Children's belongings and other and general vent - Page 2

[Goodmom2008]

Originally Posted by Roxanne600

That's interesting about him having to buy me out...

The reason I don't want the house is because not only could I not afford it, but it has dropped in value so we are in the hole. Our mortgage was for 160,000. He took out another 8,000 at some point without my knowledge so now it's at 168,000. I had a realtor friend come by and she said that she would put it on the market for 150,000 at the most.

My name is not on the mortgage, or the deed. I would rather walk away without that debt.

He doesn't realize how much the house has dropped in value. So when he came to me and said he wanted the house, I said yes, if I got this year's tax return. I used it to buy my own reliable vehicle (up to that point we had only one car that was a POS and I didn't feel safe driving around in it).

I told him that legally, I have a right to stay in the house. And that the children's belongings stay with me. But I'm thinking I might move out early just so I can get my own space away from him. He has a key to the house, so he walks in whenever he wants. The other day, he came over to made himself some pasta and sauce. He got angry when I said the girls things were coming with me, and threw a spoon covered in hot pasta sauce and it splashed everywhere, and some of it landed on our baby, who started screaming. At this point I am thinking I might just say fine, I'll move out now if you let me have such and such items, then I get to keep them and get into my "own" space.

Call the cops the next time he gets violent (throwing a spoon is violent) and have him removed from the home. You may or may not get a restraining order, but you will have made a point to your stbx that he can't behave in the manner without consequences.

[Goodmom2008]

Originally Posted by doubledutch

you are also within your rights to change the locks.

And in the abscence of a court order granting her exclusive use of the marital home, he would be within his rights to either call the cops to be allowed in (and they would assist him in this) or break in.

It's not as simple as changing the locks.

[chatsalot]

any amount of mortgage paid on the house with martial money you are entitled to, if he sells the home you will also be entitled to it. i cannot imagine a judge kicking you and a newborn out of the house. as for rights to the home when you get an attorney and make your plan to leave. Also ask that you be provided living expenses. GL

[homewithtwinsmama]

Originally Posted by doubledutch

don't bargain with him about what you take with you, or even let him know that you're moving. just pack what you want and move. then say, "the house is yours." done!

This is absolutely what you should do, and I hope you took pictures of any red marks/burns from that sauce. Stop talking to him. Take the urn and the things you need to care for your kids and get out. Make sure you file legal separation so that any debt or stupid payment/non-payment issues don't kill your credit.

[hillymum]

Originally Posted by Roxanne600

That's interesting about him having to buy me out...

The reason I don't want the house is because not only could I not afford it, but it has dropped in value so we are in the hole. Our mortgage was for 160,000. He took out another 8,000 at some point without my knowledge so now it's at 168,000. I had a realtor friend come by and she said that she would put it on the market for 150,000 at the most.

My name is not on the mortgage, or the deed. I would rather walk away without that debt.

He doesn't realize how much the house has dropped in value. So when he came to me and said he wanted the house, I said yes, if I got this year's tax return. I used it to buy my own reliable vehicle (up to that point we had only one car that was a POS and I didn't feel safe driving around in it).

I told him that legally, I have a right to stay in the house. And that the children's belongings stay with me. But I'm thinking I might move out early just so I can get my own space away from him. He has a key to the house, so he walks in whenever he wants. The other day, he came over to made himself some pasta and sauce. He got angry when I said the girls things were coming with me, and threw a spoon covered in hot pasta sauce and it splashed everywhere, and some of it landed on our baby, who started screaming. At this point I am thinking I might just say fine, I'll move out now if you let me have such and such items, then I get to keep them and get into my "own" space.

If he does something like this again, call the police, file a domestic violence report and then petition the court for a restraining order and sole posession of the house. If he actually causes aby kind of physical harm to you or your chilod then head straight to the court house and file for an emergency protective order which will keep him away from you.

[Roxanne600]

Thanks for the advice, ladies. I am so thankful this forum is here.

I'm just so overwhelmed. I'm hoping my case gets re-assigned quickly, before anything worse happens.

This week he took all the money out of our account and left me $50 to live on. I told him groceries alone cost $100! He ended up leaving me with $150.

I'm so overwhelmed. My baby has colic and screams at me constantly, day after day. My hair is falling out in clumps, I'm loosing weight way too fast and I think its affecting my milk supply. I keep snapping at my girls.

I just want this over with. As soon as I get a lawyer and file, I think I am just going to take everything I want and move out. I can't take it anymore.

[vannienicole]

I think that is considered abandonment. Head up to DHS for help with food stuffs.