So my dad and his wife are here visiting from the US for a week. They have 2 kids together (ages 6yo and 19mo). My baby is 11 weeks old. This evening my dad was here and witnessed a little naptime drama, namely that Max (my baby) had been a bit overstimulated today and would not go down for his early evening nap. After trying to help him sleep for about 30 mins unsuccessfully, we came back out and said it's not happening, too bad. Then it happened:
My dad asked if we'd ever tried just letting him "fall asleep on his own" and even if that meant letting him cry alone up to 1/2 hour. I was quite clear and firm and told him I'd rather have 1000 sleepless nights than do that. I used the old "that won't work for our family" line. He of course told the tale of their friends (who didn't use CIO) whose lives were practically ruined by sleepless babies, and how well it "works" to help the poor baby find the sleep they need...almost as if not doing it was cruel and depriving the baby of much-needed sleep. He then changed the subject, but I changed it back just to reiterate that we will not ever do that so please don't try to convince us. He was pretty receptive, and I know he and my mom did not do CIO w/me and my brother, so he's not that gung-ho about it. His wife, however, is arriving tomorrow and I feel scared to even discuss sleep with her because I know she'll try to convince me to do CIO. And she's much more authoritative about this kind of thing than my dad is. It's also hard to make my point because CIO people feel so convinced, because from a certain standpoint (getting the baby to fall asleep alone and sleep through) it does seem to work...that is, ignoring completely the effect it truly has on the child. Then here I am, struggling to get my baby down for naps.
I love my dad a lot, and I consider his wife to be like a sister to me...but the kind of sister you love a lot and get on well with but are totally different from. I generally respect them as parents and they do make some wise parenting choices and I have gotten good advice from both of them. But this CIO thing is non-negotiable. I can, have and will set my limits on this, but I'm just seeking support because I know some if not many of you have been through similar things with parents, in-laws, etc. If you have any words of wisdom, both for emotional support and specific things like what you say exactly, I could use it about now. I don't want to argue it with them, I didn't even tell my dad why we won't do CIO, just that we wouldn't. But I know his wife will be pretty much like "Well okay then, brace yourself for a few rough years then", totally convinced she's right. *sigh*
My dad asked if we'd ever tried just letting him "fall asleep on his own" and even if that meant letting him cry alone up to 1/2 hour. I was quite clear and firm and told him I'd rather have 1000 sleepless nights than do that. I used the old "that won't work for our family" line. He of course told the tale of their friends (who didn't use CIO) whose lives were practically ruined by sleepless babies, and how well it "works" to help the poor baby find the sleep they need...almost as if not doing it was cruel and depriving the baby of much-needed sleep. He then changed the subject, but I changed it back just to reiterate that we will not ever do that so please don't try to convince us. He was pretty receptive, and I know he and my mom did not do CIO w/me and my brother, so he's not that gung-ho about it. His wife, however, is arriving tomorrow and I feel scared to even discuss sleep with her because I know she'll try to convince me to do CIO. And she's much more authoritative about this kind of thing than my dad is. It's also hard to make my point because CIO people feel so convinced, because from a certain standpoint (getting the baby to fall asleep alone and sleep through) it does seem to work...that is, ignoring completely the effect it truly has on the child. Then here I am, struggling to get my baby down for naps.
I love my dad a lot, and I consider his wife to be like a sister to me...but the kind of sister you love a lot and get on well with but are totally different from. I generally respect them as parents and they do make some wise parenting choices and I have gotten good advice from both of them. But this CIO thing is non-negotiable. I can, have and will set my limits on this, but I'm just seeking support because I know some if not many of you have been through similar things with parents, in-laws, etc. If you have any words of wisdom, both for emotional support and specific things like what you say exactly, I could use it about now. I don't want to argue it with them, I didn't even tell my dad why we won't do CIO, just that we wouldn't. But I know his wife will be pretty much like "Well okay then, brace yourself for a few rough years then", totally convinced she's right. *sigh*
.
This is what works for our family, and I'm doing fine with it. He won't be little forever. Would you like some bean dip?"
