What are you thoughts on Mother's Day Out for an 8 mo

[Casey44]

DH and I are thinking of putting DD in MDO, but we're really struggling with the decision. We have no family or anyone to care for DD or help out during the day for me to ever get a break. I love DD, of course, but I think it could be really healthy for both of us to get a break. But I just can't decide- it would be for 2 days/week, 3 hours each day, so a total of 6 hours per week. (I probably wouldn't even have to take her that much if I didn't want to). The cost is so ridiculously inexpensive, it makes so much more sense to do something like this than to hire someone to babysit every once in a while. But I know it's a VERY good MDO and have several references.

I think part of me is feeling guilty, I just can't decide if it's justified or unjustified guilt. Part of me thinks some socialization could be good for her, but part of me thinks she needs as much time with her mommy as possible.

I'm just wondering what your personal thoughts are... I know each mom has to make decisions like this for themselves, but I would be interested to hear different perspectives. Thanks!!

[philomom]

Babies don't need socialization as we think of it. Children don't do more than parallel play until age three or so. Meaning, they play beside each other, not with each other.


But if you need a break, the place is clean and the staff motherly... go for it.

[liberal_chick]

I work in the infant room of an MDO program. While babies don't NEED the socialization, I find that a lot of them have a super good time playing. It isn't a good fit for all babies, but most that I've had have really adjusted well and had a good time.

[Casey44]

What kind of babies do you typically find it to be a good fit for? DD has always been very "shy"... Ever since she was like 6 weeks old she would cry at new faces and she still does fairly often! (I'm not sure if that's shyness or something else?) But I wondered if MDO could be good for her or just scare her to death? I know she would adjust though!

[jillmamma]

:

The only other thing that may be a PITA about it is depending on how often/if your DD still nurses, you may need to pump during that time/provide bottles. But, if you need the break and it is a good program, why not?

[liberal_chick]

The only one I've ever had that didn't "fit" well cried all day (well, 6 hours) for months and months, regardless of what I did. He just wasn't ready.

The best thing you can do, especially if your dd is shy, is to transition her. Don't just drop her the first day and be all "see you in 3 hours!" Bring her and hang out with her in the room the first time or two. Then bring her and hang out for 30 minutes and leave her for an hour. On whatever schedule you are comfortable with, of course. I have found doing this cuts down a lot on the crying b/c by the time they are being left, they at least know my face.

I did have one who still cried a lot after doing that, but only when I wasn't holding her. I think she was just rotten ( , kidding). But she was a pro before Halloween (she started in August) and now she comes and hangs out at my house on days her mom needs a sitter and MDO is closed.

[lolar2]

I'd say give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, that's the kind of thing a baby will recover from quickly.

[sarahr]

Originally Posted by lolar2

I'd say give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, that's the kind of thing a baby will recover from quickly.

If it's a good program and you have a cell phone so that they can call you if the baby is inconsolable, I don't think there's any harm in trying.

[Casey44]

Ok, so am I being silly for feeling guilty? I just feel like since I'm a SAHM I'm supposed to stay at home with her, not send her off for 6 hours a week. And I know I deserve a break but I feel spoiled almost having that much of a break. Talk me through this...

[Youngfrankenstein]

TBH, I have never heard of such a thing. It seems like a lot of time away from dd. I can sympathize with your situation because I have an 8-month-old now. Is there any way you could just find a sitter to give yourself an available "out"? It just seems like a lot of commitment to a program that I don't think benefits the baby.

If you could find a mother's helper or sitter that you can call when you need a break, maybe you'd save some money.

[Ellien C]

I think all parents need a break. I think there's no harm in trying it. I'm a big fan of go for the least expensive, easiest option. If it doesn't work out, you can look into a mother's helper thing. But this the PDO a try - it's all set-up and ready for you to use. You might ask if you can talk to some of the other mothers who use the program. I bet a lot of them are in your same situation.

[Nicole730]

Originally Posted by Casey44

Ok, so am I being silly for feeling guilty? I just feel like since I'm a SAHM I'm supposed to stay at home with her, not send her off for 6 hours a week. And I know I deserve a break but I feel spoiled almost having that much of a break. Talk me through this...

Would you feel guilty if your family was able to come watch DD for a few hours a week? I sure as heck don't! My mom comes over at least once a week to help with the kids and also takes DS out every now and then. I appreciate and love it and feel better afterward.

[Casey44]

I wouldn't feel guilty if someone came to watch her for a few hours a week to help me out. I think the difference is I feel like I'm sending her to "school" and she can't even walk yet! And I think if I had a family member come help out, it wouldn't be for 6 hours every week. That is just feeling like a long time to me, especially since it's every week. And now that she's going to bed at like 7:00 or 7:30, I feel like I get a break at night.

We really started thinking about MDO when she was going through a horrible sleeping stage and I could barely see straight during the day. Now that she's over that, life is feeling much easier and I actually feel like I have decent energy and balance. I think if I wait until she's a little older to send her I'll feel more confident in the decision and know that it's benefiting her too. I don't know- that's my thought for today at least!!