<<<First, as was already said, it is like trying to educate someone about road safety when they've just been hit by a bus. They are busy dealing with something else.
Second, I understand from my schooling in education, people can't learn when their brains are being impacted by a chemical reaction to fear, humilitation, shame, etc. This is NOT a "teachable moment.">>>
This. Wow. I'm really laughing at the idea of pretending to be a doctor. Number one, if you did this to me - I'd probably spot you out. I'm married to a doctor. I'd ask you questions you probably wouldn't be able to answer on the fly and then I'd possibly try to find out who you were so I could report you. It is illegal in my state to impersonate professionals with legal licenses.
And then I'd get another giggle at you because I've met real pediatricians who thought breastmilk was bad for toddlers since it wasn't sterile and that co-sleeping would smother my baby and that if it didn't smother the baby, the child would be far too "attached" to us. We have a pediatrician we do love but I take her advice with a grain of salt. Heck, I take EVERYONE'S advice with a grain of salt.
That's not a teachable moment since you have no control on the outcome like others have said. You have no idea if you actually made things worse for all the people you've "intervened" with.
I think the best response that has ever worked for me was when I was grocery shopping with my kids. They were like 3 and 2. And they were being relatively "good" (as good as tired toddlers cane be). There was another mom shopping opposite to me. (She was going down the aisles backwards - why do people do that!?
) And we met each other in every aisle. Her child was starting to act up halfway through. And I watched her get more and more peeved.
We checked out together. Our cars were close to each other and then her kid did that tantrum-y thing where she refused to bend to get into the carseat. That used to drive me bonkers!!!
So I kinda yelled over to her, "Hey wanna meet me at Chili's for a margarita!?!" And she laughed. She stopped and really laughed. After that, I said, "You ok? You going to make it?" And she smiled and replied that she had her balance back. She made some comment about how do you do it with twins (My son was big. My DD was small.) And we laughed together about how hard it was and how we didn't get paid enough. I made a few more cracks about how when I'm 80, I'm going over to my kids' houses for the holdiays and am going to curse like a sailor and crap my pants so they have to fix it.
Then we got in our cars and drove away. I live in a small town so I've seen her since and her daughter and now her son seem very happy and attached to her.
Anyone who hasn't had a bad day like that with their kids is in my opinion, either completely delusional, has a mental disorder like extreme contact avoidance, or has birthed pod children from the planet Zargon.
I don't know what I would have done with the shopping cart lady. I'm sure I'd have gone for humor first since that's my weapon of choice. It depends upon how dramatic the kid was, how hard the hit was, how the mom looked immediately after, etc. etc.
But I wouldn't have lied about a career I don't have.
Second, I understand from my schooling in education, people can't learn when their brains are being impacted by a chemical reaction to fear, humilitation, shame, etc. This is NOT a "teachable moment.">>>
This. Wow. I'm really laughing at the idea of pretending to be a doctor. Number one, if you did this to me - I'd probably spot you out. I'm married to a doctor. I'd ask you questions you probably wouldn't be able to answer on the fly and then I'd possibly try to find out who you were so I could report you. It is illegal in my state to impersonate professionals with legal licenses.
And then I'd get another giggle at you because I've met real pediatricians who thought breastmilk was bad for toddlers since it wasn't sterile and that co-sleeping would smother my baby and that if it didn't smother the baby, the child would be far too "attached" to us. We have a pediatrician we do love but I take her advice with a grain of salt. Heck, I take EVERYONE'S advice with a grain of salt.
That's not a teachable moment since you have no control on the outcome like others have said. You have no idea if you actually made things worse for all the people you've "intervened" with.
I think the best response that has ever worked for me was when I was grocery shopping with my kids. They were like 3 and 2. And they were being relatively "good" (as good as tired toddlers cane be). There was another mom shopping opposite to me. (She was going down the aisles backwards - why do people do that!?
) And we met each other in every aisle. Her child was starting to act up halfway through. And I watched her get more and more peeved.We checked out together. Our cars were close to each other and then her kid did that tantrum-y thing where she refused to bend to get into the carseat. That used to drive me bonkers!!!
So I kinda yelled over to her, "Hey wanna meet me at Chili's for a margarita!?!" And she laughed. She stopped and really laughed. After that, I said, "You ok? You going to make it?" And she smiled and replied that she had her balance back. She made some comment about how do you do it with twins (My son was big. My DD was small.) And we laughed together about how hard it was and how we didn't get paid enough. I made a few more cracks about how when I'm 80, I'm going over to my kids' houses for the holdiays and am going to curse like a sailor and crap my pants so they have to fix it.
Then we got in our cars and drove away. I live in a small town so I've seen her since and her daughter and now her son seem very happy and attached to her.
Anyone who hasn't had a bad day like that with their kids is in my opinion, either completely delusional, has a mental disorder like extreme contact avoidance, or has birthed pod children from the planet Zargon.
I don't know what I would have done with the shopping cart lady. I'm sure I'd have gone for humor first since that's my weapon of choice. It depends upon how dramatic the kid was, how hard the hit was, how the mom looked immediately after, etc. etc.
But I wouldn't have lied about a career I don't have.
good catch!
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