confusion on how to eat

[treeoflife3]

I'm sorry, this is really long

I'm struggling quite a bit with figuring out how would be healthiest and most satisfying for me to eat and I'm feeling really overwhelmed and confused and was hoping any of you intelligent women would have some insight or advice or anything.

As a background on me, I am a self diagnosed food addict, although I don't know how anyone could dispute it. I don't mean I'm a foodie... I mean I have a stupidly unhealthy relationship with food not limited to just emotional eating. I go well beyond that including obsessing over foods as well as hiding food so people (my husband) don't know what and how much I have eaten, as well as so I don't have to share. with the obsession thing, I have issues when I can't get something I was craving (don't even get me started on food commercials or driving past fast food places... )
I am also currently somewhere between 70-80 pounds overweight. I'm not exactly sure how much as I've always been overweight since before reaching my full height. I don't know what would look best on me and feel the healthiest. I also have hypothyroidism that has contributed to this weight (30 pounds gained since birth, rather than losing or maintaining even with EBF for 6 months and minimal solids for a year. I'm just starting to get treatment)
I have the hardest time with foods I shouldn't eat. Generally, I don't have much of a sweet tooth (I'll go for the juicy greasy cheeseburger and onion rings before brownies 9/10) but my tastes are definitely for the processed and unhealthy. Absolutely against all my food beliefs of eating whole foods.
On top of this, I absolutely HATE cooking. I hate it. To the point where I dread making a food plan or looking at recipes or grocery shopping. I hate every aspect of food other than eating it (til I've finished... ) which makes it all the harder to go for the made from scratch whole foods rather than the easily grabbed processed foods.
Beyond just wanting to eat whole foods and kick this darn seriously unhealthy food relationship, I've never been shown anything to do with whole foods. I was raised on the typical SAD diet other than the last year at home where I wasn't really around much anyway to learn about food handling, cooking, and even what is out there. My knowledge of vegetables is dismal and half the time I forget they are supposed to be washed and I couldn't even tell you how to prepare most of them. I'm only proficient at steaming and maybe adding some olive oil and pepper. maybe salt, garlic, or red pepper if I'm feeling daring. I'm afraid to cook most meats and I'm always worried food has spoiled before I've had a chance to use it. fresh is best in my opinion but I always feel like I'm in a race against time and have to throw a bunch away. I don't know the difference between wilted but good and not moldy/obviously rotten but bad. Not to mention, I seriously don't know how to cook. I've never liked it and have always resisted which is now kicking my butt since if a recipe isn't ridiculously simple, I have to look up things to figure out how to do it... this just stresses me out.
don't even get me started on how all this affects grocery bills and my guilt over not saving money...


Here is my main dilemma. I've been reading a bunch of things on different ways to be healthy and eat, including the support for a vegan diet, the support for a grain free/paleo diet and I'm not even sure I understand what traditional means. I get so overwhelmed with all the different things mentioned that I don't recognize (sprouting foods? different non mainstream but apparently healthy foods?)

It all makes sense to me. being vegan makes sense health wise to me but not eating grains and going paleo makes sense to me. prepping food in different ways makes sense to me to get the most nutrients but I'm barely past 'broccoli and carrot are my only vegetables' much less learning all sorts of different skills. Moreover, I feel a strong ethical pull towards being vegan. I have serious issues with how animals are treated and our current situation and location don't allow for all the more kindly treated animals nor for us to have our own. I feel pure guilt every time I consume an animal product because I know that it probably reached my stomach through plenty of pain. How on earth can one be paleo and vegan?

so without sounding TOO whiny... does anyone have any ideas on where I should turn with this ridiculously complex food issue I have of ethically wanting to be vegan, mostly just wanting to be HEALTHY even if that means cutting out grains or dairy or soy or whatever necessary, trying to kick a food addiction, while completely starting from the beginning on learning how to cook, what to cook, and that there are more foods than 'in a box' and 'broccoli'

to say the least, I have made some strides. I make a few things from scratch now (baked goods and pancakes) and I have yeast waiting for me to get up the courage to look up how to make our own bread. We do go to the pathetically dismal farmers market in town to check out what little they have to offer... but I get so nervous getting ingredients with no plans. That's how things go bad... I'm really trying here but I feel like I'm drowning because I'm having to learn everything all at once. I couldn't tell you how to shop with coupons much less how to eat in season... I'm not even sure what is in season... I've never even seen okra til this last weekend (and til a couple years ago, thought it was some sort of seafood... )

I just want to eat like a normal person and have a healthy body.

[Magelet]

You are taking on a huge amount at once, and it seems like it's too much for you. It will be easier to maintain if you make one little step at a time.

From what you've said, there are a couple of things that to me seem to be places to start. (but you can't do all of them at once. they're a series of first steps I would take).

-Learn to cook more. Of course this will take time. And you've already started. I think maybe rather than trying to learn to cook all at once, or allowing it to become overwhelming, picking one new thing to cook a week (or every two weeks. So for instance, one week you could get spinach at the market and explore different ways to prepare it. Another week, you might choose chicken, or a cut of meat, or a type of cheese. cooking blogs, cookbooks, and us here at MDC are your friends for learning to cook new things. (there are a lot of great vegetarian cookbooks with lots of ways to prepare vegetables. I like ones which go through by vegetable, talk about the veggie, when it's in season (though that might be too much to deal with right now), what the best ways are to prepare it, how to store it, and some recipes.

-Cutting out sugar would probably be even more important than reducing grains. All processed sugar, and maybe natural sugars as well. (Though fruit is probably fine. for some people, honey, maple syrup, molasses, etc are easier to digest and they can eat them in moderation. if you have trouble eating them in moderation maybe just eating fruit for sweetness.) again, sugar is hugely addictive, and it also messes with your body's system for teling you it's full, and lots of other systems.

-increase your healthy fats. This sounds to me like this is very important for you. Increasing healthy fat will help you feel fuller, and may help you get your food problems under control. I don't think it will solve them as it sounds like there are a lot of emotional factors as well, but it will help with the physical factors a lot. Healthy fats include butter (ideally grass-fed butter, but regular old butter is actually quite healthy), coconut oil, olive oil, and fatty meats. Vegetable, corn, soy oils, fried foods etc, are comparatively unhealthy fats, and I wouldn't recomend eating much of them.

-Eliminate soy from your diet. This is really vital for everyone with thyroid issues. Soy contains goitrogens, which inhibit your body's use of iodine, which is nessicary to make the hormones your thyroid needs. In people getting sufficient iodine, with healthy thyriods moderate amounts of soy may or may not be a problem (different folks say different things, with different evidence), however in people not getting enough iodine, or with compromised thyriods, it can be very problematic. If you eat a lot of processed foods, you may be getting very high amounts of soy in your processed foods.

-Parallel to this would be increasing in your diet foods rich in iodine. (Iodide, the form used in iodized table salt, is not the same, and is not used in quite the same way, which may be detrimental. There are some threads (or at least one) on mdc that talk about iodine in huge detail) One really really easy source of small amounts of iodine (it's a trace mineral so you don't need tons anyways though probably more than just salt) is sea salt. You want to make sure you get unrefined sea salt, as refined sea salt has all of the minerals removed from it. "Real Salt" and "Celtic Sea Salt" are two brands readily availible online. (and locally here maybe where you are.) french grey sea salt is unrefined salt. if it's pure white it's often, but not always unrefined.
The best sources of iodine are all from the sea. Sea fish, sea salt, and kelp are the best sources. Dairy products also have some iodine in them. Kelp is a fantastic source, though it might not be best for you given your just learning to cook (that said, you can through a peice of kelp (or kombu it's often called) into a pot of rice, beans, pasta, etc and get some of the nutrients into your rice, breans or pasta.

-I think that from what you've described, a paleo and/or low grain diet might work very well. I don't know a lot about it but I know (partley from other sources and partly from expeirience) that grains and carbs are VERY addictive. Cutting out grains and cutting down carbs might help a lot with the physical addiction aspects of food for you. That said, I would start by changing to a basic whole foods diet. Once you are comfortable cooking whole foods and familiar with them, paleo, traditional foods, low grain, etc won't seem so daunting.

-With food spoilage, if you are consumeing whole foods, in their natural state or pretty close to, honestly, there isn't

not moldy/obviously rotten but bad

state that is bad for you. Admitedly, it might not taste it's prime, but if it's not obviously rotten, or moldy, or smelly or otherwise gross, (particularly with veggies and fruits but meat as well) then it is not too spoiled to be bad for you. Many veggies which are a little softer than desired can be perked up again by putting them in some cold water (such as carrots, celery, lettuce (just put the ends in like flowers, same with celery) cucumbers. I'm sure other veggies can as well)

-washing veggies? hah. I do that now and then. like if there is mud on it. sure I ought to wash them but ya know, sometimes it's just more than I can handle right then.

-I recomend trying to saute some veggies. It's pretty easy, it's pretty fast, it's often tastier than steaming, and it is very versitile. To saute veggies, heat up some olive oil or butter in a frying pan. (not so hot it smokes.) over about medium heat (depends on your stove), cook the veggies (the best prep is to slice them thinly or mediumly) in the pan stiring occasionally until soft but not mush, and brightly colored, not grey. Add a bit of salt and pepper to taste. You can cook many veggies this way. Carrots, onions, zuchini, summer squash, butternut squash, green beans, spinach, bell peppers, corn, cabbage (kale and chard can also be prepped this way but it works best to add a few spoonsfuls of water or white wine to it, or a little bit of white wine vinegar) all saute up wonderfully. I'm sure there are more but I can't think off the top of my head.

In terms of whether paleo, veganism, or some other diet is the best for you, no one can say. I personally don't beleive anyone can be very healthy as a vegan, long term and over generations, however I know there are many vegans who feel that they are far healthier. In terms of ethics, I'd look at pastured/humane/sustainable meat, as it's healthier as well as more humane. (and also realize that even for growing plants, you either must fertalize the soil with animal poo/etc from animals probably raised for meat and dairy, or with petroleum based fertalizers whose nitrogen run off poisons the seas.)

. you can do it. just take it one step at a time.

[Jaxinator]

Well, if you're intimidated by bread making go to thefreshloaf.com
They have a great page giving detailed intructions on how to bake a loaf of bread. It's super basic. I got hooked! Just try it once, see how you like it. It's easier than you would think.

I agree with what Magelet said in her awesome post, no one can say what kind of diet will work best for you. I've decided to cut out what's considered meat by kosher standards, which is to say I'll still eat fish. I have no idea if there's even a term for that.

I don't have much advice, but if you cut out the processed food for long enough most likely you'll lose the taste for it.

My healthy food journey has been slow, over the course of about 6 years now. Start off slow if you need to, find one or two recipes that don't look intimidating to cook per week.
Allrecipes.com is great, you can find pretty much anything, and read the reviews to find out how other people did things.
Maybe pick one unfamilar, in season, vegetable per week and learn how to cook it. I swear, the internet has been the best thing for my cooking.
You could try to make one of the meals vegan.
It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and you don't have to pick a label.
Also, I have found that decent cooking supplies make cooking much more enjoyable. At least one decent chef's or santoku knife is the must for me, bare minimum.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll get lots more great advice!

[mamadelbosque]

Hi there! I was much like you a few yrs ago too... only my mom did cook when I was younger, but starting around higschool she stopped and we went to an utter crap diet (I lived on mac'n cheese, ramen, cheese, chips & salsa for a couple yrs...).

Anyhow, when I wanted to start cooking I just thought of stuff I liked to eat out and found recipes for it: chicken parmesan, general tsos' chicken, stir fry, spaghetti & meatballs, etc. And went from there. I just looked'm up online and found recipes that sounded good, doable and had a good reviews

Then I started buying cookbooks... I now have quite a collectionn. I'm not a vegan, or vegetarian or a traditional foods person or anything... I'm a "eat what I like, make most stuff from scratch/use whole wheat/brown rice/etc when possible" person Good luck!!

ETA: Oh. And I don't make my own bread - way too much work, too much of a hassle/etc. OCCASIONALLY, I make pasta. But mostly I buy WW pasta from the grocery store

[newmamalizzy]

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. Food can be difficult for me, too. After an awful food day when I feel bad about myself, I often try to calm myself by constructing a huge, overly-detailed new food plan. It never ever works for more than a day. Like several previous posters, I think you'll have much greater success taking baby steps. If you have a really unhealthy relationship to food (a food addiction as you describe it) you may have to really practice before you can develop the self-control you need to make lasting changes to your diet. I'd say, start by vowing to ADD one healthy thing to your diet, something you have to do every single day. If you're successful, add something else, or make a healthy/more homemade substitution in your diet. If you're anything like me, failure makes things worse, so don't set yourself up for it by taking on too much!

[sagewinna]

Instead of deciding what to cut out of your diet, maybe you could start by adding things TO your diet. Add a new fruit or veggie once a week, learn a recipe that includes it. Make a variety of salads, those are easy to prepare and filling and good. Slowly replace old snacks/meals with new things, whole foods, etc, but one thing at a time. If you don't care for something or it doesn't turn out right, try it again later. That has worked well for my husband, who has similar food issues.

[lookatreestar]

wow, i could have written this post! i totally understand. i am so confused about food sometimes. right down the the buying fruits/veg and throwing them out because i think they are bad

and i am married to a chef so i have no excuse. i just have zero talent or interest in cooking. it does NOT come naturally, like you have to check the recipe 70809 times even for a simple recipe. my dh has every recipe he uses at work in his head, plus hundreds of others. he can read and make a recipe once and never have to look at the book again. its really frustrating! esp. when i am the one home with the kids most of the time. i just want them to grow up eating well and enjoying healthy foods.