I feel a little guilty over this, but I think it is for the best.
My mother has always objected to my homeschooling my oldest, but not the other children. It is very irritating and over the top. My first two children are a year a part. They are actually 17 months apart, but 1 grade a part, but the younger one is in all classes the older one's age. She would often say stuff like "it is fine for XYZchild but not for my <DS15>." This agendized speech was old years ago. Always, since babies, she would invite older one over and not younger one. She would want to do things for older child, but then ignore the youngers saying stuff like the youngers just need to accept that there are certain privileges to being the oldest. It used to be that she would come to some event for the older child and then the very next year, skip it for the younger child saying it just is not that important, she is busy, she is sick (she has been "dying" for most of my life).
DS15 was in public school for a long time. He always has had troubles. He does have some learning problems, but he is very smart. In fact, his private school entrance exam scores were higher than DD, even when they were both scored only against their own age groups. DS still finds the need to always find trouble, not do his school work, make excuses, even lie. We should have pulled him out of public school years ago.
DD on the other hand, went to school last year and earned all high As, even taking 9th and 10th grade level courses. DS enrolled at the same school for the spring. It was one of those combo schools where you work from home most of the time but go in for certain things like science labs, tests, assembly, things like that. Anyway, DS was enrolled in much of the same courses. First thing that happened right off is DS got caught cheating when it was time for a test. He got in trouble and did his pitiful crying that often makes people feel sorry for him, except the school was smarter than that and he still got in trouble. At the regular public school, he pulled the fire alarm. He swore up and down it was not on purpose and he just bumped it. He was crying so hard and swore he was telling the truth. I went to the school and they did find a defect with the alarm. He was with me and stuck with his story through it all. He got out of his in-school suspension. We all fell for his story. 1.5 yrs later, I find on facebook (he posted it to someone else's page recently which is why I did not see it earlier, he only just got his account) where he was bragging about pulling that fire alarm and how he got away with it. I found out about a bunch of other stuff he did too.
ANYWAY, DD14 got in to a charter magnet science and math school. DS15 swears he wants to go. I gave in and let him go in the waiting list figuring he would not get in anyway. We got a call a couple weeks ago that he got in. Fine. I am nervous about it with his history. Don't even know if I am doing the right thing giving him another chance. Cannot even feel like I can even talk to anyone about the extent to which he did wrong things in the past. If they are anti-homeschool, they just get the attitude that any school, no matter what the problems at the school or with the child, is better than homeschool, so you get no where trying to explain things.
But, beyond that, I never told my mother that my son has gotten in to this magnet school. She does not even know DD got in to it. I do not even know if we will like the school, or if it will just be another public school with watered down academics and out of control classrooms like what goes on in our local public schools. If we do not like it, I want to be able to pull the children out without my mother standing over me freaking out about how I am destroying his life and his last chance at a school. Another thing about my mother is, she knows about my son's misbehaviors but maintains that he is just a normal little boy, literally, she says "little" wanting to have fun and he should be entitled. She is not at all concerned that he only passed his classes last year because I did as much work as he did to get him through. I begged and pleaded the teachers often for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc chance. He would have flunked half his classes, literally, if my husband and I had not intervened and begged the teachers. Despite the begging, when given extra chances, DS lied to us and did not show up when we would drive him to school early to take tests and such.
I feel it is a bad idea to tell the truth about my son getting in to the magnet school. I am afraid if I do, my mother will call all the time asking how HE liked it (again, ignoring my daughter) and wanting him to come over to give all the details and so on. Plus, if it does not work out, even if it does not work out for my daughter, I want to feel free to pull both or one of them out without my mother panicking.
Would you feel guilty over this? I feel a little guilty, but I know it is for the best.
My mother has always objected to my homeschooling my oldest, but not the other children. It is very irritating and over the top. My first two children are a year a part. They are actually 17 months apart, but 1 grade a part, but the younger one is in all classes the older one's age. She would often say stuff like "it is fine for XYZchild but not for my <DS15>." This agendized speech was old years ago. Always, since babies, she would invite older one over and not younger one. She would want to do things for older child, but then ignore the youngers saying stuff like the youngers just need to accept that there are certain privileges to being the oldest. It used to be that she would come to some event for the older child and then the very next year, skip it for the younger child saying it just is not that important, she is busy, she is sick (she has been "dying" for most of my life).
DS15 was in public school for a long time. He always has had troubles. He does have some learning problems, but he is very smart. In fact, his private school entrance exam scores were higher than DD, even when they were both scored only against their own age groups. DS still finds the need to always find trouble, not do his school work, make excuses, even lie. We should have pulled him out of public school years ago.
DD on the other hand, went to school last year and earned all high As, even taking 9th and 10th grade level courses. DS enrolled at the same school for the spring. It was one of those combo schools where you work from home most of the time but go in for certain things like science labs, tests, assembly, things like that. Anyway, DS was enrolled in much of the same courses. First thing that happened right off is DS got caught cheating when it was time for a test. He got in trouble and did his pitiful crying that often makes people feel sorry for him, except the school was smarter than that and he still got in trouble. At the regular public school, he pulled the fire alarm. He swore up and down it was not on purpose and he just bumped it. He was crying so hard and swore he was telling the truth. I went to the school and they did find a defect with the alarm. He was with me and stuck with his story through it all. He got out of his in-school suspension. We all fell for his story. 1.5 yrs later, I find on facebook (he posted it to someone else's page recently which is why I did not see it earlier, he only just got his account) where he was bragging about pulling that fire alarm and how he got away with it. I found out about a bunch of other stuff he did too.
ANYWAY, DD14 got in to a charter magnet science and math school. DS15 swears he wants to go. I gave in and let him go in the waiting list figuring he would not get in anyway. We got a call a couple weeks ago that he got in. Fine. I am nervous about it with his history. Don't even know if I am doing the right thing giving him another chance. Cannot even feel like I can even talk to anyone about the extent to which he did wrong things in the past. If they are anti-homeschool, they just get the attitude that any school, no matter what the problems at the school or with the child, is better than homeschool, so you get no where trying to explain things.
But, beyond that, I never told my mother that my son has gotten in to this magnet school. She does not even know DD got in to it. I do not even know if we will like the school, or if it will just be another public school with watered down academics and out of control classrooms like what goes on in our local public schools. If we do not like it, I want to be able to pull the children out without my mother standing over me freaking out about how I am destroying his life and his last chance at a school. Another thing about my mother is, she knows about my son's misbehaviors but maintains that he is just a normal little boy, literally, she says "little" wanting to have fun and he should be entitled. She is not at all concerned that he only passed his classes last year because I did as much work as he did to get him through. I begged and pleaded the teachers often for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc chance. He would have flunked half his classes, literally, if my husband and I had not intervened and begged the teachers. Despite the begging, when given extra chances, DS lied to us and did not show up when we would drive him to school early to take tests and such.
I feel it is a bad idea to tell the truth about my son getting in to the magnet school. I am afraid if I do, my mother will call all the time asking how HE liked it (again, ignoring my daughter) and wanting him to come over to give all the details and so on. Plus, if it does not work out, even if it does not work out for my daughter, I want to feel free to pull both or one of them out without my mother panicking.
Would you feel guilty over this? I feel a little guilty, but I know it is for the best.
