Anyone else not enjoy playgroups? - Page 2

[NYCVeg]

Ugh, no. I loathe playgroups. Dd IS a very social kid, but we just took her to the park a lot and did some classes at a local toddler gym.

Now she's in school full time and I assure you that her social development was not stunted by never going to a playgroup.

[faithsstuff]

I thought I was the only one who hated them! I usually only go to ones held at parks now. Even then I have other parents telling me when my 20 month old ds tries an activity they think is beyond him. My son is fearless loves to climb and roam. I watch him but pretty much let him do all the 'big' kid things. The last time a mother told me my son was climbing a ladder it sounded so much like tattling I just smiled and told her he'd be o.k. And he was.

[crunchy_mommy]

Wow, I suddenly feel incredibly fortunate!!

We do 'playgroups' up to several times a week (though I've never called them that, and sometimes the focus is on play & other times we (the adults) have an activity or the kids have an activity & sometimes it's just unstructured.

But the other moms are awesome. All the kids are pretty high-energy & into everything. Some homes are baby-proofed & some aren't. Usually a couple moms 'watch' all the kids while the rest of us talk/work on projects/etc. and we just kind of naturally rotate through -- it's an unspoken arrangement. So I might watch all the kids for 15 mins or so and then they'll all be pretty calm and then some little squabble might happen & another parent steps in & then watches all the kids for 15-20 mins... etc. Oh and we're all aware of where our kids are/what they're doing for the most part anyway.

They don't really play together a ton at this age but they do interact and they love it & look forward to seeing their friends. Most of them know each others' names already (despite many that are barely talking) and my DS, for one, wakes up asking to see the other "babies" as he calls them. And it's amazing how much they learn from each other!!!

Anyway, I just wanted to jump in & say these kinds of things CAN be a positive experience (or maybe I'm just incredibly lucky!) and trying to find the 'right fit' might make the situation more enjoyable for everyone. My group is very AP/natural and we share similar interests & values & all get along so well. Kids of all ages but many times it's just the younger ones (ages 1-3 or so) because the older ones are in school or their moms are busy with multiple children.

[ShadowMoon]

I don't like playgroups. I do have a few friends that I get together with occasionally so our kids can play but that's more like a playdate.

DS loves having me play with him or likes to show off so I can't just sit in a circle of moms and chit-chat while he plays on his own or with the other kids. I also find I don't have much in common with other moms around here and I'm not really into gossip either. I've also seen, on several occasions, that many parents get caught up on conversing and stop paying attention to their children. This would be fine if they weren't running around, breaking toys or running down the smaller kids.

Ugh, yeah playgroups are not my thing. But I'm not putting them down. i can see how they can ba a valuable resource for many people.

[childsplay]

Originally Posted by Cascadian

I hated them. Found them unnecessary and tiring, and I'm not a big fan of hours of small talk and keeping an eye on a whole bunch of kids at differing levels of development/teething/illness/biting-ness/whinyness.... I also think that PGs are more for moms than kids.

But that's just me

ETA I think that toddler peer socialization is way overrated. Toddlers can be nicely socialized with adults or older kids.

Particularily your last paragraph.

I've had limited experience with playgroups but the few times I went it was gag-worthy the way the other moms were trying to one-up each other.

[rightkindofme]

In the main I haven't had great luck with playgroups. Although for the past few months I've been hanging out with some mama's from MDC and that has been fabulous! It's a very mellow sort of 'playgroup' and we seem to mesh very well in dealing with our kids. I think it helps that there aren't very many of us.

I'm totally in the camp of "I needed some freakin friends" and these women are becoming that for me so I'm pretty grateful.

[seaheroine]

We've tried playgroups a few times, but I just can't get into them. I am way too introverted to be comfortable!

DD socializes at the park, and has several friends about her age that live next door on either side. I have great neighbors, so occasional playtimes with them work out well.

We're going to do a parent/toddler class at the local Waldorf school in the wall. It's one day a week, and that I think I can handle, lol.

[mamazee]

I did them when my older child was little, but now I'm always the oldest mom by like 15 years and I just don't connect with the other moms like I did before.

[Cascadian]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

Anyway, I just wanted to jump in & say these kinds of things CAN be a positive experience (or maybe I'm just incredibly lucky!) and trying to find the 'right fit' might make the situation more enjoyable for everyone. My group is very AP/natural and we share similar interests & values & all get along so well. Kids of all ages but many times it's just the younger ones (ages 1-3 or so) because the older ones are in school or their moms are busy with multiple children.

It's awesome that you found this!

Not liking a playgroup doesn't mean we don't get our social fixes and child interaction in other settings...

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by Cascadian

It's awesome that you found this!

Not liking a playgroup doesn't mean we don't get our social fixes and child interaction in other settings...

maybe I just don't understand what this 'playgroup' thing you are all talking about is... because some of the things the last few posters mentioned (playing with neighbors, getting together with friends), I would consider a playgroup. Is there some other kind of playgroup you all are talking about??? I feel clueless now!

[Cascadian]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

maybe I just don't understand what this 'playgroup' thing you are all talking about is... because some of the things the last few posters mentioned (playing with neighbors, getting together with friends), I would consider a playgroup. Is there some other kind of playgroup you all are talking about??? I feel clueless now!

From my own experience, playgroups are usually random groups of moms whose common element is kids who were born in the same year give or take, rather than actually knowing each other first, before kids, socially. Many times they spring together from prenatal classes, craigslist/meetup listings, kindermusik, baby gym, mommy and me classes, etc.

The other stuff you mentioned - neighbours, friends - I personally wouldn't consider a playgroup. It's people you knew before kids who may or may not have kids, and whose kids are not necessarily the same age as yours.

YMMV, but I'd rather hang with friends and neighbours than an artificially thrown together group of people...but that's just my personality. Of course there are fantastic AP/crunchy groups where everyone loves everyone else in an egalitarian and non-competitive way, and talk about more than mainstream parenting...just haven't found any around here

I am ALWAYS the wierdo crunchy outsider because of AP.

[LuxPerpetua]

My child is 4.5 and I have NEVER done a playgroup for the very reasons you mentioned. There is a great book called Hold On To Your Kids that talks about the myth of peer socialization. I love this book!

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by scottishmommy

You know what else I can't stand about PGs? How your baby gets categorized as a push over or a bully when they are 18 months old. It's like we're already setting them up to be a certain way. My dd is an absolute delight when she isn't around other toddlers trying to play with her toys.

You know, that's a really good point. When my son was about that age he pushed over another boy. The boy hit his nose on the edge of a brick and later we learned his nose was broken. I felt absolutely dreadful. His mom was ready to spit nails at me, I'm sure she thought my son was a brute. Ugh. What a memory.