I'm starting to realize why some of you celebrate

[Everrgreen]

When I first started lurking here I couldn't believe that many of you celebrated your final separations/divorces. But I think I get it now! I saw my stbx last night and today in person so he could see our son and we could finally figure out what we want in the separation agreement. And while he was here, I realized that he is such a jerk. Not about the separation agreement, not to me, just in general as a human being. I don't like him, he's really annoying. I know for sure he wasn't always like this, he has definitely changed in the past year. But I just really feel like I'm soooo done with him. I don't want him back. I don't care that he is with someone else (that's her problem!). I am so glad to be free of him and able to move on and meet someone really awesome! It does bother me that I have to share my son with him, especially because I don't think he's a good role model and he has virtually no parenting skills. BUT, I will have sole custody and he will have weekly visits, eventually leading to eow, so not too terrible.

And I am so ready to get the stupid separation agreement finalized and signed and then be totally free

[mama_ani]

It's a really good place to be!

[Roxanne600]

I know that once my divorce is finalized, I will definitely be going out to celebrate!

[vannienicole]

I am on the very last last last leg of mine and can't wait.

[meemee]

Gillian something about dad. no matter what kind of a dad he is as long as he is making an effort to see his son and interact that is really really good for your son. as long as he is not abusive or showing up drunk or drugged. there is a thread on TAO about divorce and one of the things most moms wrote out there they suffered the most is coz one parent moved away and the other parent became completely absent from their life.

i hope he continues to be present in your son's life.

also most dad's like dd's are not intuitive parents. they really have to work at it. and most of them really struggle till about the kids are 3 years old or really verbal adn able to express themselves very well.

but yeah!!!!!!! i am sooooo glad you get it. that is the first step to healing and glorious single mother hood.

[Everrgreen]

Thanks all.

For the longest time I was feeling so desperate for our marriage to somehow work, despite how awful he was acting. But I guess seeing him yesterday just made me realize I don't want to be with him, he is so different now, and so different from me and my values. And I am sooo ready to move on. I still feel hurt and anger over what he did and grief over the loss of the person he used to be. But it isn't overwhelming me. And I know I don't want to put any more energy into our relationship.

And I am rational enough at this point to know that my DS needs his father. And I think stbx has the potential to be someone positive in DS's life. Thankfully DS is too young to remember this past year, so that gives stbx a chance to redeem himself, which he says he wants to do. I am actually really hoping that my stbx can stick to the visitation plan he says he wants. As it is, DS doesn't really have a relationship with him, he hasn't been an involved parent since DS was about 3 months old.

But anyway, I'm moving on and I am so excited about my new future

[Phoenix~Mama]

I am so happy to see this post from you!! When you reach the point of feeling more free, it's definitely a happy moment.