Are these signs of some kind of PPD?

[canadianhippie]

I know the basics of PPD, i believe but Im not sure if this is normal feelings to have or if its a bit off.

I feel very strange that my stomach is "empty" I find myself being careful what pushes in on my stomach or careful with boxes pressing on my tummy. Any time I get stomach pains, I think oh no, i hope the baby is ---oh right, no baby.

I feel somewhat sad and disgusted when i get my period and I feel REALLY disgusting being on birth control. I have nuvaring and insert it once a month and I just hate birth control, I hate the concept. I was celibate for a long time prior to conception, I wasnt on anything then I had the feelings with my ex and out comes baby. The smart thing is to become celibate again, therefore no birth control, but since I thought that way before, I dont want to bring another baby in this world right now.

I feel as though Im suppressing my body, crazy? I dont know, obviously I cant have more children right now, but it feels so wrong to be suppressing life. I almost feel sad when I get my period, but relief at the same time? I wasnt with my son's father until 7 months after he was born, birth control was needed then, Ive had one encounter with a long term friend once, but thats the extend of my businness for the last 2-3 years.

Is this is just longing for a baby thing, or some kind of separation problem? I gave birth nearly a year ago. I dont have any feelings towards my son except love and adoration, I dont wish he was still in me or anything like that.

who knows, advice please it actually feels good to "type" it all out, its just been floating in my head

[terra-pip]

just a thought:

christiane northrup talks about our period as a time when we feel creative urges. I believe this. I feel this need to withdraw and be alone in my thoughts and find something creative to do around that time and then right after I find myself becomming social again. Our womb is very much the seat of a lot of our creative urges. This was the womens wisdom original meaning behind the cultural practices of menstrual huts.

so possibly you can meditate on that. maybe that empty feeling you feel is a need for some creative outlet in your life? and the sadness at your period feelings as well?