A solution to the "WHY" problem.

[ChristyMarie]

I don't know if this will work forever but right now DS is embracing the idea.

He's driving me crazy with the "BUT WHY" questions.

He also loves those silly band things.

OK.

He has 12 silly bands. He can put them on in the morning. For every (silly) WHY question he has to give me a silly band and then I will answer. When his bands are gone, no more WHY questions for the day.

I have no problem with real questions, those do not require a band. But when he asks a WHY question I say, "that's a WHY question, are you sure you want me to answer?" Makes him stop and think. Sometimes he hands over a band, sometimes he doesn't.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I think I need an example of what's going on, because from the op it just sounds like you are being mean/punishing him. I don't think that is your intention, and i know the "why" phase we are rocking it right now but I *think* that it is really about conversation and connection, learning, being inquistive, figuring out how to hold converstaion, figureing out the reasons behind things. Rarely do I think the motiviation is directly to annoy me. And if I think that is what is going on I address that not the questions.

My response to why questions:

"Why do you think?"
"I don't want to talk about it anymore"
"Because xyz/the reason" over and over again
"Because of (some ridiculous not real thing)"
"Hmm I don't know"
"Didn't we already talk about this? What did I say then? Do you remember?"
"Hey look at that shiny object over there"
"Why are you asking?"
Then I'll throw it back at ds "why are you eating cereal? Why did you put milk on it? Why are sitting in a chair? Why are using a spoon?"

[HappilyEvrAfter]

First: I TOT-A-LLY get your frustration, it drove me B-A-T-T-Y!!

I learned to view his WHY questions in a different light. It was my issue, not his.

Believe me, it's def still aggrevating some days, but (as long as I can tell he's not purposely doing it to bugger me) I always answer....even the silly ones because he's showing me a need for connection on some level that way.

I have my limits and I may gently tell him that I just can't answer right now or that "I don't know so we'll have to look it up later", but I don't ever want him to feel like he can't ask me something.

They do phase out of it a bit and learn to ask more appropriatly though.

But I use the same prinicipal that I learned in management, when people understand the WHY behind a project they tend to accept the flow of work better.
I never looked at his questioning as a form of "rebellion", only a need to understand why he was supposed to be doing something or why he was supposed to understand something.

It works for me and mine.