Birth Trauma and PPD

[neveryoumindthere]

Just wondering how many of us experienced birth trauma or a birth that was totally not what we planned for and how many of us had PPD afterwards.

I know for me, with dd1, I was put on bedrest for the last 8 weeks and ended up being induced at 38 weeks and I was (and still am) so mad about it. I was scared, didn't want anything to happen to the baby and have it be "my fault" by refusing induction. Had pretty bad PPD.

dd2, had some PTSD, after giving birth at home unassisted (unplanned) in the bathroom, was hallucinating, having flashbacks etc. Severe PPD after that one.

ds3, had my planned homebirth but it was the most traumatic of all. Had to do a lot of emotional work on that one. Again, PPD followed.

Wondered if there was a connection for others and what you were/are doing to heal from the trauma.

[tessamami]

I've healed.

It took education, practical help, and finding spirituality. And a lot of what people were calling PPD is now sometimes referred to as PTSD.

Call it what you want. I feel that I was able to avoid major problems by leaning and growing in my faith, and paying for postpartum doula help. I am a birth doula and postpartum doula now because of what I went through.

And really, of all the birth stories I have read or witnessed, my traumatic experience really wasn't the worst - but it was bad enough for me to totally change my approach to how I birthed my babies. And my experience brought truly wonderful people into my lives. When I work with women I really try to be and do all that has been helpful. I don't share my religious point of view, but am open to my clients experience, and I really practice listening.

[jtrt]

I have finally scheduled an appointment with a therapist to address my symptoms of PPD/PTSD after the traumatic birth of my baby in December.

We transported to the hospital at 7cm when she was in an undeliverable face presentation. Had a c/s which was not the end of my world. THEN, I developed a broad ligament hematoma in recovery and went undiagnosed for 5+ hours because it was Christmas Eve and the OB had gone home! I bled internally from 11am to 5pm when they finally did an u/s and saw massive black areas throughout my abdomen. I lost 2500cc of blood from the bleed, needed emergency abdominal surgery and three blood transfusions.

I am furious that I almost bled to death in a HOSPITAL while receiving one-on-one "care" from 2 RNs. I AM AN RN and I would never in thousand years have stood by while a doctor told me over the phone that he was "on his way" three times over a 90 minute period. Rage does not adequately cover the feeling I have.

And if one more person tells me it all "turned out fine and you have a beautiful daughter and you have to let it go" I am gonna flip. clean. out.

I am depressed, suffer from flashbacks and nightmares and generally feel the world is a dangerous place and there is no help to be had if something bad happens to me. I am in a horrible place and have to get some help to rebuild.

Not good.

[neveryoumindthere]

jtrt, how is the healing process coming along? *hugs*