Euthanising Our Dog MINI UPDATE # 46 - Page 3

[SundayCrepes]

The other day I told my son, "Sometimes, when someone's body isn't working any more and they can't move or play we give them medication so they will die."

Today I asked him what he thought about that.

He said, "I think you should give it."

"Give it to who?"

"Emma. I saw what you were trying to do to her earlier. (I was using a sling to try and get her to walk.) But don't give it to us."

"No. Our bodies are healthy we don't need it."

I asked him if he would want to be there when she gets the medicine. He said no, she should get it when he's not there.

What a relief. Now the decisions are all about the dog. I talked with the vet's assistant (the vet was doing rounds at the zoo.) She said that sometimes dogs have neurological side effects from the antibiotic we're giving (it was chosen because it was geared both towards her leg infection and her diarrhea.) If changing medicines would make a difference we will do that. She can't even stand up with her front legs (we have hardwood floors.) Before starting the medication she could do that.

Emma is just Emma until she has to move. This is all she's done for years--just hang out in the fireplace. I'm in no hurry to put her down if we can get her a reasonable amount of mobility. If we can't I've already requested the vet come to our house. If our vet won't, there are other vets in town that will and I'll call them for this.

[HappyMommy2]

Pets are so wonderful to have in our lives, and since their lives are shorter than ours, it usually ends in pain. For us and them.

My son is also 4.5, and my DD is 2. I would not, personally, explain euthanasia. I would simply say that the dog is dying, and then, that the dog died. And we would grieve and cry together.

Two reasons:
1. Too young.
2. My DH still remembers vividly the day his Dad took his dog away in the car, and came back without him. All the kids were crying their eyes out. Totally traumatizing. Now I am sure you would put way more thought into it, and not be so cruel. But - There are a lot of emotions mixed in there: blaming, sadness, all kinds of stuff.


ETA ... just saw your update. What a mature son you have!

[SundayCrepes]

The vet said the antibiotic is too small a dose to have these kinds of side effects. We will stop the pain medication for the weekend. If that doesn't improve her mobility, it will be time for a difficult choice.

Thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me.

[jkpmomtoboys]

Coming into the discussion late but just wanted to give you a

We had to put our 12 1/2 yo dog, Shelby, down this summer. She had cancer and a neurological condition that made it difficult for her to walk. So I hear you about carrying a large dog up and down stairs so she can go to the bathroom. And about how hard it is to make the decision. Things just tend to snowball at the end, too. You will know when the time is right and it sounds like you do.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Nothing about this is easy or fair and it's the &$*%& part about having a pet. But it's the really important part as well.

What we did that really helped the kids and might help your 4 year old was to make a plaster print of Shelby's paw. We got a double sided frame from Michael's designed for just that purpose - one side is the plaster print, the other is a spot for a picture. The boys also requested some of Shelby's fur. They have that up in their rooms and it helped them a great deal.

I am so so sorry...

[Youngfrankenstein]

I'm sorry, I didn't have time to read the replies but we just had to put our dog to sleep. On July 4th she just couldn't stand anymore. She was 14 years old and we knew it was time. The children could see how unhappy she was so I think that while they were sad, they didn't want her to suffer.

You may want to tell your child that you're taking the dog to the vet and then tell the child the dog died at the vet. I'm not an advocate of shielding the truth or lying but you need to think of the purpose of telling him you are "killing" the dog. Would it be in his best interest? He will go through the greiveing process and process the loss because you didn't tell him the dog "went away".

[SundayCrepes]

Update

I just thought I'd let everyone know that Emma is truckin' along. Thanks to whoever suggested the sling as I've been using a towel as a sling and that's working well for getting her down the ramp and across the yard. It's not elegant, but it works.

Her leg infection is much better. She doesn't seem to be in any pain. She spends most of her day just lying around which is what she's essentially done for the last 10 years. She barks when she wants to go outside. If it's nighttime or early morning I leave her outside to enjoy the world until she barks to come indoors (it's too hot here to leave her out during the day.) I bring her water and reposition her every couple of hours. She enjoys watching the kids play. (I left her in the bedroom one day and she barked to be brought out with everyone else.) She likes eating as much as ever.

If I thought she was in pain or unhappy I'd put her down. But she seems as engaged in the world as she ever was. The vet said sometimes these geriatric neurologic dogs go kind of bonkers. So we'll see what happens. He's also said that he (or an associate) will come to the house if we have advance notice that we'll be putting her down. He couldn't guarantee anyone could come for an emergency situation, which seems reasonable.

As far as my son is concerned, he seems okay with all of this. We talk about how she's feeling good now so we're not giving her the medicine to help her die. However, if she starts being unhappy or in pain and her body isn't working then we will help her die. I am feeling more at peace with this. Thanks to all the good advice and support here we've gone down a path with our son that feels true to our beliefs on childrearing. I've also found a way to care for Emma that works with the rhythm of our family. We can't do out of town trips (we'd considered a lake canoe trip for this coming weekend.) But other than that we can go about our normal schedule. We'll see how things go as her condition deteriorates.

Thanks again to all who helped me with this.

[Oubliette8]

So glad the sling idea is working for you. If she likes going for walks, you could also line a wagon with some towels and pull her through the neighborhood with you. She might just enjoy the sights and smells.

[Theia]

I'm glad that Emma is doing better. This time is so precious and your DS is learning a great lesson about life, death, love and kindness. Many wishes that Emma continues to live out her days peacefully.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Oubliette8

So glad the sling idea is working for you. If she likes going for walks, you could also line a wagon with some towels and pull her through the neighborhood with you. She might just enjoy the sights and smells.

The wagon's a good idea. I take her outside a bit when we go there, but it's so blasted hot that we are limited on outdoor play at this time.

Theia, thanks for the kind words.

[SundayCrepes]

We took Emma for an hour long wagon ride tonight. She loved it. The kids had a good time. They each took a turn pulling her. (Well, the 2 year old only took one turn, but our 4 year old did about 40% of the pulling.)

What a great idea.

[Oubliette8]

I'm so glad to hear that.

My last dog fell ill quite suddenly, and on the day she died I took her to her favorite spot on earth, the beach. She had been unable to walk for about a week, so I had planned to just drive by with the windows open so she could smell the air. She seemed to know where she was though, so I parked and got out of the car. I had planned to carry her so she could sit on the sand and watch the waves. But she had other ideas. As soon as I lifted her out of the car she got a determined look on her face, pulled herself up and walked about 100 yards down the beach (with a slight detour where she got confused by a large puddle) and plopped herself down in the lake just like old times. And she smiled. (I on the other hand, was carrying on about how she was going to get her IV line infected- completely forgetting that it didn't matter anymore) Afterward I helped her out of the water and we sat on shore for one last time before heading to the vets, where she was euthanized in her customary spot- the passenger seat of my car. I think knowing she was so happy on that day really helped. I'll never forget it. And I don't even have the same car anymore, but sometimes I swear she's still riding in my passenger seat.

Your story about the wagon reminded me of that. I really think its the little things that keep them happy as they age. Thank you, it made me smile.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Oubliette8

I'm so glad to hear that.

My last dog fell ill quite suddenly, and on the day she died I took her to her favorite spot on earth, the beach. She had been unable to walk for about a week, so I had planned to just drive by with the windows open so she could smell the air. She seemed to know where she was though, so I parked and got out of the car. I had planned to carry her so she could sit on the sand and watch the waves. But she had other ideas. As soon as I lifted her out of the car she got a determined look on her face, pulled herself up and walked about 100 yards down the beach (with a slight detour where she got confused by a large puddle) and plopped herself down in the lake just like old times. And she smiled. (I on the other hand, was carrying on about how she was going to get her IV line infected- completely forgetting that it didn't matter anymore) Afterward I helped her out of the water and we sat on shore for one last time before heading to the vets, where she was euthanized in her customary spot- the passenger seat of my car. I think knowing she was so happy on that day really helped. I'll never forget it. And I don't even have the same car anymore, but sometimes I swear she's still riding in my passenger seat.

Your story about the wagon reminded me of that. I really think its the little things that keep them happy as they age. Thank you, it made me smile.

What a nice story.

Before kids I used to take the dogs to the dog park every day. Since kids we go once or twice a year. A couple weeks ago I actually got away on a Sunday morning. Emma mainly just lay there watching, but she had a good time. I'm glad I was able to get her one more trip while she was still relatively mobile.