conflict during exchanges

[chatsalot]

stbx refuses to either allow me to hand our child over to him or give the child back to me in my arms during exchanges. He has attempted to take hthe child from my arms, force his way into my vehicle to "grab" the child and force the child into my vehicle so he didn't have to physically hand the child to me.

Keep in mind this has all been done in a police station parking lot. Is this considered domestic violence and enough to get a PO issued? I have LM with an attorney but I called the domestic violence hotline and they say yes.. j/c what you ladies think?

I am extremely concerned that his behavior is having an effect on our child. When the child saw him, immediately started crying and had a worried look on their face and did not want to go with him. I think what he is doing is quite harmful to our child

[MommatoAandA]

Yeah, that is not right and if its upsetting your LO and he cannot be civil in front of LO then you need to do something about it. I agree its abusive. Sorry mama, sounds yucky. ((HUGS))

[Mummoth]

It sounds like he's trying to get under your skin, at the very least, but it sounds like the sort of thing a judge would look at & call it petty arguing, and lay the blame at both of your feet. could see them going "Why can't the child be taken out of/put into the carseat by his/her dad? and ordering that to be the exchange point. I'd try to move the exchange point away from your car, so stbx doesn't have the option of invading your space anymore.

How old is your child? If he/she is old enough to is up, you could find a bench in the station and make that your exchange point. Sit him/her on the bench next to you, so stbx can pick him/her up from there, and then stbx can put him/her down next to him on the bench when it's time for you to pick him/her up. Maybe you could buy a cheap umbrella stroller to have him/her in, and the child can be exchanged in that? Would stbx bring it back to the meeting point at drop-off time?


It might help to describe the problem and solution in an email or in a letter, so you have documentation of your attempts to resolve the situation on your own. Once you have documentation, then it'll be easier to get an order if it's still needed.

[cycle]

Do you have an officer out in the parking lot with you during the exchange? If not I would do that going forward. Having a police officer there may make your ex behave.

[One_Girl]

Can you exchange inside the station? That may take some of the fight out of this situation.

[chatsalot]

the child is only 16 months old

[chatsalot]

Originally Posted by cycle

Do you have an officer out in the parking lot with you during the exchange? If not I would do that going forward. Having a police officer there may make your ex behave.

i spoke with the attorney they suggested i have the officer present from now on