preschool nap time = late bed time, what to do?

[joy2grow]

At DD's request we did a trial of two full days at preschool this week. She's been attending 4 half days/week for 6mo. When I come to pick her up at noon all the other kids are on cots w/ blankets and I know she both longed for the experience of cot/blanket time and to stay with her friends as she is very social (and an only child).

I support her need for friends and, honestly, was looking forward to the free afternoons since I work in the mornings. However, the nap time lasts 3 hours (!!) and now she is not tired till 11:30pm, exactly 2.5hrs later than usual.

The fact that I'm doubling my payment so DD can be on a cot for 3hrs w/ only 2 hrs of play is super annoying and I'm not so sure this is good for her either. Basically, I'm feeling like I need to make a decision before next Wed as I went into this with the school on a trial and don't want to establish expectations for DD.

If I do allow this to go on, how do I help maintain a decent bed time? DH and I are tired by 10pm and this pattern cannot go on long term.

[lonegirl]

For me I wouldn't have an issue with late bed time (that's us)....it is the fact that they let the nap go on for 3h! I have no personal experience with preschool but having talked to sil she said naptime usually was for 30min....

[bluebunny]

I feel your pain. I work two days a week so when my ODD was at the sitter's house, she would get a two-hour nap and then not go to bed until 10:30 or so (like you, 2.5 hours after her normal bedtime). It is so exhausting as a parent because DH and I got NO downtime at all, especially with the baby being up, too.

If I were you, I wouldn't let her stay if there is no compelling reason for you to keep her there (e.g. having to work). I found the naptime/bedtime issue to be too disruptive to our family life -- DD would wake up at regular time but be cranky, etc. It became a vicious cycle. Ugh.

[lyterae]

That's a long nap! Can you request that they shorten it?

My dd is 4 and still needs a nap, however they will wake her up at about the 1-1.5 hr mark so that it doesn't mess up her sleep schedule. Starting this fall she will most likely only be napping on "school" days (3 days a week) as she doesn't need a nap everyday anymore.

[Juvysen]

when I worked in a preschool, we had 2 or 3 hr naps (depending on the classroom), but it was no big deal for some kids to not nap or if a parent asked for the child to be woken up after x amount of time. The kids had to sit on their cot while others were going to sleep (10 or 20 minutes), but after that we'd have them at the table coloring quietly or looking at books. It is a very long time for that activity, though...

[sarahr]

My dd's school only has "rest" time for 30 minutes. The first few days she slept and it did mess up her bedtime. But then she got used to the increased stimulation and stopped napping and bedtime went back to normal.

So normally I would say give it some more time and see if your dd gets used to it, but 2-3 hours is very different from 30 minutes. I wouldn't like that at all.

[Gator-mom]

Originally Posted by Juvysen

when I worked in a preschool, we had 2 or 3 hr naps (depending on the classroom), but it was no big deal for some kids to not nap or if a parent asked for the child to be woken up after x amount of time. The kids had to sit on their cot while others were going to sleep (10 or 20 minutes), but after that we'd have them at the table coloring quietly or looking at books. It is a very long time for that activity, though...

I was going to say the same thing..ask if she can be woken up, and if that doesn't work, possibly switch preschools??

I understand needing to keep to a schedule. Ds needs to be in bed by 9pm for me to have sanity, while being a full time student, but he also needs a nap, otherwise it's a cranky fest at my house in the afternoons, and bedtime is extremely difficult (he get's very argumentative and hyper when he's over-tired). We have about a two hour nap time in the earlier part of the afternoon and that seems to be enough time for him to get tired again for bed.

My daycare issue is actually that my home daycare lady (who i really do love) will let him skip nap time if he doesn't want to. But then I pick up up at 4:30-5 and he falls asleep on the way home, not able to wake up once we get there! That is a killer for the bedtime routine!

[2cutiekitties]

I would stick her back in half days and then maybe engage in afterschool activities to satisfy her social element. If you doubled your payment, then not worth it, imo. Waking her up early is an option, but if she is there for the social element, then what is the point of it at all?

[LynnS6]

We had daycare wake dd up after an hour. She was not too happy about that, but it was better than the alternative.

[EdnaMarie]

Originally Posted by lonegirl

For me I wouldn't have an issue with late bed time (that's us)....it is the fact that they let the nap go on for 3h! I have no personal experience with preschool but having talked to sil she said naptime usually was for 30min....

I agree. That is crazy and I've never heard of anything like it!

Three hours??? I would think one hour MAX for a five hour session.

[ramama]

Yeah, I wouldn't pay for my child to sleep for 3 hours! At my daughters' preschool, I asked them to wake them after 1 hour. They were happy to, and respected my wishes. There were times when I would ask them to let the girls sleep if they had, perhaps, a terrible nightmare-filled night or something, but in our house a 3 hour nap would just not fly. For us, and 11:30 bedtime when they have to be up by 7 or 7:30 to go to school again the next morning would just plain suck!

[joy2grow]

Thanks for the support and validation everyone

I was able to talk to the director of the school this morning and she said they are actively working on changing nap time. Apparently they were recently reviewed by some state organization and they failed on the quality report in regards to naps. They plan to reduce it to 2 hrs max and no child will stay on a cot awake longer than 15 min., rather they will do a quiet activity.

I will take hiring another teacher to bring this changes to fruition and she is hopeful that will be in the next few weeks. I am going to switch back to half days only till the change is fully implemented. Hopefully DD understands that it's only temporary (she's nearly 4) when I try to explain the situation to her tomorrow.