Are any of you just wanting to have your toddler in your room at night?

[Jen78fl]

Hi all... Well, my 2 year old daughter has her own room with her crib. She was sleeping in her crib in the same room with me when she was younger but then we moved her to her room because we were trying to sell our house and it just looked better with moving the crib out of the master bedroom, and of course my husband thought she should be in her own room. Anyway, now that we moved she has her own room again and sleeps in there all night some nights but still wakes up alot of nights and I bring her into bed with me... But lately I have been bringing her in the bed with me without her waking up.. Part of it is because she will sleep a little later usually in the bed with me...but also I just like having her in the room with me.. I just wanted to get some opinions on this.. Am I doing the wrong thing by bringing her in the room with me? Will I make her never want to sleep by herself when she gets older? I just worry about her and feel like I need to have her with me.. She will actually be starting preschool soon and that is going to be really hard on both of us. I have never left her with anyone but family... I know I am really attached to her, probably more so even than I was with my son at that age. I just hope that it is not going to cause any problems later on, like being overly attached to me.. So what do you all think? I appreciate your opinions!

Jennifer

[mamakaikai]

I get this. I sometimes want dd (28months) in our bedroom too. I worry about her in her own room. I feel more secure in knowing that she is ok when I know she is next to me. My mama bear imagination goes wild sometimes thinking that a fire/earthquake etc could happen and she's too little to figure out how to deal with that. Crazy I know. I think that it's just a result of not tuning out our instinct; we need to know our kids are ok, it's our job to!

I don't think think you are doing her any harm. Unless she is happier and prefers to be in her own room and you are forcing her. Which I doubt is the case! Or I think harm could be done if you sent a confusing message like making a rule that she must sleep in her room and does not have the freedom to choose otherwise but then you switch it up and send a mixed message and she can't predict what behaviour is expected of her.

Kids eventually will.not.want.to sleep in our beds anymore, regardless of having coslept. I personally wouldnt worry about this too much.

just m 2cents!

[Drummer's Wife]

Sometimes I really want our youngest in bed with us (and other times, like tonight, I move him to his room after he falls asleep). It's just nice to snuggle with him - and we both usually sleep better together. DH likes waking up to DS's sweet sleeping face, except that it makes it that much harder for him to get up and shower for work b/c he'd rather be warm and cozy with DS.

[lolar2]

When DS was a baby, he had a sidecarred crib, and then a mattress on the floor by our bed; then when he turned two, he got his own room with a full-size "big boy" bed (with a railing). That's what he has now, though he hasn't needed the railing since he turned 3. So when I feel like I want to be in the room with him, or when he wants me to lie down with him, I go to his room; but DH's and my room is still adult space. I like it that way, myself.

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by mamakaikai

I don't think think you are doing her any harm. Unless she is happier and prefers to be in her own room and you are forcing her. Which I doubt is the case! Or I think harm could be done if you sent a confusing message like making a rule that she must sleep in her room and does not have the freedom to choose otherwise but then you switch it up and send a mixed message and she can't predict what behaviour is expected of her.

Kids eventually will.not.want.to sleep in our beds anymore, regardless of having coslept. I personally wouldnt worry about this too much.

Heck, I still bring my 6yo in sometimes. Admittedly, he OFTEN wakes up at night and wants one of us; and we were not really a co-sleeping family from the get-go (ds had developmental delays and didn't know we existed--so he slept in his crib with no problem as an infant ).

We USUALLY wait until they wake and want us with them to bring them into our bed. Even then, sometimes we just go to their beds (because it's easier and they don't care as long as we're together). But once in a while, I bring one or the other in just to shnuggle.

[butterfly_mommy]

DS 2.5 still sleeps in his sidecar crib. We all love co-sleeping both DH and I like snuggling and being close to DS and love the fact that we are all together should an emergency arrive. DS loves being close to us at night so it works well.

Also we only have one bedroom so it is a practicality also, I do occasionally wish that DH and I had our own room again but I know that day is coming fast and I just want to soak up as much cuddles as I can.

[crunchy_mommy]

I just sold our never-used crib & bought a king-sized bed I have no intention of moving DS out until he's good & ready (and I guess I'm hoping *I'll* be ready too by then???)

FWIW, my parents did NOT co-sleep with me, and by the time I was 6 or 7 I had major issues sleeping alone. I don't know if some kids just go through that stage or if maybe we could have avoided it if they had co-slept with me earlier in my life.

[Jen78fl]

thanks everyone for your responses... It is nice to hear form people who think the same way. Most of my family thinks that she should definitely be sleeping by herself... You guys are the only ones who really understand! I think a big part of it is because of what mamakaikai said.. I like to have her in the room with me in case anything bad might happen.. Just feel like she is safer that way... and who knows maybe one day she wont want to sleep in the bed with me .. right now I dont think she seems to mind

[Baby_Cakes]

I haven't even *tried* moving DD to her own toddler bed yet mostly b/c I love sleeping w/her and waking up to her sweet little face. I think it's totally normal, and I definitely don't think it's setting her up for problems or issues later. She'll outgrow wanting to sleep in your bed. Enjoy it now while you can.

[2timestrouble]

Originally Posted by Jen78fl

But lately I have been bringing her in the bed with me without her waking up.. Part of it is because she will sleep a little later usually in the bed with me...but also I just like having her in the room with me.. I just wanted to get some opinions on this.. Am I doing the wrong thing by bringing her in the room with me? Will I make her never want to sleep by herself when she gets older?

Babies are so yummy to sleep with, they are cute, soft, warm little angles...however my so sweet, cute, soft angle kicks me right in the face and even if we have a king size bed very often my husband and I are in the very edge of our bed, how such a little thing uses so much space?!
Would this make your daughter want to stay with you and make it harder for her to want to go to her own bed? I think so. I was a single mom with my first and we sleep together, most of it to keep us company. When I got married she went to her own room and it was a little hard for both. She got it over soon mostly because we end up buying a $1,000 dollar bed for her (it was a castle with a slide and TV, books, and toys under the castle, maybe no so good idea, lol).
With my second baby we decide to put her in her own room since day one. She never slept with us until a couple months ago when she went from crib to daybed. She comes around 6am and 7am. We don't allow here to come before sun light and she understood the rules very quickly.
Maybe you can give that a try so she can sleep in her own room but you can still enjoy sleep with her.

[Jen78fl]

thanks again everyone! when shes in her room and she wakes up really early like 6 or 7 am, I bring her into my room , but then she normally doesnt want to go back to sleep lol

[babybirkel]

my son (not quite 19 months) sleeps in his crib in his own room...because he sleeps better by himself.

but we co-slept for the first year of his life basically.

and now, for some reason, i often miss him at night. and i wish we were still co-sleeping.

we moved him to his own bed because he was getting too wiggly and too distracted by having us around.

but i will say that i miss him...and i have tried to take him into our bed at night sometimes but he gets too wiggly and no one gets any sleep.

but i understand. i think it's normal and good to miss our kids and want to be near them, even if we're just sharing sleeping space.

i think if your dd sleeps okay with you guys and you and your husband are okay with it...do it.

[cdmommie]

Both of my girls, 3yo and 16 mo, come to our bed around midnight or 1am. They feel safer and we all sleep better, and it's only temporary. Eventually they WILL grow up and we will miss these snuggles.

[4Marmalade]

I get it . We have our 26 month old twins in our bed still and I know I will miss them so much when they are ready for their own space. We've spent the last 7-1/2 years co-sleeping with children in some way or another and it will be bittersweet to see that time end. For the record my two oldest are 7-1/2 and 5 and they both sleep in their own rooms now so I doubt your dd will be co-sleeping forever.

We've been contemplating a move and have looked at a few houses. We have 4 children so ideally want 4+ bedrooms. So many houses have those 4 or 5 bedrooms so spaced out within the house (1 downstairs, 1 on the main floor, 2-3 upstairs). I like our current house in that all the bedrooms are located down one hall. I like having all our children almost within arms reach. It feels safe and cozy .

And if co-sleeping meant I could grab an extra hour of sleep in the morning I would do it hands down .

[Jen78fl]

I am really glad Im not alone in this It does just feel safer and cozier to have her in the room with me. Some nights she might be a little squirmy but most nights she isnt ... My husband and I actually sleep in separate rooms because his snoring is so bad Id never get any sleep with him... so that really isnt an issue...

[TheGirls]

I love having my DD sleeping with us. We've moved her to her own room in preparation for the twins' arrival, but she has a full bed in there and I sleep with her more often than not. DP complains that she doesn't get toddler snuggles though. She doesn't like sleeping alone (a problem that will resolve quickly once the twins arrive, lol).

I never slept in my parents bed, and only in their room for the first two weeks of life, and I have had a life-long issue with sleeping alone. It was particularly severe when I was about 4-8 years old and was truly afraid to sleep alone. I wonder if I would have felt that way if I had less lonely sleep associations from my early years.

My DP slept with her mom until she was 5 and though she prefers to sleep with company, she sleeps alone just fine when the situation warrants it.

[PAgreenmama]

i know exactly how you feel! Our 28mo DD still sleeps in her sidecar crib but DH keeps mentioning how we need to get her in her own bed. We moved a few months ago and she actually has a bedroom but we haven't picked up her bed yet. I'm really in no hurry to move her and it actually make me a little teary to think about her sleeping down the hall but I think we will end up trying it out this fall.
She will always be welcomed back into our room... My husband would just like our space back. And no, I don't believe sleeping with her will cause any long term problems!

[JessieBird]

DS slept in bed with DH and I until he was 14 mos old. We actually hadn't planned on it but it just felt so right from the very day he was born. Then one day he noticed the crib that was languishing neglected in "his" room - we never used it and hardly ever went in there. He wanted to play in it first and within days was insisting that he sleep in it. He has since chosen to swich to the spare double bed that is in the same room. He sleeps MUCH better on his own but still it breaks my heart and both DH and I would love to have him back in our bed with us but he'll have nothing of it. I'll probably regret saying this but I'm kinda hoping that when the new baby comes he gets a little jealous and comes back to our bed!

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

Sometimes I really want our youngest in bed with us (and other times, like tonight, I move him to his room after he falls asleep). It's just nice to snuggle with him - and we both usually sleep better together. DH likes waking up to DS's sweet sleeping face, except that it makes it that much harder for him to get up and shower for work b/c he'd rather be warm and cozy with DS.

OMG me too!! I LOVE having my ds in the room with me, and since we only have 1BR thats a good thing but its SO hard to wake up and get ready for the day when he's so cute and angelic sleeping!!

[Jen78fl]

thanks again everyone