Am I really THAT weird?

[AFWife]

A little background: We're a single car family and it's not possible for DH to commute to work any other way. He works 5 days a week. He has to leave here about 6am. We have a 16mo that usually sleeps until at least 8am. I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant.

So, MIL comes to visit this week (well, she came to clean my house because it was stressing me out...and I've been bleeding and my MW told me I need rest to get over a yeast infection) and at one point she asked, "What's the plan for tomorrow?" We'd been basically in the house the previous days and I replied, "More of the same." The look she gave me was weird...kind of like, "Seriously????" She said something about my needing to get out more.

*sigh* Well, here's the thing...if I get up to take DH to work it throws off DS's whole day. He'll nap at weird times (if he naps at all) and he'll be extra cranky. Plus, I'm so tired lately that getting up that early would throw ME off as well. We don't have a lot of disposable income so it's not like I could just GO and do something. It's August in Texas (read: 95F by 11am most days) so stuff outside doesn't really work. DS would be fine but I overheat so easily these days. Plus, we tried the park one weekend and the equipment was so hot it was impossible to play on. AND anything free in this town is geared toward children 4+.

This is where my title makes sense: I don't mind just hanging out at home during the day. If I need to go to the store I plan in advance (like, if I need something for dinner Tues night we go Mon evening) and DH goes with me. If I just need to get out of the house (as happens) it's usually on the weekend and, again, DH is home and goes with us.

It's not the first time she's implied that I need to do something other than stay at home. And well...she's not the first, either. Am I really that odd?

[Nazsmum]

No your not odd at all. My neighbor is the same. She is home like you.

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
If you are truly comfortable and happy at home, then I say it's fine. I, on the other hand, tend to go nutso at home all day, but that is just me.
We're in Texas, too, and it is wayyyy to hot to do anything outdoors here other than go to the pool.....
~maddymama

[laughymama]

I am the same way. In fact, I don't even have a license and my driving skills (if you could call them that) are not even close to acceptable.

I stay at home. Sometimes we will have a visitor and sometimes maybe one evening (sometimes two) a week DS and I will spend the time my DH is at work at my parents' house.

Really, I am content. If I want/need to get out then I make plans and do so. I tell DH, my mom watches DS and I will call up a friend or use the free time to walk to the store/coffee shop we live near.

Day to day though, I am very satisfied with staying at home. We have a loose routine but if it's interrupted and nap time is interfered with then it makes an "outing" not even worth it. It's more of a hassle than anything.
We have very limited disposable income as well and frankly, I like being at home.

I'm very social and love our friends and people. I love having fun just as much as the next person but as a parent and a spouse running the home, I'm more happy to stay in than I am to try to get out and do activities each day outside the home.

Maybe I'm just a homebody but that's okay with me. I think if YOU are content and satisfied then it's working well for you. Not weird and you're not alone in that.

[Drummer's Wife]

I don't think it's weird, if you are okay with it. We have had one vehicle at times during my almost 10 years as a SAHM and I preferred the days when we didn't have to take DH to work b/c we needed to be somewhere. I was fine with being home, and for the most part, my children were, too.

Your MIL might just be someone who needs to get out more, or thinks others are happier when they leave at least once a day - I know SAHM's who would have cabin fever after 2 days home; I am fine with not going anywhere from one weekend until the next (now, that doesn't happen b/c I have four kids).

At some point, especially with 2 LO's, you might crave getting out and about more often - even if it's just to storytime at the library - but I imagine you'll get a second vehicle or take DH to work then.

[blessedmama59]

I don't think you're weird at all. I would much rather stay home. I save most of my outings for when my fiance is home so we can go together. We may go to the farmer's market or park once a week or so, but that's about it. I am just an introvert and with a 15 month old, traveling or having a social life is difficult, to say the least. I completely understand it throwing your entire schedule or routine off. I just like being at home with my family, it's comfy.

[MichaelsSahm]

OMG This is funny because I was just going to start a thread to see if I was weird!!
I don't know how to drive and I don't have a license! Long story short. I immigrated from Holland to America 9 years ago to be with my husband and there I never needed a license.
Even if I did have a license we'd be a one car family!
I enjoy being at home too. My son is 7 goes to school with the bus. Hubby picks up what we need and if I need to get out of the house I usually go for walks, garden etc. I can walk to a store if I wanted to, but I only do that during winter. I am in phoenix!
I can get rides from friends who offer it. I am very social during the weekends mostly because most of my friends work!

People think I am weird, and I am ok with that. Think what you want!

[happyhats]

I'm pretty similar. Sometimes I wish we could go out more since dd has her hyper toddler moments, but for the most part I'm comfy staying home and doing our outings as a family. I figure I'll probably need to get out more solo once dd becomes school age since we'll be homeschooling and doing homeschooling groups, etc. But by that point we'll hopefully be able to afford two stable vehicles too.

[princesstutu]

Not weird at all! It's called being a homebody. At least, it used to be called that. They rename everything these days.

[1jooj]

From a working mom in a multi-car family, nope. You're not weird at all.

Dh and I have always each had our own car, and when I was a SAHM, I preferred to truly stay home when dh was at work. I did the household stuff during that time. In warmer months, I'd pack up ds (and later dd) in either the stroller or the bike trailer and we'd "hit the town" (park, library, pool) that way. Those were the best days.

Now that I am back to working (PT), I try to make sure there are at least a couple days a week when I don't go anywhere--especially when the kids are in school. It's so good to have quiet, home-centered time. It allows me to do a lot of the more traditional home-keeping things I like to do. It enables me to be tuned in to the cyclical aspects of our life and home. I like it.

I personally feel drained when I don't get this opportunity. This summer has been an example of that, and I know both the kids and I are less peaceful and restful when we are out daily in the car. I have been working out at the Y, which now means a drive, and while I need the workout time, I do miss the restfulness of days not driving anywhere.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. It is only odd to those who live otherwise.

[Magali]

No not weird! I even have access to a vehicle and we spend most of our time at home. Now that my ds is 3, I think it is important that we get out a bit more often, just so he can get a bit of interaction with others and excersise. But we didn't start that until a few months ago. And fwiw, my son is such a friendly, great little guy you wouldn't know that he hasn't "gotten out" very much. In fact, I was visiting with a cousin a few weeks ago who stays at home also and has a son the same age. The boys got along so well and we were commenting about how even though they don't get out much you would never know it by how they act.

[hotmamacita]

Originally Posted by AFWife

A little background: We're a single car family and it's not possible for DH to commute to work any other way. He works 5 days a week. He has to leave here about 6am. We have a 16mo that usually sleeps until at least 8am. I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant.

So, MIL comes to visit this week (well, she came to clean my house because it was stressing me out...and I've been bleeding and my MW told me I need rest to get over a yeast infection) and at one point she asked, "What's the plan for tomorrow?" We'd been basically in the house the previous days and I replied, "More of the same." The look she gave me was weird...kind of like, "Seriously????" She said something about my needing to get out more.

*sigh* Well, here's the thing...if I get up to take DH to work it throws off DS's whole day. He'll nap at weird times (if he naps at all) and he'll be extra cranky. Plus, I'm so tired lately that getting up that early would throw ME off as well. We don't have a lot of disposable income so it's not like I could just GO and do something. It's August in Texas (read: 95F by 11am most days) so stuff outside doesn't really work. DS would be fine but I overheat so easily these days. Plus, we tried the park one weekend and the equipment was so hot it was impossible to play on. AND anything free in this town is geared toward children 4+.

This is where my title makes sense: I don't mind just hanging out at home during the day. If I need to go to the store I plan in advance (like, if I need something for dinner Tues night we go Mon evening) and DH goes with me. If I just need to get out of the house (as happens) it's usually on the weekend and, again, DH is home and goes with us.

It's not the first time she's implied that I need to do something other than stay at home. And well...she's not the first, either. Am I really that odd?

No you are not weird. I stayed home all the time when my kids were infants and we only had one car for the longest time.

I would suggest to my MIL that she drop DH off at work and bring the car home. Then you all can go out for one outing when YOU are up for it.

[CherryBomb]

I don't think it's weird. We only have one car, too, but dh works thirds, so I do have it during the day. I prefer to be at home rather than running around, personally.

[AFWife]

Thank you for the replies! At least I know that if I am weird I'm not weird alone! :P

[lolar2]

I'm in Texas, too. I am actually a student but I'm not taking classes this summer so I'm temporarily sah-ing. Anyway, if you are that weird, so are we and so are all of our neighbors, because I don't think any of us have left the house except to go to work or to go to some kind of errand or special event, over the past three weeks. It's just too hot. If your MIL doesn't back off, tell her that you are really feeling the heat what with being pregnant but that she is welcome to take your older child(ren?) on an outing while you rest at home in the a/c.

[lookatreestar]

i think it is hard for people who are the "on the go" to understand. i am a homebody most of the time but really with two kids, i have to have a car. my dh works 15 hour days sometimes and i need to be able to get up and go if my kids are driving me nuts. my kids usually sleep in the car so that is some quiet time, plus with them in car seats they can't hit/bite/pinch/push each other. but do we "need" to go anywhere, not really.

[onyxravnos]

if you are fine staying home and you don't feel stressed or cabin fever-ish then stay home. you don't HAVE to go out.

on a side note should you start getting weird and needing to get out there are always, buses, cabs, friends with cars, walk, etc. You Choose not to and that's just fine.

[shells_n_cheese]

Not weird. There are many SAHM's that literally stay home and love it. I was literally at home all day too, for a while. We were a single car family for 4years. We always lived in-town though, so I could walk everywhere and still run errands or meet with friends for playdates. etc. It was great, actually.

2 years ago, we moved to a more rural area. I was going insane stuck home all day. We since got me a car, and it has been much better.

But if you are fine with it -- don't worry about what anybody else thinks. If you're happy, kids are happy, who cares!

[clutterwarrior]

I am a real homebody too...it's funny because sometimes I feel like I need to justify that, not sure why though!

I love to potter around and do stuff, fix things nicely, do the cleaning...do some scrapbooking. I have the internet to chat so don't get lonely!

I do drive and I like to go to the shops once a week, however if I go more than that I find it too tiring.

[PoetryLover]

I prefer to be home, as well. We're also a single car family and it's just too hard to get up early enough to leave by 6 to bring DH to work. I live within walking distance of many things. And I sometimes get out for coffee or a walk with DH & DS in the evening. I usually try to get out a little on the weekend, as well. But I'm fairly content at home. My exception is during the summers when I have my older DSDs because they NEED to get out of the house almost daily or they are climbing the walls. I usually take them to do something small (the library, park, pool, museum, etc.) once a day, sometimes skipping a day. But if I had a big house with a yard, I wouldn't feel obligated to go out with them on a daily basis. I would still do things with them, but not things that involve leaving the house every.single.day. Too much busyness drives me batty. LOL (And I find they come to expect daily excursions and get a 'tude when I'm not in the mood.) It's hard with a baby, though. Outings interfere with his naps and cranky babes are no fun to take out in public.