changes and ages

[jeteaa]

I'm currently a sahm to 4 and 6 yr old dds. I'm so frustrated w/ myself in how my outlook has changed as my dc have aged. When dd1 was nearing toddlerhood, and people were advising I look into preschools a year in advance to get her into a good one, dh and I thought about hsing and LOVED the idea. So we hsed for preschool (if you can really call it hsing at that age).... so we planned on hsing rather than any traditional school. Well, here we are at 4 and 6 and I'm soooo burned out with hsing. I never realized how expensive kid classes are. Our budget just can't stretch far enough to really benefit from all the free time this kids have (more so when they are older). So here I am thinking I would sah and hs for years to come.... and I'm completely changing my mind, enrolling myself in PT classes to do paralegal work, and my dc will be going to school. UGH! life would have been some much easier if I KNEW what I know now 6 years ago, I would have cherished being a sahm ( not that I don't), but put them in preschool a few hrs/week to prepare them better for school and tried to keep my work skills current....

[Natalie12]

I can understand how you feel. I have similar aged kids, almost 6 and 4. My 4 year old is an extremely spirited child, and it took me a while to embrace that. I wish I hadn't stressed so much when she was younger, and just accepted her for who she is.

I also tried homeschooling, but I discovered that the kids and myself are much happier with school. The only advice that I can give is trite but true: enjoy where you are in life now.

For me, taking that to heart has been wonderful.

[Drummer's Wife]

I've changed my feelings over the years, too. I think it's normal. I have been a SAHM for almost 10 years now (my kids are 9, 7, 5, and 3). I really enjoyed it when they were small - I am very much a baby person. My oldest was homeschooled for Kindergarten, and at that point I thought I could be a SAHM and homeschool all the kids forever. She ended up in Montessori for first grade, and my 2nd child started pre-k. I was still content as a SAHM, just decided HS'ing, at that point, wasn't for us (I can imagine us doing so in the future, possibly). Anyhow, I am now a college student - have been taking online courses for the past year - and start on-campus classes this month. All four of my kids are going to school full-time (Montessori), even the 3 yr old. So, I will be a SAHM w/o the kids here as well as a college student (classes 2-3 days a week). I think for our family, this will be really good. I imagine myself working part-time in a few years, maybe even full-time at some point. Funny, b/c like I said, there was a time when I thought I would forever be a SAHM, and had no desire to do anything else. Now, I love school, and want a career someday.

Totally agree with enjoying life where you are right now. I actually want another baby or two, and can see myself staying at home for another couple years if that ever happens - so who knows what life will bring. In some ways, it helps that we started having kids at a young age (20/21) b/c I feel like we still have plenty of time to go to school, work, stay home, whatever - depending on how life is going.