How to handle 3 y.o.'s disinterest in soccer - Page 2

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

He's only 3. If he's not enjoying the class, then don't take him. He's far too young to understand "I've made a commitment and I need to keep it." He's far more likely to learn "Soccer is hard and classes are boring, and I don't want to ever play soccer or sign up for any kind of class ever again."

Even with older children, I question the wisdom of "keep going because you committed to it." I think a lot of adults have trouble letting go or saying no when it's healthy or appropriate to do so, primarily because they've been pushed to continue things that weren't working, and taught to not trust their instints.

What she said, 'cause she's generally a very smart person.

I really don't get the "keep going" attitude. Ok, I understand that finishing something is important, but I have personally been very conflicted over backing out of something I knew wouldn't end well because of the "keep going" attitude. In the end I decided that other peoples opinions were less important than my academic success and withdrew from the class in question, but I still felt horrible guilt over not following through. Even thinking about it now gives me a nasty feeling over it.

[stormborn]

I'm really surprised that your son was the only one not following directions! Dd started a similar program when she was about 4.5 and the majority of her team could be found picking flowers in the next field over or playing with each other at any given time. Most of them seemed to have fun, but it looked like trying to herd cats most of the time.

At 3 any lesson is just for fun, so I would totally skip it if he's not into it.

[lovbeingamommy]

Your situation sounds like exactly where we were at last year when my son was three, except it was golf. DS begged us to start with golf classes, we did, and all he wanted to do was hit the ball as far and as often as he could. He wouldn't listen very long to the coach about how to hold the club or about taking turns he just wanted to swing swing and swing. Needless to say, we quit going to class after about three or four times. I'd stop going...and maybe wait a year ot two or try another sport.

[lookatreestar]

i think it is personality as well. maybe he just isn't into it? and he'd like some other activity better? i think at just over 1 yr my ds would love soccer at that age, but he will dribble a ball across our living room! and at 3.5 my dd will not even kick a ball around the house/yard. she is just not interested, but she will read in her room for hours.

[leahjoy]

Thanks everyone for your responses! It seems unanimous that we shouldn't push the issue with Carson, and that is what we intend to do. I especially appreciate those of you who suggested that he is too young to be held to a commitment - makes sense. It will take the pressure off of all of us to just not go if he doesn't want to, and, like a lot of you suggested, we can spend the time doing something we all enjoy as a family
However, I do wish everyone could just be *nice* like most of you were. In particular, Sparkletts, why post a reply at all if you are just going to be rude?

[sparklett]

My intent was not be be rude. I DID chuckle a bit over this thread- we so often forget that our kids are three. Their outlook on life is based on exactly 3 years of life experience, and yet so often we let ourselves become concerned over teaching them values like commitment and the ideals associated with organized sports. If you just step back and look at it, just recognizing that these kids are three is often the best solution to many problems.

On MDC you will find that people often have opinions that differ from yours and have different ways of expressing those opinions. Personally, the very idea of forcing a very young child to take lessons in organized sports is totally outside my parenting philosophy, which is why I reacted as I did. You can take it or leave it. My apologies if I offended you- that was certainly not my intent.

[leahjoy]

Thanks Sparklett for your explanation and apology. I really DO care about doing what is best, and what is most important for my son's self-esteem, which is why I posted this thread in a gentle discipline forum. It is not my intention and never was, to force this on my child. From the start, he loved the idea, and at first, he enjoyed going. Like I said, it's very unstructured, and no actual soccer games are going on - just fun games and skill learning. The coach never forces anyone to participate in any of it if they don't want to. I wanted it to be fun, which is why it makes sense to stop going if it's no longer fun. I needed the gentle reminder of that, and appreciate you and everyone else taking the time to respond.