/deliver and how they parent. i.e. I am familiar with a lot of ap families or families who only eat organic foods, play with natural toys etc and then chose to have very "intervenous" births. Discuss! Is parenting post partum that separate from prenatally.?

AND GOTTA SHARE - Guess who is coming to town soon! Ina May Gaskins!! So excited - what a treat for this preggo. There is a workshop on c prevention and then an evening session and I am planning on going to both.
post #35 of 157
Ap-Hope this bug doesn't have you down for the count for too long. Hang in there and get better!

Melissa-Sorry to hear about your son's leg problems. Amazing how different they seem to be years later after the initil findings-I think this is true of preemies and some other babies born with small abnormalities. Will this problem cause him any problems long-term? Also, good idea aboutasking for the doula as a gift. Unfortunately, you know with the 2nd child everyone's interest seems to wane!!

Dodo-Maybe you and AP are infecting each other???? Hope you're better ASAP, too!
Although I'm not considering daycare for DS (who will be 2.5 when #2 comes), I am starting to get concerned about what in the WORLD we're going to do all day come summer and then when those early newborn months stretch on and on....We will probably continue with music class-but that is 1day/week. I think we need something more. I have to start looking into other stuff. Maybe stuff that DH can take him to and I can stay here with the baby.

Myjo-It must be a computer-generated bug! Take care of yourself. Perhaps all of our kids know that we are preggers and are getting it all out by acting wild???

Ketilave-Interesting question. I think, YES, the two things can be very separate. Personally, I feel more comfortable delivering in a hospital. I was considering using a MW who delivers at a hospital, but we could not afford her services. So, I am with a traditional Ob/Gyn practice that does many interventions during labor-or at least offers them. And that is fine with me. And I am an AP parent-baby-wearing, co-sleeping, nursing, responding to needs, etc. There was a interesting thread here about what you would confess to other moms of the board. Assuming that this board is full of *mostly* AP-leaning moms & more natural mamas. And there are plenty of mamas who have chosen differnent birth scenarios for whatever reason who are AP-types. I think they are unrelated. Although, the "natural birthing" and "natural, instinctual parenting" seem to be very closely related. Interested in seeing what others have to say.

Well, gotta go make dinner. Haven't thought about it yet! All you sick mamas, take good care of yourselves!
post #36 of 157
Quote:
But on the other hand, I chose to be a mama, and I love it most of the time.
I keep reminding myself of this. It's so true. I also chose to get pregnant. It would be awesome if our children could be more compassionate, but again, they didn't choose this, we did.

Dodo, who is hiding out in the computer room because, even after the entire afternoon off, her dd is still driving her up the wall
post #37 of 157
Hi everyone,

My ds has been driving me up the wall as well. He does this thing where he grits his teeth and tenses up his body makes fists and yells through his teeth as loud as he can. It drives me crazy! I think we are having major cabin fever, can't wait until we can go outside again.

And, like others here, I am majorly emotional lately. I get so upset when friends don't call me back. I feel overly rejected and lonely. I know they are just busy, but tell my hormones that. I also get teary at just about anything slightly sad.

bearsmama- thanks for asking about ds. Depending on how his tibia keeps growing, he will need surgery when he is a young teen. The orthopedist says it is impossible to tell, it might keep getting shorter in relation to the other leg or might even off. Right now it is at least an inch off and will always be at least that. There are two different surgeries to fix the discrepancy, but I won't bore you with the details. The thing that is strange, is that it is so rare. I have never heard or met anyone else with this condition, and it took some searching to find anything on the web.

I am also starting to feel really pregnant. My tummy is getting bigger and is pretty tight and round. My hips are already starting to ache, which is worrying me. We have four more months and a lot more weight to gain, kwim?

Hope everyone is getting over the bugs soon!
post #38 of 157
Bears - thanks, DH and I were talking about it last night. When does parenting begin - in utero? Kind of a fun topic on a personal level. I'm pretty on the fence. More "crunchy" people think I am very conservative but then my "mainstream" friends think I am way over the fence liberal. And basically I sit on the fence and fall onto whatever side feels right at the time. Hell, I have had pit, and epi and natural labour. I don't ever want pit again, hated having the needle in my back but definitely see why people want the pain relief! I used to be a veg but DH was not interested and then when I was pg with DS I CRAVED meat. I had eaten some when I was in the peace corps - talk about free range - so we kind of compromise on what we eat. I would like to eat more organic or whole foods but 1) we have the worlds worst farmers market ever known to mankind 2) I can't always afford it. Again, sometimes you have to make changes to meet your more important goals and I would rather stay home with the kids and do without than bring in more money. Sometimes I wonder is some of my convictions are not strong enough and then I realise that mainly it has to do with priorities. I love being a mom and being home with the kids. Not every day is perfect but it wasn't that way when I worked either. I don't feel like I have lost my identity because this is what I want. I don't need to have an indentity outside my home to be whole. My Dad and I often discuss the feminist movement and how it hurt womens ability to choose in some ways. By expecting women to pursue careers and have identities outside the home we established a dual income society. For some of us we don't have the choice to stay home because we can't afford it. Or in our case DH made some drastic career changes to provide this opp. for our kids.

Sorry this has gotten long. These things are something I wish I had friends to talk to about around here but you guys seem to get it. Most my conversations don't get this deep. Hey, DH is a pretty good listener.
post #39 of 157
:

Feeling much better today....

Feeling very pregnant today Lots of movement from my little bean, good kicks, stretches and just like Melissa said my tummy is getting bigger and really round....
I love it I think I am finally getting that 2nd trimester glow...

DH and I even have decided on names yesterday, I think....

Some heavy convo going on here..very interesting...
We too, co-sleep, GD, CD, BF with child led weaning, natural family planning, natural toys, possibly will HS, ect....but I too could not birth anywhere else except in a hospital.
#1 I do not have the support of my DH..he drops at the sight of blood...
#2 I am fearful...and I have had a c-section so too many odds against me.
Does this make me less AP oriented? In my heart, no...
I know many IRL AP mothers who have birthed in hospitals and home birthed all of us embrace each other more so thru our parenting choices not through our birthing choices. We definatley learn form those who have had more natural births and try to incorporate what works into our own. Kinda the theroy of take what works and leave the rest....

But OTOH,I will say this time around I have been able to make other choices about my provider and where I birth since my first birth was very mainstream. SO I am very happy and at peace with being able to have a CNMW care for me thru my pg and then to have the OB I want who is known in our area for her success rates in VBACs and going to a non-invasive hospital.
So, to me doing what works for your family and what feels right in your heart is the best you can do as an AP mother. That to me is what I believe. Sometimes I think the whole idea of being more crunchy than the next is a big competiton on the boards, but in real life is where we all need to live and be.


post #40 of 157
Wow I am way behind! I want to say hi to all the new mamas! Welcome! Our group keeps getting bigger and bigger. I guess November/December were busy months.

I think that the connection between natural child birth and ap parenting are closely related but more so I think the education level is more closely related. Ap mamas seem to know what they are getting into wether it is a home birth, hospital birth, birth center or unattended birth. And then they make a choice on what fits them best. There is no right answer. I do think that many none ap mamas and papas, just go along with mainstream thinking without doing too much research. I don't mean this to sound harsh...I hope it doesn't come across the wrong way. : I just think that they don't know it could be any different or that they can get support from people, like La Leche League. I was shocked to find out how many people didn't even know it existed. Or like cding. So many people think it is still only pins and plastic pants and have no idea the health benefits to cding. I support anyones educated decision.

I have started my gardening! I love living in the pacific northwest! My garlic and peas are coming up and the lettuce, beets and strawberries are going in today! My dh also finishes out waterfall pond and we planted some shrubs and flowers yesterday. I looks sooo nice. I can't wait until everything is blooming and the garden is producing all my yummy food!

I am a little worried about my baby movement. It seems that he/she isn't moving as much the past few days? I think I am expecting more movement all the time and maybe it hasn't really decrease but it doesn't seem to have increased either. Can he/she be going through a growth spurt that he/she doesn't have as much room to move? I still feel movement. Just not as noticeable as it has been.

I better go for now. This has gotten long, sorry.

TTYL
Cheryl
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