AHHH! Such a failure w/ DD #2!

[covertlycrunchy]

I successfully ec'd dd#1 at about 7 months. Several wees outside potty but almost no poos. DD #2 is a totally different story, she was happy to pee from birth but only once and awhile. Right now she is almost 2 and screams anytime I mention the word "potty" to her. I think it is because we would leave her on the potty while we were chasing her older sister around. We thought it would be fine to give her more time to go pee/poo, less pressure ya know? But I think she thought she was being abandoned .

What do I do now?? How do I get the potty to be something she *wants*? I'm really sick of diapers and don't want to wait much longer to pt her. I've tried nakkie time but she just wees on the floor or we wind up playing "find the poop". Not cool. <sigh> I've tried singing to her but she dances to the song w/o actually going on the potty. I'm very frustrated. Please help.

[heatherr30]

Reading a book worked great for us, if your problem is getting her to actually sit on the potty you might try something like that.
If your problem is that she will sit on it but not actually go.... well I would reward her anyway just for sitting, and maybe say cheerfully "oh well, you didn't need to go". then bring her back in 10-15 min and try again (not all day but just when you think she needs to go).
If you have her sitting there every 10-15 min during key times, you are bound to get some hits... then just make a big deal out of it and hopefully she will get it. If you offer something fun enough, she may agree to go to the potty that often.
If it's turned into a power struggle however then you might have to just back off for a while till the focus is on something else... then try again when she's feeling less stubborn about it.

[pixiepunk]

first of all, you are *not* a failure! i've EC'd 3 kids and it has been *very* different with each of them, just like parenting them in general has been. they are each individuals and have different wants and needs, and even if you hadn't EC'd at all they would've been different in the way they approached the potty during PL'ing. there's no sense stressing about what's already happened, so just put the past behind you and focus on right now.

how verbal is she? could you have a conversation with her about what she doesn't like about the potty? maybe she has some ideas herself that can make it a more enjoyable experience? let her know that you want to help her to stay clean and comfortable, and that you need her to help you figure out how best to do that. should we just do diapers right now and not worry about the potty? would you like to try and go potty when DD1/mama/papa go to the potty? would you like to play with a toy/read a book/etc while we potty? if her answer to all of it is "no potty" then i don't think there's a lot to be done but give her some time off.

and do not feel bad about using diapers/trainers if misses on the floor are stressing you out. i have never been into dealing with that, and it's always been my approach to use backup so that a miss is a shrug and a change and go on about my way. cleaning up the floor stresses me, so i just don't let it happen.

i personally don't agree with incentives beyond a book or a toy. bribes and conventional PT'ing are things i was trying to avoid by doing EC. so i wouldn't do stickers or treats to encourage the potty, personally. but if that feels like something that might work or that you want to try, don't worry about what i think, you know just throwing my 2 cents in there