Went on a job interview, can a boss require you to have back up sick childcare?

[CookiePie]

So it went pretty well all except 1 thing in particular that is really bugging me. The prospective employer asked me if I have arranged back up childcare for when my children are sick. I was kinda shocked & didn't know what to say, this is one of the things that DH & I have discussed but not figured out. The kids cannot go to school or daycare when sick & who wants to take care of sick kids that aren't their own? There is no one for me to even ask, not that I could ask that. Plus I wouldn't want someone else caring for them when they are sick. My answer was that I have child care for snow days & school days off but haven't secured childcare for sick children as per the policy of every daycare & school! But when I got home I thought about it & I think DH's boss might be receptive to allowing him to work form home in such an instance. My DH is super conscientious & has been employed at the same company for 16 years, they don't offer sick days at his job, but in the 16 years I think he has had to stay home 3 days for stomach bugs. DH really doesn't want to ask but he also really wants me to get this job to help ease the financial stress that we are currently under. Well the prospective employer left me a voice message today saying that although they planned on making a decision by the end of today (as was indicated to me in the interview yesterday) they are holding more interviews next week & will get back to me by the end of next week. I'm totally qualified for this position, I feel like this is sort of discriminatory in a sense. But otherwise this is a perfect job & I want it. So if DH gets the nerve to talk to his boss I plan to call to let them know that I have secured back up childcare. I really think I would have been hired otherwise! One small side note they offer 4 sick days but encourage you not to take them & have them paid at the end of the year. So they encourage sick employees to come to work & get everyone sick & when it trickles down & our kids catch it we must have someone take care of them. I feel like both of these issues are exactly what is wrong with the work place & making it so hard for both parent to work full time. It is a demanding job where I'd have to be extremely dependable but if I'm stuck to the toilet on either end I'm staying home thank you! A runny nose is one thing.

Talk to me wise mamas!!!

[Irishmommy]

I think it's illegal to ask a question like that. I bet they don't ask men.

[lyterae]

That's crazy! We have primary childcare and I have an emergency back-up(only called when it's extremly dire or if we know that daycare is going to be closed for vacation/training), we don't have any family in the area to watch DD if she is sick. And honestly, if she is sick I would prefer to be the one home with her.

[jennifer413]

It does seem like an odd question. I think suggesting that you'd share the responsibility of caring for you sick kids with your husband seems reasonable to me.

[staceychev]

Originally Posted by Irishmommy

I think it's illegal to ask a question like that. I bet they don't ask men.

[earthmama369]

I'm pretty sure they're not even allowed to ask you if you have kids. They're not supposed to ask about marital/family status, orientation, religion, disabilities, etc.

[The Harpy]

Actually, I am a legal secretary (albiet in Canada) and it isn't illegal for them to ask that at all. To be honest, they are entitled to be aware if you have back up childcare otherwise you are potentially looking at an employee who is going to have unreliable attendance and that is a risk most employers are not willing to take.

Think of it from the employers POV, if you hired an employee, you expect that occasionally that employee will be sick. Now, if you hire an employee, she has 3 kids, and no back up sick care, she could feasibly be off for upwards of a week caring for 3 kids who get sick from school 2-3 times per winter... which means you have an employee not there for 2-3 weeks just in the winter, not to mention during the other months.

And yes, my spouse has been asked the exact same question, and I have asked new secretaries that exact same question myself when doing interviews....

[kindchen]

Originally Posted by The Harpy

Actually, I am a legal secretary (albiet in Canada) and it isn't illegal for them to ask that at all. To be honest, they are entitled to be aware if you have back up childcare otherwise you are potentially looking at an employee who is going to have unreliable attendance and that is a risk most employers are not willing to take.

Think of it from the employers POV, if you hired an employee, you expect that occasionally that employee will be sick. Now, if you hire an employee, she has 3 kids, and no back up sick care, she could feasibly be off for upwards of a week caring for 3 kids who get sick from school 2-3 times per winter... which means you have an employee not there for 2-3 weeks just in the winter, not to mention during the other months.

And yes, my spouse has been asked the exact same question, and I have asked new secretaries that exact same question myself when doing interviews....

Wow, I'm surprised that Canada's laws do so little to protect potential employees from questions irrelevant to the applicant's ability to perform the duties of the job.

OP, I can't tell from your post where you are located, so I'll assume the U.S. Those questions are absolutely illegal here. They may not legally ask you about your marital status or whether or not you have children, because those questions are not relevant to whether or not you will be able to fulfill the duties the job requires.

If you end up having excessive absences for any reason, your employer could probably fire you for that down the road.

For future reference, you might want to consider not volunteering personal information irrelevant to the job during interviews. (I'm not saying you did--just that many do.) When asked an illegal question, try to respond with something like, "I am fully committed to meeting the requirement of the job regarding (travel, absences, whatever)."

ETA: Here is a link to the US Dept of the Interior regarding legal vs. illegal interview questions.

http://www.doi.gov/hrm/pmanager/st13c4.html

[CookiePie]

Legal or not it just seems wrong. You could never prove that you weren't hired due to this, they'd just say it wasn't that & say that it the other applicant was better suited fo the job. How the heck can a Mom get a professional job if she can't find someone to care for her sick kids? I mean seriously if you don't have a grandma or aunty willing & able to take care of your kids when they are puking their guts out then how do you find a good job? This job could really help us! I'm so frusterated. DH hasn't called so I don't image he has asked his boss. MDC mama's there you go there is a business for you, stay at home sick childcare charge big bucks! HUMPH!!!

[CookiePie]

Originally Posted by kindchen

Wow, I'm surprised that Canada's laws do so little to protect potential employees from questions irrelevant to the applicant's ability to perform the duties of the job.

OP, I can't tell from your post where you are located, so I'll assume the U.S. Those questions are absolutely illegal here. They may not legally ask you about your marital status or whether or not you have children, because those questions are not relevant to whether or not you will be able to fulfill the duties the job requires.

If you end up having excessive absences for any reason, your employer could probably fire you for that down the road.

For future reference, you might want to consider not volunteering personal information irrelevant to the job during interviews. (I'm not saying you did--just that many do.) When asked an illegal question, try to respond with something like, "I am fully committed to meeting the requirement of the job regarding (travel, absences, whatever)."

ETA: Here is a link to the US Dept of the Interior regarding legal vs. illegal interview questions.

http://www.doi.gov/hrm/pmanager/st13c4.html

I did volunteer the info to explain the lapse in my work history, had a baby then worked part time, blah blah.... Anyway I never thought it could be used against me. I would never pursue it legally, however I want the job!!!

[lolar2]

2 answers: They shouldn't ask you if you have backup child care. They can insist on strict attendance, limit your sick days, etc. but it is up to you to make that work, KWIM?

However, you should have some backup sick child care. There are babysitters who are happy to watch a child with, say, pinkeye, where the child feels fine but isn't allowed to go back to daycare yet. I failed to arrange for backup sick child care in the past and the results were not pretty.

[cchrissyy]

Originally Posted by CookiePie

I did volunteer the info to explain the lapse in my work history, had a baby then worked part time, blah blah...

ok, but even once it's brought up that you have children, if they ask anything intrusive about your personal childcare situation, you really don't owe them an answer. Practice some brief replies for next time so your interview won't get derailed. It's none of the employer's business if you happen to have grandma living with you, or a husband working at home, a special nanny just for sick days, a different stranger coming to babysit every day of the week, or nothing figured out yet. Whatever the answer is, you do NOT owe them the explanation, it is NOT a valid topic of discussion. I'd probably just say "yes it's covered" or "that won't be an issue" and let your tone convey there is nothing further to discuss in that area.

[Ellien C]

Originally Posted by The Harpy

Actually, I am a legal secretary (albiet in Canada) and it isn't illegal for them to ask that at all. To be honest, they are entitled to be aware if you have back up childcare otherwise you are potentially looking at an employee who is going to have unreliable attendance and that is a risk most employers are not willing to take.

I think here they are entitled to ask you if there is anything that will prevent your from showing up to work reliably and on-time every day. But it's sexist to ask "the woman" if she has back-up childcare. Employees who do not have reliable transport themselves, ee's who may need to care for elderly parents, ee's with chronic health conditions (or alcoholism or depression etc) are all at risk for not being able to show-up on time to work. You can ask a general reliability Q, but not a specific question re: childcare. Indeed - do they ask men this question?

[HappyMommy2]

If I were you, I would call or email with extra assurances of PLENTY of backup childcare. Say three things, your hubby, your mom, your MIL. Exaggerate the truth, even. Say whatever you need to, in order to make him comfortable that you won't be out all the time.

Then, you can start looking around. And DH should understand that for at least the first 6mo, it will fall on him.

[EFmom]

I doubt it's legal, but good luck going down that route.

What this would say to me is that if my kid gets sick, this place is going to be a major PIA if I need to take the day off. I've never found back up sick child care. If the child is sick, typically they need their parent, not some stranger. Now, I am normally one of those people who comes to work unless I am too sick to get out of bed. But taking care of sick kids is different.

[sanguine_speed]

Originally Posted by The Harpy

Actually, I am a legal secretary (albiet in Canada) and it isn't illegal for them to ask that at all. To be honest, they are entitled to be aware if you have back up childcare otherwise you are potentially looking at an employee who is going to have unreliable attendance and that is a risk most employers are not willing to take.



And yes, my spouse has been asked the exact same question, and I have asked new secretaries that exact same question myself when doing interviews....

It is illegal in Canada.
This link specifically states that questions about child care arrangements are illegal:
http://www.careerlinkbc.com/interview04.html

More specifically, "What are your child care arrangements?" is illegal. You should stop. It is discrimination on the basis of family status, a status that is protected under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

[meandmine]

Ok, so illegal in both countries to ask. Strike one against potential employer.

And, I would NOT work for a company that asked or had that attitude.

I presume your dh's co has leave and a person can use it as sick or vacation. Presumably you will have leave at your job -- to be used if ill or on vacation?

Maybe not all companies allow sick leave to care for sick family members, but companies worth working for do.

I would encourage you to find a better potential employer.

M

[meemee]

well as much as i am PO as a woman and as a mother and the fact that its illegal...

... i can understand why they did.

in fact if anything else i would be so glad they asked.

because i would know that's definitely a company i dont want to work for.

they dont sound they would be v. supportive to parents. be it male or female taking time off for sick kids too.

and having worked for both types of companies, i would much rather of course choose the child friendly one. the non child friendly ones put sooooo much pressure on you. actually you stress yourself out taking leave wondering if it looks good or not.

[CookiePie]

DH didn't talk to his boss he couldn't find the right moment yesterday but he plans on talking to him early next week, I was planning on calling & letting them know if DH's boss ok's him to work from home. But I am questioning working for someone who is so strict about family illness.

Even if I make it over this obstacle there is another. I'm maiden of honor in my bf's wedding in Nov. I already have my flight & hotel booked & I wouldn't, couldn't miss this for the world. So if offered this position I still have to clear the 3 days off I'd need in Nov. I'm feeling they aren't going to be flexible at all in this situation. It was clear that vacation is to be taken when the boss takes his. So I'm putting it out of me head for now, if I don't get this it just wasn't meant for me. Thanks for all the support I knew that my feelings were just. It just sucks that this is the way it is!

[Carita]

don't forget cookie, if you do get the job, you can clear those vaca days as part of your acceptance offer. i did the same once when i was given a job and already had OOT travel planned. they said it was no problem.

rude of them to ask about childcare, not just illegal. if you don't get the job, can you report them?