Doesn't want to play?

[kriket]

DS is 15 months, he is the only, and he doesn't like to play with other kids. We take him to the little play area in the mall, and to the Y child care while I work out. He CRIES when we go to the Y. He knows where he is, and that I am going to leave him. He does warm up eventually and will stand in the area that kids are playing and act half interested in touching a toy, but never does.

Is there anything I can do to get him used to playing? Just keep taking him to play dates and things?

[K1329]

Personally, I think he is acting in an age-appropriate way. I've found, with my two, that they play by themselves next to other kids, or, alongside them, until 2.5 or 3, when they start actually playing with the other children.

I wouldn't worry about it - he'll start playing with other kids when he's ready. As for leaving him, I tried leaving ds in a child care setting at 1. He never warmed up to it, so I pulled him out. But, at 2.5, he was ready and couldn't wait to go!

[caenach]

DD is 23 months and even now she can't really "play" with other children her age. She likes to watch them/be around them, but there isn't a lot of coordinated play (unless there is a child present who is old enough to direct DD in an activity). I think that's just normal for the age! When DD was that age, we used to go to the park and she would just stand at the bottom of the play equipment and stare at the other kids for like an hour! If you add to the "other children" situation the stress of a situation where he knows you're going to leave him/doesn't want to be left alone, it seems pretty normal that he might not be enthusiastic about joining in the fun right away.

What about some kind of library story-hour for toddlers or a gymkhana/music-together type of class for him? At that age, DD really enjoyed being in the same room with other children in her age group, doing some kind of activity alongside them, and watching them, but still having Mama there to hold her, interact with her, and guide the interactions with the other kids.

Sometimes it's helpful for me to model or suggest to DD "how" to interact with the other children, too, but at 15 months, I'm not sure that would have worked very well!

[kriket]

good to know it's normal! I knew in the back of my mind that he would probably just start playing more as he got older. Thanks for the BTDT advice!

[CookAMH]

He's probably just so much out of his comfort zone, perhaps since he is your only one at the moment. My 15mo DS is somewhat similar. He doesn't chase other kids or try to play with them, but he does watch them and he almost looks like he's thinking, if I were just a little bigger and could run, I could play with them. Then he just goes back to playing with the wood chips lol. He plays on his own at home quite a bit and occasionally interracts with a 2.5yo girl who comes over. But he's pretty self sufficient (but doesn't like me to leave if strangers are present).

I don't think there is any harm in continuing to offer play situations, but don't worry about how he's playing or not playing. He's got his own personality and cautiousness, and he'll figure things out. There really isn't anything you can do to change him, ya know? Just keep being supportive and non-pushing.