Trying to get over "what if fears"! Help

[seattlemamma]

I am getting closer and more nervous. Trying to get in a more positive train of thought. I am dealing with so much negativity and am trying not to let it seep into my birth plans. I wish my DH was here. He is always so positive. Everyone that knows me asks the question, "So your having it at the hospital this time, right?" My reply is, "I am prepared to have the baby at the hospital..got all the paperwork and everything done." So family and everyone believe I am having this baby at the hospital. Had last three at home. The youngest was UC.

My last Dr. appt. didn't go so well. They informed me that they scheduled an automatic induction for Tuesday the 17th and the only reason they gave is, "because it is "standard" procedure for gestational diabetes. They always induce at 39 weeks!" She also rambled off about large baby and stillbirth(I hate scare tactics)..even though people who have numbers under control without meds have the same chance of stillbirth as people without gestational diabetes. She even confirmed this. My family has consistently delivered 8-10.5lb babies. Not concerned about large babies." I am not on meds and am keeping my numbers were they should be. All NST's, ultrasounds, and other stats are, based on mine and Dr.'s opinion, "excellent!".

So now I have canceled the rest of my Dr. appts. and am on my own from here on out. Due on the 23rd. Trying to clear my mind of fears so that I can base my birth decisions on intuition not fear. I don't mind going to the hospital if I need to, but I would rather not!

I have done way more research and preparation this pregnancy, because of the diagnoses, but still remain unsure. I know it is partly due to the fact that their is absolutely no support from anyone, but my DH this time and he may or may not be here.(Army) Hoping this baby decides to come on a weekend so he can be here. The other reason is everyone that knows me and my previous birth choices feels it is their responsibility to tell me horror stories and all the "what ifs". Of course then I look up the stuff on the internet to see what I would do in the "what if situation" and just succeed in increasing my anxiety!

I am having a lot of cramping and BHX contractions. Lots of pressure on the cervix. I feel like this baby might be a few days early just like my other babes. EDD 08/23

If anyone has POSITIVE stories or advice about how they dealt with the "what if fears" I would greatly appreciate it.

[Blue_Spiral]

So, your family is assuming that because you have GD you are going to the hospital?

This is my first baby, planning a UC, so I really have no idea what to expect from my body (other than the fact that I believe it knows exactly what to do and will respond to my positive affirmations).

But, I have the hypnobabies and listening to the positive affirmations always makes me feel so good.
I discovered they have birth affirmations on youtube too!

Saying them is soooo calming.

I have ups and downs about this. Some days it seems I keep hearing all these bad things, or I allow fears to seep in and so to flush those out I just try to pump my mind full of peaceful images of my birth, etc.

I've even been "journalling" about what my birth will be like. I imagine different wonderful scenarios and write them out and read them a couple times.
I figured that I will focus on the absolute best things happening, and aim for that, even if I fall a little below, no harm done. And if I achieve it, then YAY!

I imagine my birth being quick and pleasurable. Even delicious and enjoyable.
Why not?

(It's not to say that I am not prepared for the worst. I am totally preparing myself for ANYTHING to happen. But I am not counting on it.)

[MittensKittens]

You already know that GD does not have to increase your risks if it is under control, and you already had a UC? What's there to say except, listen to your instincts, mama! Go to the hospital if you feel the need, but don't feel cornered into an unnecessary induction either!

[Astral Mama]

I would suggest you listen to yourself and recognize that the fears we feel exist for a reason -- to protect ourselves and our loved ones from danger. It would be a tragedy if, like Janet Fraser of Joyous Birth, you made a decision for yourself and your child based upon adherence to the practices of your community that ended up endangering your health, or that of your child.

Fear is natural and it exists in order to protect us from danger.

[lovestolearn]

I hope you are doing well, seattlemama! I do EFT with my pregnant clients to help them clear any unnecessary fears, so that they can hear their intuition more clearly. There is info on the website, or feel free to PM me if I can help. (((Hugs)))