I can't sit down. Ever.

[LaurieG]

If I do I am immediately attacked by DD (33 months) who very aggressively climbs on my lap, flips herself to nursing position, and pulls up or down my shirt to nurse. I'm okay with taking a few minutes break to snuggle and nurse here and there throughout the day but the thing is I think she is doing it out of habbit or boredom or just because - not because she needs to reconnect or settle herself. Ideally, I'm working toward weaning (albeit very slowly) and so it seems to me the easiest nursing sessions to cut are the ones that aren't meeting an important physical or emotional need. But instead of getting less frequent, DD is more and more demanding to nurse. It's wearing on me so I know the dynamic needs to change, and soon. I find it really annoying, because something that might normally take me just 60 seconds to do (check something on the internet, for example) turns in to a big power struggle of her trying to nurse and me saying "No, I'm getting up in just a second and we can go do something else" and then it turns into her deciding to be determined to get her way which makes whatever I'm doing take 3 times as long. For example, right now as I've been typing this she has already nursed both sides three times (for 10 seconds each because there really is no milk right now since she already nursed it all earlier) and is now trying to type on the keyboard. I keep putting her down and she keeps climbing up and touching the keyboard again.

Attention, I know. But I can't pay attention to her constantly. Some independent play should be expected at this age, right?

[D_McG]

It helped me to set times where we could nurse and work on other bonding things apart from that. IDK if that's what you're looking for b/c I weaned both of mine by age two. But what you're talking about (the grabbing, etc), I just didn't tolerate. I'd stand up. Give a hug, etc. But I just slowly got us away from nursing at every interval. I never really allowed the whole drive-by nursing thing. I get overstimulated (physically) very easily. That kind of frequent intense contact without face to face connection just makes me antsy and disconnected.

GL!

[Vancouver Mommy]

I have had extactly the same problem for ages. My son is 3.25 yo now and it's getting a bit better for a couple of reasons. First I have limited the number of places where I will nurse him. There are only a couple of public places where we nurse now, actually, but we started off eliminating them one by one. "Mommy doesn't nurse in the playground in March anymore, honey". I also don't nurse if I have a cup of coffee. The second thing I've started doing is try to identify the reason he wants to nurse. "You seem bored, would you like to build a puzzle?" or "you had a fight with your sister and now you feel bad. Can I help you two work it out?" or "You fell down and nursing makes it feel better. Would a hug make it feel better this time?". It's working and better yet, I feel like I'm helping him replace his comfort nursing with new coping skills. A few months ago my reaction was more like "OMG PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE!!!!"

[LaurieG]

Thank you, thank you both of you. I felt kind of bad about just posting a vent and not really asking a question but was so happy to see some concrete suggestions for improvement. Vancouver Mommy - my feelings are often like you say you were a few months ago. It is very encouraging to hear how things have improved. We have set some limits (no nursing in public except in certain extreme circumstances, no nursing during meals b/c she would refuse to eat and only want to nurse while I was trying to eat).

D_McG - I also get the antsy overstimulated thing with the frequent flipping. It starts to make my skin crawl which is I"m sure why I get so irritated with it.

[mystic_eye_cda]

That's why I never sit on the couch because then I have two climbing on me to nurse ;-)

I think they all go through phases like that. Where they want to nurse all the time, or want all of your attention, or want to be carried everywhere. All you can really do is try to find a way to meet their needs without going insane.

Distraction before you sit down is good. Also you can put your e-mail in half the screen and a kids video in the other half. Try "gummi bear" on youtube. Or "ready-set-bumbo"(warning pacifiers, I think not in the first one though) and all the usual stuff, or pbskids, kids cbc, etc.

You could also get her her own computer. I know people think I'm nuts but look. I'm a programmer, Daddy is an audio engineer (which is mainly done on computers) so mommy and daddy spend a lot of time on computers. So they kiddies have their own. There are lots of great kids websites with games that even kids under 3 can play. And I don't see how its any worse than any other electronic toy, except its a lot less wasteful because it grows with the child instead of being tossed aside after a few months. Just make sure you get cheap keyboards, and you can usually find smaller mice that have only two buttons pretty cheap (too many buttons make it hard for young kids to use. Also it helps to put a sticker on the left-mouse-button as they will forget which one is which)

Also you can try teaching the "first this, then that" but it takes awhile for kids to get. But the more often you say the "First we do this, then we do that" the more likely they are to get it. Use it for short things though.