Night weaning and co-sleeping

[mamacolleen]

I'm planning to night wean my 13 month old a la Jay Gordon. We were going to start this week but I got a cold and she's pushing through 4 molars, so I'm going to wait until we're both feeling better. But I'd ideally like to start the process before the end of the month.

We currently co-sleep, queen mattress on the floor with a crib mattress butted against it. Neither DH nor I are at all interested in moving her out of our room for awhile yet, and even if we were, we don't have any other room that we could move her too.

Of course, now that I've finally made this decision, I'm agonizing over all the what if's. I'd love to hear stories (positive and discouraging) about night weaning while still co-sleeping. Is it even possible? How did you do it? Will we have to move her to a crib in our room? Does night weaning always work? I'm so nervous that I'm going to do this and she's still going to be up every hour!

[kdescalzi]

I am in the exact same boat as you. I really would like to nightwean my 14mo dd but continue to co-sleep. Everyone tells me the only way to get her off my boob all night long is to put her in her own room. I have no interest whatsoever in moving her out of our bed. I do not know if it can work...I guess it depends on your individual child. Mine happens to be a little firecracker and I am dreading the process. I will keep an eye out for any good advice/tips on this thread. GL

[sunnygir1]

You can totally do it!

My dd was 17 or 18 months old, and it worked for us. We did have a two-bed method in which she was sometimes in our bed and I was sometimes in hers, but I don't think that would be necessary, especially since putting her in her own bed never stopped her from waking up all. night. long.

--Wear clothing. A crew neck t-shirt at least.
--Practice other methods for your lo going to sleep. We did a lot of back patting, singing, ergo walking, even night-time stroller rides.
--Set a time limit. We started with no nursing between midnight and 5am. Later we went to bedtime-5am, then bedtime-7am.
--Stick with it. Give it a week. If it really isn't working, maybe hang it up and try again in a month or two.

ETA: Oh yeah, TALK about it. Talk to your lo about the coming change at least a few times. Tell her what is going to happen. Then when it comes time to follow through with the plan in the middle of the night she will be familiar with the conversation. I am a HUGE proponent of talking about things with your baby/toddler and assuming that they can understand it on some level...it makes such a big difference.

[CliffsideMama]

Wearing a shirt to bed seems to really help for us. We are co-sleeping and night weaning right now, too. Dd is 30months and talking about it during the day has been positive for us as well. She used to wake after an hour of falling asleep every night and I'd nurse her back to sleep... and usually 3-4 times more during the course of the night. After 6-8 weeks of night weaning, I am happy to report that she is sleeping for 4+ hours after she nurses to sleep around 8/9pm. (And at 2.5 years old she slept throught the whole night for the first time EVER. I was ecstatic!) Most nights she will still cry out for mama and milk at least once and usually I cuddle her, offer sips of water from her special cup, and she's back to sleep within minutes. But it seems like once a week she'll really get upset around 3am and be crying and awake and begging for milk. Sometimes i struggle with feeling mean for witholding but I know that to succeed in fully night weaning her I have to resist nursing her "while it's still dark outside". I love our nursing relationship but I am happy to have the nights nuring-free now! Good luck on your night weaning journey!

[sh0rtchica]

i'm just subbing here because i'm interested in this topic. DS is 17 months and i'm TTC, so i'd like to nightwean. but he's horrible with transitions, so getting him to sleep elsewhere is so stressful. he hasn't slept in his crib since he was a newborn, because even just looking at it makes him cry right now he's sleeping in his swing, which he has grown too tall for (still under the weight limit, though). we bought him a toddler bed, but when he's tired he just wants his mama! oy.

[dachshund mom]

DD is 17mo and sometimes she wakes in the night and nurses forever, eyes wide open, like she's thinking about something. I finally started getting annoyed with this and I'd break her off and say "milk is going to sleep, bye milk" and HUGE shock... she goes to sleep! This is the child who multiple times has stayed up 15 hours when I'm not there to nurse her to sleep. Sometimes she's up for a while, but reads her books and eventually will lay back down. I usually take her in her room so she won't wake DH, and I can doze off on her bed while she jabbers. I guess the point is, it may not be as bad as you think. Nursing for a minute to calm her down then cutting it off is working best, rather than her waking up, getting upset and me refusing to nurse. We're taking it slow. It may be best to wait until she can understand what you're saying though, which at 16mo, DD clearly was.