Is it possible to be poorer than dirt? (long)

[weezix]

Finances for us have gotten significantly worse as the months go on. This is VERY frustrating to me because I grew up with little money and I'm used to that and it doesn't bother me, but I've worked so hard over my adult years to keep my money under control and live within my means and find any way to come up with extra money so I could live virtually debt free (other than my mortgage).

Just over 2 years ago I went through a TERRIBLE divorce and luckily financially made it out OK by some miracle I'm sure. I lived out of a van I bought with my own saved up money for 4 months right after we split up while ex kept the house, the van, the kids' beds etc. All that is over now and I got my house back and he didn't get anything out of it. He regularily pays child support and has an amount of spousal support that he pays me monthly until it's paid out.

In December I got remarried. One would think that bringing an extra income earner into the house would make things easier. But I'm so overwhelmed with the expenses I'm worried we are going to end up on the street.

DH also went through a divorce at the same time as me so he also pays child support and paid his ex a HUGE lump sum spousal amount with is tacked on to his mortgage. We live in MY house and HIS house is currently rented and up for sale. The market is terrible right now and it's looking like it will very unlikely sell this summer.

In June his child support went up by $200/mo (not because of a pay increase but because his ex took the kids back 1 day per week on his day meaning that he no longer has the kids 50% of the time {which we are looking into fighting because he didn't want to give that time up]). Also in June, due to tax time, I loose $450/mo in government support (because I was single mother the year before).

Our tenants at DH house just gave notice today and the mortgage over there is $800+ expenses per month and since it's listed for sale don't know if we can realistically rent it until the sale contract is up.

I'm 6 months pregnant and live 30 km from the city so I think getting a job is nearly out of the question (or is it? i dont know). 3 kids in full time daycare I would imagine is a HUGE expense even with subsidy.

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what I can do to be able to come up with enough money for us to even survive. If things stay as is, we will be so far in debt in 6 months that we will be homeless.

Is there any LEGITIMATE jobs I can do from home? I run my own sewing business but with 3 little kids full time and 2 part time under my feet all the time, I can only sew so much. I'll keep trying but it's not going to be enough to meet all the expenses.

I don't know where to look because googling stay at home work just brings up a whole bunch of stuff that doesn't work.

[mum4vr]

I have been there! Sorry it is SO stressful right now. OK-- just a few ideas... have you looked into the WAHM thread on here? There are some very good legit ideas-- like computer work-- that you could do at home. Can you take in daycare kids, or are there too many LOs at your house already? Are you a math/ English/ science whiz? Could you offer private tutoring? If you get enough sewing business, but have trouble keeping up, could you get up just one hour earlier or go to bed just one hour later to catch up-- or could DH initiate "Play Hour" w the LOs when he gets home, so you have that time to sew?

And can you rent DH's house on a monthly contract w the tenants knowing they MUST keep it show-worthy, and that it may sell soon? Really if the market is slow, that may encourage them. Or could you open it to sell on contract rather than traditionally? That opens the home to a LOT more buyers.

And can you pinch pennies anywhere at all in your budget? A penny saved and all...

Hope things look up soon and HTH.

blessings

[Fuamami]

Are you upside down on DH's house? Why don't you drop the price to see if that will help it sell faster? That would save you quite a bit, more than you could probably make working.

[mommyto4grits]

I know you may not want to do this, but what about selling your house and moving into DH's house, if that payment is less and you have more equity? Just a thought.

[justmama]

well I just got informed today that my money is drying up next week. We will pay rent on the first but no other bills and after that, it's dicey whether the rent will get paid or not. So I'm about in the same boat. So I'm looking for a third shift job a few days a week to leave my girls with their dad for bedtime and get some more money coming in. I am looking for an overnight stock position at like Target or Wal-Mart or something hopefully since both are around the corner from me. Is that an option for you?


Regarding the pregnancy and work, it's illegal for potential employers not to hire you because you are pregnant. It's discrimination. And they can't ask you if you are pregnant. It doesn't mean they won't find another reason you aren't qualified though. It's not exactly ethical but I got a job at 20weeks pregnant waitressing by hiding my belly under a loose shirt and positioning my purse "just so" because I was desperate for money to feed my other kids and single. And when they found out, I just acted like I was all thrilled and excited and happy about it and clueless that it could potentially be a problem with work. But I never asked for special accomodations and did my job like everyone else and pulled my weight there until the day before I delivered early at 33weeks. Aside form my short employment, there was nothing they could complain about and they would hire me back in a heartbeat according to my manager. If you are really desperate and can find work, I say you try it. No one can fault you for trying to feed your family and pay your bills through hard work and determination.

[Thystle]

{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Looks like the two houses are the biggest drain that you can do anything about. Not sure how it works in Canada, but can you get rid of one of the houses somehow? Sell less, short sale, forclose, owner finance it, etc???

[mum4boys]

just wanted to give you hugs.

[CarrieMF]

don't know if we can realistically rent it until the sale contract is up.

Is it more important to rent the house or sell the house? If it's more important to rent it then have DH cancel the contract. He does not have to wait until the sale contract is up.

Where do you live in AB that the market is horrible. What is the average time selling in your area? Here it is 3months, though with winter coming it will be slower. Depending on how long dh has had the house for sale I'd take it off market & relist in March.

Is DH's house located closer to the city or dh's work?

Can you do childcare in your house to bring in more money?

[provocativa]

well, i would say you're not poorer than dirt, if you've got a tiny bit of equity in a house. but i agree with the pps that you have to keep renting out whichever house rents for more money. and i also got a job while pg hiding my belly, it can be done. if you can write or research at all, then you can find horribly underpaid jobs on the internet in that field- look in the wahm well. it's hard to find, low down on the list of forums. should be up by the working and students forum, but that's another rant. also you can make tiny amounts of money on hobbies- i make yogurt, and sell some. i go get milk from a farm, and pick up some for aquaintances, and they give me more in gas money than i spend. my little things don't add up to much. but a little is more than none, for us.

[EdnaMarie]

A tiny bit, but easily do-able with kids: Secret Shopping: bareinternational.com

If you can find something that is selling on e-bay that needs to be assembled... you can buy in bulk from China (send offers saying you want to buy in bulk) to suppliers of both and assemble at a fair profit. My DH makes enough doing this that we are going to have to report it as business income and not hobby income on our taxes next year. Or take it apart, like buy earrings and sell them separately for just a bit more what they'd cost together?

You have five kids anyway, can you take another charge?

Become a pet-sitter?

Write articles on e-how?

[happysmileylady]

Honestly, I don't think putting 3 kids in daycare full time will make ANY job worth it. I don't mind daycare at all, but financially speaking, I think it's hard to find any job that pays enough, starting out at least, to cover the cost of that.

On his house-I suggest to keep trying to sell it AND try to fill the rental. You only need one to come through. If you can, try to find a better real estate agent. A good agent can still sell a house in any market.

Can your Dh get a second job? As to working at home, I suggest checking out WAHM.com. Great resource. And you know, all the at home party stuff-Tupperware, Creative Memories, Avon, Pampered Chef etc, all of that can provide an income, just takes a lot of work. I am not sure how much of that is available to you up in Canada, but I am sure some of it is.

[weezix]

Originally Posted by mommyto4grits

I know you may not want to do this, but what about selling your house and moving into DH's house, if that payment is less and you have more equity? Just a thought.

We've dropped the price about as low as we can go. We live in my house because my mortgage payment is half the price of his. Both of our houses are worth about the same.

[weezix]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Is it more important to rent the house or sell the house? If it's more important to rent it then have DH cancel the contract. He does not have to wait until the sale contract is up.

Where do you live in AB that the market is horrible. What is the average time selling in your area? Here it is 3months, though with winter coming it will be slower. Depending on how long dh has had the house for sale I'd take it off market & relist in March.

Is DH's house located closer to the city or dh's work?

Can you do childcare in your house to bring in more money?

We will try and rent it on a month to month contract. It's pretty easy to rent around here because there isn't much to choose from. We need to keep it on the market though at least through the summer because it is more important for us to sell. DH's house is only 3 blocks from mine, so it wouldn't benefit us to move there.

I've thought about bringing some kids in here...but not sure WHO. I don't have any qualifications (or a whole lot of energy), but I'll ask around town.

[EdnaMarie]

If you at least get CPR that's something. You'd want it anyway with a kid at the home (not to mention your own, but I don't have it so no judgment here). Good luck!

[Teensy]

If your DH works regular hours, what about babysitting on weekends and holidays?

I hire sitters through a babysitting service - the sitters provide the owner with the times they are available and she matches them up with families who need sitters. The sitters get paid between $12 and $15 per hour (more on New Year's Eve).

Good luck!

[weezix]

Originally Posted by Teensy

If your DH works regular hours, what about babysitting on weekends and holidays?

I hire sitters through a babysitting service - the sitters provide the owner with the times they are available and she matches them up with families who need sitters. The sitters get paid between $12 and $15 per hour (more on New Year's Eve).

Good luck!

I know they used to have those sitting services where I grew up but I think its too small town here for stuff like that. I'll put word around town that I'm willing to do babysitting. Kids can come here any time because I have my own kids...and they love having people over. I have a trampoline so will have to be parents that are OK with that. I know the Daycares in town aren't allowed to have the kids around trampolines.

The problem is, I do all my babysitting for free....because sometimes I need a sitter too and it's nice when other mom's take my kids when I have appointments and such.

[kathymuggle]

Can you get a line of equity on one of the houses - probably the one you want to sell, and then pay it off when it sells? It will give you some cash.

Have you tried foodbanks - they are not only for people who are out of food, but for people who can save money by using food banks to pay other essential bills (like hydro). Every little bit counts, and you can donate to them later when you have more money.

do you qualify for free food or prenatal vitamins due to low income? Check this site out:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/canada/re...s/cpnp-eng.php

Good luck - hug!

[weezix]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Can you get a line of equity on one of the houses - probably the one you want to sell, and then pay it off when it sells? It will give you some cash.

Unless we rent his house we can't get the line of equity because we can't qualify for more than we have right now. However, if it's rented we could qualify for a lot more, pay stuff off, bringing down our monthly expenses so that might work. We were hoping to sell both his and mine so we could buy a bigger house but if we have to stay here for a couple more years we will make do.