How to get DS 1 to nap now that we have a DS2

[boatrat]

Hi there mommas, I could use some help. DS 1 is 31 months old, and it is getting more and more difficult to get him to take a nap. Typically, someone has to lie down with him for between 30 minutes and one hour in order to get him to wind down and sleep. Now that we have a DS2 this presents quite a challenge. DS2 is only 1 month old, so we can't "plan" his naps to give us time to put DS 1 down.

DS1 did not nap at all last week because I couldn't take the time to lie down with him, and the afternoons were a wreck (we did enjoy the early bedtimes, however). This weekend since his dad was here to help out, he was able to take a nap and the afternoons were much better. With a nap, he sleeps from 8 or 8:30 until 6:30, then takes a nap for 1 - 2 hours at noon. Without a nap, he sleeps from 6 until 6:30.

So, those of you with more than one child - how do you do it? DS1 needs to have someone with him in order to take a nap. I tried to convince him to lie in his bed alone for his nap, but he simply did not want to comply and chose to run around and play. Or, I'd lie down with him for a minute but then DS2 would wake up, and I'd have to go attend to him. This would distract DS1 and "naptime" would be over.

I'm on the borderline of just giving up his nap. He has been fighting it for months, I'm just not sure how to make this work with two. I'm currently home on maternity leave for the next two months. When I go back to work both boys will be home with a nanny at naptime (DS1 will be in preschool in the mornings), so we need to have a routine that can be transferred to another care provider.

Thanks so much!

[elmh23]

with dd, i'd lie in her bed and nurse the babe. when that didn't work, we did quiet time. she needed to stay in her room but could play or "read" or whatever, as long as she didn't come out. she usually fell asleep.

ds was 3 when ds2 came and had already given up naps around his 2nd birthday and is pretty much incapable of quiet time, so i put on a movie. rarely does he fall asleep but at least i had the break and am thus able to deal with the afternoons better.

congratulations on the babe!

[boatrat]

congratulations on the babe!

Thank you!

with dd, i'd lie in her bed and nurse the babe.

DS1 is totally distracted by the baby, so this won't work. He just wants to hold him and squeeze him (can't blame the little guy, he is cute!). Also, DS2 is not a comfort nurser and his sessions tend to be fairly short (this is weird for me, DS1 nursed all the time...but DS2 is gaining weight, so I guess its just his normal).

Unfortunately, my DS1 is similar to your DS2 in that he seems incapable of independent quiet time. I just don't know how to get him to stay in his room. He has no interest in this. Any suggestions?

ds was 3 when ds2 came and had already given up naps around his 2nd birthday and is pretty much incapable of quiet time, so i put on a movie.

We try to really limit screen time, but a bit of Caillou or Thomas the Train might help us all to get through the afternoons.

Today, I had a 20 minute block of time to lie down with him. He was calm for this 20 minutes, but when the baby woke up he was back to running around...sigh. This afternoon will be rough, but at least I know he'll be asleep by 6:30.

I have read NCSS, NCSS for Toddlers, as well as Sleepless in America. I know that naps are important..I just don't know how to "enforce" one now that I can't devote 100% of my effort to it. I just have all of this no-nap guilt now.

[Peony]

DD2 was exactly 2.5y old when DS was born and still napping most days. Yes, in an ideal world where I didn't have a baby or she could of just laid down and fallen asleep then she should of continued napping. That wasn't our world though. DD2 had to have someone lay down with her for 30 minutes and it just was not possible with the baby. It got the point where my entire day was around trying to get her to nap, I'd carefully plan lunch, put the baby down for a nap, go attempt to put DD2 down, and it never failed, something happened which was usually the baby waking up and it didn't work out. I made it a few times where the baby would nurse the entire time while I laid with DD2, but that was rare usually he would squeak, DD2 would wake up or never go to sleep, it was just a nightmare. So I stopped her naps. Yes she was grumpy, and she would fall asleep in the car in the afternoons when we went out but my sanity level was much improved. And she got used to not napping and started going and earlier which was awesome.

[boatrat]

Peony, thanks for the response. Yes, we do not live in a perfect world where I can devote hours to making sure DS1 gets his nap.

Right now we are in transition - he is napping on some days, not on others. I'm guessing that soon there will be no nap unless he magically decides that he can go to sleep without having someone lie with him for 20 or 30 minutes.

[Pippi L.]

I'm going to be there, too in a few weeks. Right now naptimes are challenging because I'm so hugely pregnant lying down next to her is really uncomfortable. My daughter will do quiet time to certain extent, though, and that helps. A few things that help with the napping are making sure she gets lots of exercise in the morning. We walk to the playground and play. It's a kilometer or two there so she really gets tired. Those days getting her to nap is a lot easier. If she really resists her nap I tell that she can read in her bed. We pile up a bunch of books and get a stuffed animal buddy for her to read to. When I'm lucky she'll fall asleep reading. I'm not always lucky, though.

I hate evenings when she doesn't nap. She's so grouchy, but there's only so much I can do. If your ds does give up naps I'm sure you'll fall into a routine eventually -- though if you're like me it will feel like a long time!