Sorry if this isn't the right place to post it, but it's about working after baby.
I'm about to have kid #2, and I was initially planning to go back to work after DD but a number of things happened to change that. I want to make it clear that I am happy with my decision to SAH and think its the best for my family, but I'm having nightmares that are just literally replaying what happened when I had DD. So I'm trying to 'talk' it over I guess to process those feelings.
Towards the beginning of my pregnancy, my cool hiring boss was reassigned somewhere else. I do consulting work for external clients in the tech field, which means I needed to do some of work type A, and some of work type B. I was fairly recently promoted and was great at work A, but having trouble drumming up enough of work B. I got a new boss who came in and slammed me review-wise for not doing enough work B, but did nothing to help me. So I switched gears from overproducing on work A, to trying to do anything I could go get more work B. Again next quarter slammed again with the 'now you don't even do type A work!' review and I was pregnant in first tri and sick.
Long story short, I was not the best producer while pregnant because I was sick and unmotivated (coincidentally those feelings came back again this time around even as a SAHM). By the end of my pregnancy I had to do my work plus produce a 'How I'm going to get myself more work B when I come back from leave' report on top of it before my leave. Literally my review was going to depend on how much work I got done that quarter too, no matter if I delivered at 37 weeks or 40. The quarter started when I was 36 weeks pregnant.
My boss was also doing a crummy job at his job and was in serious trouble clearly as our whole team was not doing so well. So he passed his pressure on.
I was relieved when I went into labor at 41 weeks, right before my boss came back from vacation. I go on maternity leave for 11 weeks. My boss is demoted back to his previous position and we get a new boss from outside the group. At 8 weeks into leave, I was pretty sure I did not want to leave my baby, but I had committed to going back and so I thought I'd give it a try and see how it worked.
On my first day back, new boss casually flips through my baby pictures and then says 'ok we need to talk'. He takes me to a private room and asks me 'Do you really want to do this? You know you need to produce work B or this isn't going to work out. Think about this tonight and talk to your husband."
I'm floored and pretty much am doing all I can to hold back most of the tears. First day back at work without the baby, I already don't want to be there, and I'm getting an ultimatum after spending weeks before leaving making 'a plan' that I suppose is now out the window having gotten a new boss.
He eventually mentions severance pay and I muddle through the rest of my day trying to get caught up on things a little and get reacclimated. In the end, I knew I wanted to spend my time with my kid and she did NOT do well in her care situation either (would not take a bottle, just started sleeping the whole time by the 3rd day). Given the chance at a short term windfall and a crummy work situation with tons of pressure, I opt-ed out. I'm glad I did.
But I still have bad feelings about the whole thing. Some friends asked if I was pressured out, and while I wasn't told to quit, taking someone on their first day back with a new boss and saying 'you know you can quit now or I'm going to fire you later if things don't change' wasn't exactly a low-pressure situation. That said, I clearly was missing on some of the goals of my job, so I don't believe a firing would have been unjustified, just bum-hole of them given everything going on.
Thanks if you've managed to read this far. I think about going back to the working world again after being done having babies and this whole thing just makes me want to run and hide in my kitchen.
I'm about to have kid #2, and I was initially planning to go back to work after DD but a number of things happened to change that. I want to make it clear that I am happy with my decision to SAH and think its the best for my family, but I'm having nightmares that are just literally replaying what happened when I had DD. So I'm trying to 'talk' it over I guess to process those feelings.
Towards the beginning of my pregnancy, my cool hiring boss was reassigned somewhere else. I do consulting work for external clients in the tech field, which means I needed to do some of work type A, and some of work type B. I was fairly recently promoted and was great at work A, but having trouble drumming up enough of work B. I got a new boss who came in and slammed me review-wise for not doing enough work B, but did nothing to help me. So I switched gears from overproducing on work A, to trying to do anything I could go get more work B. Again next quarter slammed again with the 'now you don't even do type A work!' review and I was pregnant in first tri and sick.
Long story short, I was not the best producer while pregnant because I was sick and unmotivated (coincidentally those feelings came back again this time around even as a SAHM). By the end of my pregnancy I had to do my work plus produce a 'How I'm going to get myself more work B when I come back from leave' report on top of it before my leave. Literally my review was going to depend on how much work I got done that quarter too, no matter if I delivered at 37 weeks or 40. The quarter started when I was 36 weeks pregnant.
My boss was also doing a crummy job at his job and was in serious trouble clearly as our whole team was not doing so well. So he passed his pressure on.
I was relieved when I went into labor at 41 weeks, right before my boss came back from vacation. I go on maternity leave for 11 weeks. My boss is demoted back to his previous position and we get a new boss from outside the group. At 8 weeks into leave, I was pretty sure I did not want to leave my baby, but I had committed to going back and so I thought I'd give it a try and see how it worked.
On my first day back, new boss casually flips through my baby pictures and then says 'ok we need to talk'. He takes me to a private room and asks me 'Do you really want to do this? You know you need to produce work B or this isn't going to work out. Think about this tonight and talk to your husband."
I'm floored and pretty much am doing all I can to hold back most of the tears. First day back at work without the baby, I already don't want to be there, and I'm getting an ultimatum after spending weeks before leaving making 'a plan' that I suppose is now out the window having gotten a new boss.
He eventually mentions severance pay and I muddle through the rest of my day trying to get caught up on things a little and get reacclimated. In the end, I knew I wanted to spend my time with my kid and she did NOT do well in her care situation either (would not take a bottle, just started sleeping the whole time by the 3rd day). Given the chance at a short term windfall and a crummy work situation with tons of pressure, I opt-ed out. I'm glad I did.
But I still have bad feelings about the whole thing. Some friends asked if I was pressured out, and while I wasn't told to quit, taking someone on their first day back with a new boss and saying 'you know you can quit now or I'm going to fire you later if things don't change' wasn't exactly a low-pressure situation. That said, I clearly was missing on some of the goals of my job, so I don't believe a firing would have been unjustified, just bum-hole of them given everything going on.
Thanks if you've managed to read this far. I think about going back to the working world again after being done having babies and this whole thing just makes me want to run and hide in my kitchen.
. Sounds like the bosses at your old work were total 
Hopefully you'll find a better fit for you when you're ready, so don't stress about it. Congratulations on #2!!!!
