He just charged $9000 on my credit card

[chicmom]

I just checked my credit card statement and it appears that stbx has basically made a cash advance (one of those checks that the credit card sends you with your bill) for $9000. This is a card that I opened in my name to get rewards for our children's college funds (Its a Upromise credit card). I called the credit card company and it looks like the check was made out to his mother for $9000. I am sure it was used to pay for his attorney fees.

Ugh...what does this mean? I opened the credit card and he is a authorized user. Am I going to be responsible for his charges?

After I discovered this, I called the other credit cards that we have together. He has kicked me off of all of those cards. I haven't even used these cards in YEARS! I am so mad. He is going to ruin my credit.

FYI: I have filed for divorce in Nebraska. We have a temporay hearing on Thursday in Nebraska.

I am so stupid. I should have put a spending freeze on this card when I left him.

[JunipersMom]

Immediately contact the credit card company and note EVERYTHING - you will probably be able to prove its his debt, but you may need to pay the minimum until court so that your credit is ruined - CALL AN ATTORNEY.. So sorry momma

[Sharlla]

i cant imagine it will look good for him in court that he did that after you filed
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[vannienicole]

Contact a lawyer asap. I think that after you file, there is a spending freeze in most states on credit. You should be able to regain access to your cards in your temporary hearing. And as pp said, make sure to pay the minimium payments. At least you won't fall behind on payments.

Stbx continued to use ours without paying CS, so minimums were not paid. Even though I am leaving the divorce CC debt free, my redit is shot because of this. 1.75 years of BS

[hillymum]

Also request the check be returned to you via registered mail along with a current statement so you have something physical to show a judge!

I am so sorry! I thought bad things of my sbx but this is just crazy! It will reflect very badly on your sbx though so thats the good news!

[chicmom]

The check was generated on July 20, 2010 and cashed July 27, 2010. I filed on July 8, 2010.

I am LIVID!!!

[meemee]

when was he served?

[chicmom]

July 23rd, but he knew that it was coming, so he retainer attorney services July 16th. I am sure that he used that $$ to pay his parents back for his attorney fees.

[meemee]

coooool!!!! you have a great paper trail.

[cycle]

Did you dispute it with the credit card company? I would file a fraud/dispute since he was not supposed to be charging anything on that card just to cover yourself.

[Momtwice]

I would not file fraud charges if he's an authorized user. But I would check with my lawyer about the best way to proceed.

[Goodmom2008]

Tell your attorney what he did and have your attorney ask for the money back. Since he is an authorized user, you don't have a case for fraud.

I would also remove him as an authorized user on all of your accounts ASAP.

Since the debt is in your name, even if he is ordered to pay it by the courts they will come after you if he doesn't. And rather than ask the courts to order him to pay it either have it to where he gives you the $9K or, after the assets are divided, you get an additional $9K from his side of the column.

[Avani]

You are married and he is an authorized user. You lied and left the state with the kids and then filed for divorce. So your ex needed an attorney. Should be interesting to see what the judge orders altogether.

[Goodmom2008]

Originally Posted by Avani

You are married and he is an authorized user. You lied and left the state with the kids and then filed for divorce. So your ex needed an attorney. Should be interesting to see what the judge orders altogether.

If I had read her history first, my post would have been different. Given that she unilaterally decided to move the kids without his consent, she probably won't get the money back and will probably be responsible for paying back at least half of the $9K without any compensatory assets to cover it. And she may very well be stuck with all transportation costs, whether it's for her to fly the kids to the NCP or for him to fly the kids to the NCP. Because she just may end up being the NCP.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by Avani

You are married and he is an authorized user. You lied and left the state with the kids and then filed for divorce. So your ex needed an attorney. Should be interesting to see what the judge orders altogether.

I agree with this. It doesn't sound like either of you are going to come up as looking good in front of the judge. Hopefully him doing this cancels out the goodwill the judge would have felt towards him because you lied and took the kids. At least then you will both be on more equal footing. Even though this is a horrible thing to have happen it will hopefully even out both of your mistakes in the judges eyes. In the long run keeping a fair amount of custody could be worth the money, if that is how it works out.

[HappyMommy2]

I'm not sure if this is valid anymore.... but do people still take an ad out in the paper to make an official statement that you are separating and debts are no-longer communal...

[Avani]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I agree with this. It doesn't sound like either of you are going to come up as looking good in front of the judge. Hopefully him doing this cancels out the goodwill the judge would have felt towards him because you lied and took the kids. At least then you will both be on more equal footing. Even though this is a horrible thing to have happen it will hopefully even out both of your mistakes in the judges eyes. In the long run keeping a fair amount of custody could be worth the money, if that is how it works out.

How is a man using his and his wives credit card to get an attorney equal to a wife saying she is taking a vacation with the kids but she actually moved herself and three kids to another state, without fathers consent, and filed divorce while there? How do those two things cancel each other out?

I'm very interested in seeing how this turns out.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by Avani

How is a man using his and his wives credit card to get an attorney equal to a wife saying she is taking a vacation with the kids but she actually moved herself and three kids to another state, without fathers consent, and filed divorce while there? How do those two things cancel each other out?

I'm very interested in seeing how this turns out.

Because they are both doing things they really shouldn't do and increasing the tension and drama. I don't think it morally cancels it out, but possibly in the eyes of the judge the two will be seen as both working against each other on the drama plane. I don't know how much drama is normal during a divorce, but both of these things seem to be drama since he kicked her off his cards then drew a bunch of money off of hers when he had his own resources. It could be that the judge decides that the person who started the drama is more responsible for it escalating. It is hard to say because both things are pretty bad, though one is worse to me than the other. I think a lot of it will come down to how the judge feels about things and how good each person's excuse is. Emotionally abusive or unsafe households are good to escape from and maybe the judge will sympathize with that more or maybe with the parent who was tricked out of seeing his kids at all.

OP if your relationship was truly an abusive one I suggest getting in contact with an organization that specializes in domestic violence.

[papayapetunia]

Well, she says he took her off of all his credit cards, and then he used the one under her name to pay his legal fees. It's not like he innocently used a joint account. He's trying to cut off her access to money and send a little slap in the face by using her card to pay his legal fees. You may morally object to what she did, but it's perfectly legal and happens all the time. What the husband is doing is against court rules and looks very bad to a judge.

[Theoretica]

OP...

If he had surreptitiously and abruptly left YOU and taken the children, under the pretenses of a vacation or trip...and then filed for divorce/custody...I would HOPE you'd do anything you could to make sure you had adequate and immediate legal representation, including using a joint credit account to secure legal services. And honestly, you'd probably have the support and entire cheering section of everyone at MDC.

Children have a right to both parents. Period. At times that is grossly inconvenient to one or both parents, but the rights of the kids to experience BOTH parents in their life...that trumps the convenience and preferences of the parents.

Parent-'ectomies' are, in my opinion, completely inexcusable in 99.99999% of custody cases.