For those that sent their kids to Kindergarten... - Page 3

[lovingmommyhood]

I'm not allowed to do XYZ or Z with my child? They better think again... ...You can bet I'd be walking my child in.

[beebalmmama]

I just found out that ds's teacher doesn't let parents walk in on the first day. Total meltdown with ds crying and torn from my arms and taken inside.

I should preface this by saying we did have a meet the teacher hour earlier this week. Where I was with him and we did a few activities in the classroom. Although somewhat hectic and quick hour. He also has met the teacher several times, because he is at the same school where dh teaches.

I had no idea that on his first day I couldn't go in and at least hang up his backpack and get him settled. I knew he would not do well if I stayed very long. But I had told him I would get him through the door and situated.....Totally feel like I lied to him. I also should mention that ds is a super reserved kid and takes A LOT of time to warm up to new situations/people. I just feel so bad that I didn't prepare him for that, not that it would have helped, I know. But it just happened so fast. I've never left him in a new place without some sort of gentle transition.

I had NO idea she wasn't even going to let me in the door. Dad reported that he was doing fine after 10 minutes or so... Thankfully dh is there and I appreciate the teacher for sending word to him that ds was okay.

But still feel torn about the whole situation.. I definitely understand your concern OP. I would certainly park the car and walk him to the door and get permission to walk him to his teacher (especially if he hasn't met them yet). Good luck!! It's tough, especially with your first and more so if they're shy.

[AllisonR]

This sounds so off and alien to me. Sounds counter-productive to getting kids confident in their school environment frankly. I also think it sends a message to the parent that your child is a number in a factory line and will be rigidly treated as such. Maybe it's just me, but I would say that was 180 degrees opposite of our school policy.

5yo DS just started in the main elementary school. First two weeks before school officially opened, he was asked to come in to SFO (like american recess - outside and inside play). But this was optional, and parents could drop off and pick up kids when they wanted. So you could start out slow, an hour or two on the first day, then more the next day.... The idea being that by the time actual school starts, your child is used to the environment, comfortable, has meet and become friends with a few other kids, knows his teacher.

Also, the parents were expected to drop off your child, sign them in and out, and stay for a few minute (not hang about forever) in order to get to know the teachers as well. That way if an issue came up early on, the teacher could address it with you.

Then the 1st day of actual school, the parents were invited with the children for a short time, then the parents went to a separate room with the teachers to go over general school policy, important info.... plus the parents could bring up concerns. For example, in DS class, there is a 0A with 17 boys and 8 girls and a 0B with 13 boys and 11 girls. Some of the parents of girls were concerned about the imbalance, and had voiced this concern earlier in the summer as well (there was an open house in June). So the teachers discussed with us that they decided to make more floating 0A and 0B classes until october, when they would get a better feel for all the kids and teachers and then might regroup it to be more even boy/girl ratio.

I think our school method is working, at least for DS. Who went to bed tonight knowing tomorrow is the weekend, and he is bummed he won't be going to school.

[carfreemama]

beebalmmama, I am so angry for you! I'm glad to know your ds was fine and I'm sure most kids are "fine," but that doesn't change my feeling about this NOT being okay. Dd just would not be all right with that. Also, I haven't spent the first 5 or 6 years of her life gently transitioning her to new situations and responding to her needs, just to have a "system" tell me how it's done.

I SO wish I could homeschool. It's these kinds of situations that just infuriate me. These are little children. What about the kids who don't even have the comfort of knowing a parent is close by?

I just can't get my head around this policy. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. It was NOT your fault. I would make sure your ds knows that sometimes the school has rules you disagree with and you did not choose this to happen. I'm sure you have done that already. Lots of hugs. In spite of my misgivings, dd did have a great year in primary last year.

[tjjazzy]

what about people who walk their kids to school? when i pick up ds1, i drive my stroller right into the school and right into his classroom to pick him up. there's only one door unlocked and one parking lot you're allowed to use (there's another lot for the Best Start program-that's sort of like preschool) so that you HAVE to walk by the secretary/principal's office. i find it very odd that you can't walk your child inside. i've helped other people's kids get their things into their bags etc. when i get in the classroom. i walked another boy to his sitter's house on mondays all through ds's first year of kg. how in the world would a person pick a kid up if they couldn't go into the school?? plus, when we drop him off, the teacher isn't there until a certain time. i wouldn't be very happy if ds2 and i couldn't wait with him in the classroom, esp. in winter.
ds1 is extremely independent. if i told him i would leave him at the front door and he would go to his room alone, he probably wouldn't care but i still think
those rules sound pretty crazy. i can't imagine not being able to have free access to my own kid. but maybe it's different b/c our school is catholic and in a small town where everyone knows everyone. also, the classes are small. no more than 20 kids per class. they got a lot of JKs this year, so they split the classes. less than 20 kids go monday, wednesday and scheduled fridays and less than 20 kids go tuesday, thursday and scheduled fridays.
was there an orientation day? when ds1 was starting his first year of school, the teacher held an orientation day.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by hermionesmum

There's a car line?!
Sorry, I'm British. We are expected to take the kids into classrooms, provide any help with coats/boots/handing in homework up until year two, (6 going on 7 year-olds) At which point they have been in that school at least two years.
Putting them out of a car would be considered neglectful over here.

this car line thing is really foreign to me as well. in ds1's kg classroom, they don't leave the room unless they are taking the bus at the end of the day or a parent/guardian/pre-approved person picks them up IN their classroom.

[CherryBomb]

I think that all sounds ridiculous and i wouldn't be okay with it. There are only 14 kids in dd2's kindergarten class (small, rural school) but I walk her into class every day (she does have special needs, but other parents walk their kids in, too). I was in there for like 20 minutes the first day talking with the teacher and showing her around the room (she's nearly blind, so getting her familiar with the room is important).

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by liberal_chick

FTR, this school is kindergarten only and has a bit over 300 kids enrolled at this point (according to his teacher last night).

now that you say that, i can see why they have the rules. i wouldn't want 300 kids' parents' wandering all over the school, parking their cars all over the place etc. etc. crazy!! ds1's school is KG (age 4) -Grade 8. there's also a preschool (sort of) program within the school that he attended before JK. i can't even imagine a school dedicated only to KG with 300 kids in it! LOL i don't think my HS even have that many in it...

[PrincessWinnie]

Originally Posted by tjjazzy

now that you say that, i can see why they have the rules. i wouldn't want 300 kids' parents' wandering all over the school, parking their cars all over the place etc. etc. crazy!! ...

I agree! DS's school is a K-5 but has over 750 kids. We have the same policy of not being able to walk them to their classroom, but for the same reasons I totally understand. I can't imagine a room full of kindergarten parents fretting over their kid, taking pictures, trying to get the teacher's attention, etc. then having to be ushered out so class can start on time THEN the teacher has to settle everyone down. I imagine with some of the more "helicopter-y" parents it would be a disaster! DS was surprisingly okay with having the "big kid" helper walk him to his classroom and even found a friend from preschool who walked with him, too.

[St. Margaret]

We were lucky growing up that the school was wide open, and many of us came in from the back, through a bike path, through the field, pas the playground, to the classroom buildings. No way to keep people out, lol. But I was a tad lost my first day of 1st grade-- it just seemed so big to me! But I spotted the right landmark and found my room. I just think little kids might get so confused not being dropped right in the classroom... K kids can't always speak up to strange adults. I guess most would at least say their full name? This makes me sad for the kids on whom this is hard!

[~cassie]

We are allowed to walk our kids in on the first few days. More if the child needs it. From what I have been told, they don't help with buckling the seats either

[LemonPie]

We're homeschooling now, but my son went to K and 1 at PS. He was insistent on riding the bus, so I met him at school and walked him in and stayed for a bit, and I did the same for first grade as well.

I would have a huge problem with this policy. I don't do well with people telling me what I can or cannot do with my own kid. The local public school told me that I *had* to give them my son's SSN. Well, they were wrong and never got it.

I'd blatantly ignore the rule and walk in. I'm betting you won't be the only one.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

The car line rules do make sense to me when you think of the volume they have to get through a small space all at the same time. Our small school (125 students in Jr K - 6) has the same set of rules for parents dropping off. But if you don't want to follow them you are welcome to park on the street and walk your child to the classroom. But finding that parking space can be a real stressor some mornings! (This is So. CA -- no one actually walks all the way to school around here, even if they live 3 blocks away. But that's another vent for another day.)

For the first day of K there was a very set routine. Parents parked and walk their child to the classroom (but there is only 1 Jr K and 1 K class). They were allowed to stay for about 15 minutes while kids found their tables and cubbies and got settled into the classroom. Then the teacher rang the bell and the parent were polite but firmly told "This is it parents. Give your child a kiss and please exit through the exit door. Since everyone was doing exactly the same thing at the same time, it seemed to lessen everyone's anxiety level.

After that, over the next couple of months, most parents transitioned to the "bye in the car" method and the kids walked themselves in. But you could always find a street spot and walk in if you wanted to (or needed to carry in those every fun project assignments).

I will admist to transitioning my DD to a high backed booster at the very edge of the weight limit and before I would have preferred to just to get her so she could get in and out of the car independently for school. The pickup line is fierce and the time to get them settled in just seconds, so it was crucial she could do this for herself. But that is really a tough choice to make and I understand why you don't want to.

[liberal_chick]

Just thought I'd update.

The first day was last Thursday and it went really well. I ended up just letting him out of the car b/c it took so.long to get through the car line (over 40 minutes). I gave myself 45 minutes before I had to be at work and I was still late. It was crazy. He did fine though. And he did fine the next day.

Yesterday and today have been whole other stories, though. Dh took him yesterday since ds2 was sick and told me that he had kind of cried a bit but was ok.

Today, they made me go park my car b/c we couldn't get him to get out. Then he darted back and forth between us (while still in the car) to avoid getting out (all the while crying and screaming). Finally, one of the aides took him from me and he was screaming "mommy! mommy, no!". I was bawling by the time I got out of the parking lot. I think it traumatized me just as much as I'm sure it did him. And I have no idea how to deal with it. There was no compromise to be had with him, it didn't matter that I offered to come eat lunch with him or walk him to the door, he didn't want to go and that was that.

If it gets any worse I don't know that I can handle it.

We thought about putting him on the bus from now on, but I can see that situation repeating itself, just at the bus stop instead of in the car line.

[~PurityLake~]

Today I sent my baby to her first day of Kindergarten. We had registration when she met much of the school staff there one day, then later we took her in to meet the teachers and for evaluation, and Friday we took her in to see the nurse again. She's been looking forward to going to school for well over a year, and has been capable of unbuckling her carseat buckles for longer. However, she will be taking (did take this morning) the school bus to school, even though it's not very far away from home.

Her school is preschool (3-4 yr olds?) through 5th grade (11-12 yr olds?). Everyone at the school has encouraged us to be as involved as we want to be. All parents are welcome to be in the classroom as volunteers, or come eat lunch with your child, any and every single day of school throughout the school year.

I can see why they don't want you entering the school with your child at drop off times, so your child can transition and has only one person to follow, without being distracted by mom during drop off. Not only that, but they are likely wanting to keep the cars moving to avoid anyone arriving late due to one person holding up the line of cars full of other parents and children trying to get to school safely and on time.