Hi there,
Ds is 3.5yrs old and has discovered that the word stupid is not a nice word and therefore loves to use it. Sometimes he just blurts out "mommy you're stupid" but most of the time he is angry and will then call me or dh stupid. I respond by ignoring him and/or explaining that that is rude and it hurts my feelings. I think it is best to not give too much attention to his name calling and using it as an opportunity to explain appropriate behaviour. When he is mad I tell him to tell me how he feels but to not call me names. Dh on the otherhand thinks that ds is getting away with being rude and that this is unacceptable. He says that he would never dream of calling his dad stupid when he was growing up. He says that he had way more respect for his parents than ds has for us. Am I going about this the wrong way?? How can I explain to dh that getting angry and the idea of spanking is not the answer??
Ds is 3.5yrs old and has discovered that the word stupid is not a nice word and therefore loves to use it. Sometimes he just blurts out "mommy you're stupid" but most of the time he is angry and will then call me or dh stupid. I respond by ignoring him and/or explaining that that is rude and it hurts my feelings. I think it is best to not give too much attention to his name calling and using it as an opportunity to explain appropriate behaviour. When he is mad I tell him to tell me how he feels but to not call me names. Dh on the otherhand thinks that ds is getting away with being rude and that this is unacceptable. He says that he would never dream of calling his dad stupid when he was growing up. He says that he had way more respect for his parents than ds has for us. Am I going about this the wrong way?? How can I explain to dh that getting angry and the idea of spanking is not the answer??
I am so going to read Playful Parenting, I love that tip. My dd calls us stupid too (she just turned 3) and I have been telling her to say "silly" or something like that instead. She's replaced it a couple times, when she thinks of it but when she's mad she still says stupid. Which happens a lot, many times a day.
. I know dh made way too big a deal about the actual word "stupid" which has only made things worse. I have been trying to calmly but firmly say "we don't use the word stupid, but you could use x y, or z instead" Sometimes it works, sometimes he is tired and looking for a struggle and will still use it. I am way more calm about it than dh. I think ds picks up on dh intensity and therefore uses the word more. I have been reading Kids, parents, and power struggles and have got many good ideas. I guess it is a work in progress. I am sad to say the whole playful thing didn't pan out, but wish me luck that gently I can direct my son in the right direction
