Searching for the perfect toddler parenting book for DH

[physmom]

So DH has FINALLY said he'll read a parenting book! Basically, long story short we agree pretty much on everything when DD was young but now that she's trying to claim her independence it's been a lot more difficult and we haven't always seen eye to eye on everything. I know there are other book threads and I've read a number of them. For me that's fine but he only wants to read ONE book so I'm hoping that some of you who have read all these different books can help me know what one would be the best for him and includes these basic things:

-What is typical in toddler years (not so much milestones, things more like hitting phases, poor pronunciations, tantrums over little things, constant messes, etc.)

-Basic idea of AP, why it's done and what it looks like in the toddler years (specifically when it comes to discipline and how to interact with a child... stuff like extended nursing and cosleeping are really not issues around here)

-Suggestions on how to deal with tough situations in a positive manner

I know I've heard good things about the following books:
Playful Parenting
"Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort.
The secret lives of toddlers : a parent's guide to the wonderful, terrible, fascinating behavior of children ages 1 to 3
And I'm sure Sears has a book or two for this age group

So what do you think if you just had ONE book that you'd hand over to my DH to read what would it be????????

[spmamma]

My DD was very high needs and has grown into a very spirited toddler. If you have a child who is more intense, energetic, sensitive, etc. than most "normal" kids than I highly recommend Raising Your Spirited Child. I know it's not a toddler development book but it has really saved my sanity this past year!

[NorthernPixie]

I haven't read a lot to compare one to another, but the Sears Gentle Discipline one is ok...but I really prefer the Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hilary Flower, it's a LLL publication but widely available. It's pretty mother-centred but if he could get past that and think of it as 'primary care-giver' centred it should be fine. I haven't read anything else though so I'll take note of suggestions and see what my husband will read too!

[twinergy]

I'm wondering your DH's reasons for agreeing to ONLY one book. If he is not a reader, perhaps he would agree to listening to more audiobooks in addition to reading one book. I have found just about every author recommended in this forum available through the library, but have to request things shipped in from other libraries on loan. There is a network, called WorldCat of nearly 70,000 libraries worldwide that share resources, if you library isn't connected you can request they join. I have never been charged shipping if I order from a library in the US (my country) but was charged a small shipping fee when I ordered from Canada.


I agree that Dr Sears book is ok. His writing style is very wordy and it takes some reading through long analogies to get to his message. Admittedly I only read the first 100 pages then put it down to move on to something better. Having read it when my kids were 2 1/2, I found much of what I read geared more toward 1 year olds so maybe I would have a better review of it if I had read it earlier. It had many useful tools for that age group and described 1 year olds' behavior quite well.

My favorite book has been Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser. What I like about this book is that it concicely gives real life examples rather than theory and discipline strategies targeted toward toddlers/preschoolers. Their discipline toolbox is summarized in 13 pages 226-239 so you might get him to agree to reading this in addition to one book. Maybe even photocopy it and give it to him so it doesn't feel like reading a book. My favorite sections of the book are part 2 on feelings, part 4 on difficult behavior and chapters 23-24 on social learning and I think would cover what you would like your DH to read.

If he would read the best parts of 2 books, then I would suggest starting with Parenting with Purpose by Lynda Madison. It is out of print so I got it from the library and cant reference the exact pages for you (maybe pp 20ish - 100ish, but it has the best section I have read on understanding young children's perspective. It is in the beginning of the book and describes walkers (1 year olds) and talkers (2 and/or 3 year olds.)

ETA: I just found Parenting with Purpose on Amazon at a reasonable price and ordered it because I think my DH should read it as well. It will take a few days, but when I get it I will let you know the exact pages I'm talking about.

ETA 2: here are some links for Becoming the Parent
http://www.becomingtheparent.com/all/subsection21.html
http://www.becomingtheparent.com/all/subsection12.html
http://www.becomingtheparent.com/all/subsection12.html

[twinergy]

I forgot... I've also read Playful Parenting and most of the examples are for children 3 and older. So maybe if you can get your DH to read another book next year this would be a good one. Here is a preview that was about 50 pages last time I counted. It is enough to get the general idea, in my opinion the rest of the book is a little redundant but gives some fun examples to read.
http://books.google.com/books?id=4_v...page&q&f=false