Do you find your friends' kids extraordinary?

[Boot]

I wasn't quite sure how to title this but it is something I've been wondering about for a while. Of course, I think MY children are special and wonderful in every way, but I also feel the same way about my friends' kids. They seem so gifted and advanced and have so many amazing talents. I don't just mean one family but about 4 different families that I know well. I keep thinking, well maybe that is the way everyone feels because you would only know these things if you know the child well. For instance, my friend's toddler has a huge vocabulary and speak in full sentences but among strangers he just points and grunts. But I've never heard anyone else mention this. Of course, it may be that they are just brilliant children. They certainly all have talented parents.

So do you all concur? Do you find the children you know well to be awe inspiring? Are you blown away by their abilities? Or do you find them average? Is there really any such thing as an average child?

[GatheringApples]

Hmm. I think that every child is inherently special, and that every child has unique gifts, but no, as a whole I do not think my children or my friends' children are awe-inspiringly extraordinary. I think they are lovely, special, unique and important, but I also think that about children I don't know.

[JamieCatheryn]

I figure everybody's got something that really special about them, maybe a talent, skill, strength, or brilliance in some area, and I do love to get to know them well enough to learn what it is.

[Ruthla]

No, my children are not special and wonderful in every way. They're unique human beings, with strengths and weaknesses and their own way of looking at the world. I love them dearly, but they haven't always been easy to live with and I've never been "blown away" by their abilities.

[nextcommercial]

Everybody has a gift. Not necessarily "gifted", but, has a gift in one or two areas. Sometimes it made me feel kind of bad or competitive with my own child.

I loved my dd's friends because each kid had something special to offer that my own child could learn from.

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by Boot

So do you all concur? Do you find the children you know well to be awe inspiring? Are you blown away by their abilities? Or do you find them average? Is there really any such thing as an average child?

Well, in my weaker moments I've been amazed by friends' kids' talents and a little self-conscious that my kids are so...regular.

[Honey693]

My friend has an incredibly verbal 3 year old. You'd think this kid was 10 or 11 if you heard her talk, it's crazy. I think that's amazing. Otherwise I think most kids, mine included, are pretty normal. Cute, sweet, funny and awesome, but normal.

[JollyGG]

I agree with previous posters who mentioned that every child has something unique and special about them and when you know them well you get a chance to witness all their amazing talents.

But if you are talking about kids being intellectually advanced or even kids all having similar ways of being extraordinary then I think it has a bit to with the people one associates with.

My husband and I have our strengths and we hang out and choose to interact with others who we share things in common with. We also work in fields that attract people with similar strengths as we have. Our friends draw from our career fields and our schooling.

Our children are products of our gene pool and our influence and our friends children are products of their gene pool and influence. When those friends share many things in common with us their children will also share many things in common. Therefore, it is easy to recognize my friends children as extraordinary in much the same way I recognize it in my own children.

So for example. If I am very intellectually advanced it is likely my kids will also be advanced. It is also likely that I will self select (perhaps unconsciously) friends who are intellectually gifted, even if they aren't advanced in the same way I am. There children will also therefore be more likely to be intellectually advanced.

[mrspineau]

My husband and I both think that our son is extraordinary. I feel like others think the same about him too. But, I do not feel that way about other children that I know well. I do think all children are special in their own ways, beautiful, wonderful little creatures, but not extraordinary.

[tallulahma]

i think all kids are cool. i love watching kids interact because every child i know brings something different.

but i do not think every child i meet is the most amazing thing in the world. i dont think there is the time to get to know other kids that well.

at least i dont have the time!

I do have a lot of friends that tell me stories of stuff their kid does and i think its awesome.

i think though that the wonder lifts a little after you have had a couple kids. People will say, "can you believe what xyz did?" and I think "yeah, I can. all kids do that at about that age!"


this post makes me smile though, i keep picturing myself walking through the park saying "wow! thats extraordinary!" to EVERYONE
lol

[crunchy_mommy]

*

[lilyka]

I am not making any since. never mind.

[meemee]

yes i think all my dd's friends are really special. volunteering in school i have gotten to see their many sides. the one who can find the way to console a hurting child, the one who is so funny he gets the crying child to laugh, the other child who is so thrilled to help the teacher, the kid who wears the multicoloured shoes and has a big smile from ear to ear, the kid who comes running up to me to say hi everywhere i met her even though i dont know her family.... yes each and every child has touched my heart. the child who sat at recess and let me into his life voluntarily when the teacher had been trying for so long, and told me exactly what's going on in his private life the reason why he is unable to do his hw or his sister does it for him - i felt special. i felt this special love for those kids whom i wanted to envelope under my wings and not let the painful world touch them... yes i want to be a mama hen to every one of my dd's friends, esp the bully and the 'trouble maker' when you truly get to see them in their element - with them just being themselves.

i dont care about brilliance. but when i see that sweet little 5 year old cry and get into my lap because my dd and his elder brother refuse to play with him, my heart breaks for him.

the things they say, their actions - touches me deeply every single time. even though i see their 'bad' side sometimes, i cant help but always remember the sweet part during those moments.

nothing, nothing captures my heart than seeing my dd play with her friends and their words and actions. if only we could truly 'see' them, truly experience them you could never wage war with their parents.

my dd was having a hard time in ps. her 3 year old, yeah 3 year old friend would watch out for her expression and if he saw her playing alone or sad he'd always come over and do stuff to make her feel better, to laugh, to want to play again. even after all these years whenever i think of that little boy i cant help but cry.

[Squrrl]

I read the original poster as not so much asking whether other people actually thought that their kids or their friends' kids were exceptional objectively speaking, but whether they got that same feeling of "man, you're so awesome" about their friends' kids as most parents do about their own. I do for some, but not all. Partly seems to depend on how much time I'm spending with them, which reinforces my theory that almost everyone is a pretty worthwhile person if you really get to know them. (Not everyone, mind, just most people.) Usually I'm most amazed, though, by the things where they're advanced and my daughter is not, not so much because I'm jealous or something, but because the contrast is greater.

But, yeah, especially with my really close friends or kids I spend a lot of time around, I tend to think they're pretty cool, subjectively, and like them better than other kids, whatever the objective reality is.

[madskye]

No, but I live in the NYC area, am unfortunately jaded, and it takes a lot for me to find anyone awe-inspiring or be blown away! Seriously, if I lived in a different place, I might answer differently. Here, I think there is a lot of pressure to be exceptional from the cradle and for the most part--despite what I'm told, I think most of the kids I know including my own, are a mixture of awesome and average.

My BFF's 7 year old son is obviously academically gifted--but I'm not blown away by that, knowing her and her husband and their own gifts. He's a great kid and he asks neat questions but he is not rewiring my home any time soon or filling me with awe.

One of my other friends has a baby now who is completely DELICIOUS, maybe a little more so than usual but maybe that's just because she's happy when I hold her and play with her.

I had a rough day with my daughter, but she has her moments where I think she is quite special. And then...there are days like today. But she has a tremendous vocabulary and an amazing memory.

Another friends child has "crystal child" tendencies. She's kind of neat in some ways. In other ways, she is a very tedious 10 year old. She has two teenage brothers who are fantastic boys, and socially--they have blown me away. They have incredible manners and are so well-spoken for 13 and 15. I love hanging out with them. But they leave their underwear all over their house. Seriously, you cannot sit down without a pair of boxers falling off the couch over there. When they start picking up their underwear, I will be in awe of them!

I guess, I love all my friends kids, but I feel like the more I know them, the more like people they seem and the less remarkable?

[tanyam926]

To be completely honest I do think my kids are extaordinary (and not in a bc I love them so much way) in that they seem to me to be incredibly intelligent, artistic, philosophical, and have amazing senses of humor at early ages.

I always thought that the reason I see all this is bc they are mine and I really do marvel at what they say and do, I don't spent any time comparing them to other kids since I don't know any that well.

I am not great w/kids in general and I find them cute when w/their parents and away from me but often annoying generally speaking (not to be mean, I think my own kids are annoying too!) so I never think that other children are especially amazing, even my own niece and nephew who I know pretty well.

I sound like a horrible person but I'm trying to qualify my answer bc I think that those people who are brilliant w/children (like great teachers, etc) really do see how every child is special and amazing and can marvel at them individually, while I just mainly think my own kids are cool.

[aprons_and_acorns]

Originally Posted by meemee

yes i think all my dd's friends are really special. volunteering in school i have gotten to see their many sides. the one who can find the way to console a hurting child, the one who is so funny he gets the crying child to laugh, the other child who is so thrilled to help the teacher, the kid who wears the multicoloured shoes and has a big smile from ear to ear, the kid who comes running up to me to say hi everywhere i met her even though i dont know her family.... yes each and every child has touched my heart. the child who sat at recess and let me into his life voluntarily when the teacher had been trying for so long, and told me exactly what's going on in his private life the reason why he is unable to do his hw or his sister does it for him - i felt special. i felt this special love for those kids whom i wanted to envelope under my wings and not let the painful world touch them... yes i want to be a mama hen to every one of my dd's friends, esp the bully and the 'trouble maker' when you truly get to see them in their element - with them just being themselves.

i dont care about brilliance. but when i see that sweet little 5 year old cry and get into my lap because my dd and his elder brother refuse to play with him, my heart breaks for him.

the things they say, their actions - touches me deeply every single time. even though i see their 'bad' side sometimes, i cant help but always remember the sweet part during those moments.

nothing, nothing captures my heart than seeing my dd play with her friends and their words and actions. if only we could truly 'see' them, truly experience them you could never wage war with their parents.

my dd was having a hard time in ps. her 3 year old, yeah 3 year old friend would watch out for her expression and if he saw her playing alone or sad he'd always come over and do stuff to make her feel better, to laugh, to want to play again. even after all these years whenever i think of that little boy i cant help but cry.

I loved reading this whole post and found myself nodding along throughout. My child's friends are amazing and wonderful people and each one brings a special joy into my life. So I would say that I'm not so much astounded by their abilities but that I feel lucky to know them individually. They are basically just a bunch of ordinary kids but that's kind of like saying an ordinary snowflake-- each one is beautiful and unique.

[Girlprof]

I guess yes and no. I think DS is pretty extraordinary in several ways. He's hyper verbal and very gifted at certain physical tasks (bicycling, dance). DD is very sweet, sings very well, and is probably above average in verbal skills for her age - but she's not off the charts like DS is. It feels sort of odd, like playing favorites to say this, and of course I love them equally. However, DS is more outside the norm in what he can do.

DS has had two friends since infancy and they are also hyper articulate. These three went to preschool together and I'm sure they fed off each other. That is, their days were spent with other children who were quite gifted verbally and a sort of verbal snowball developed. But in other ways, these are all normal kids. They all have dramatic personalities, but friend #1 is gifted athletically, which the other two aren't. Friend #2 has a fantastic imagination.

So I guess I would say, I do sometimes see extraordinary aspects to my own children and to some of their friends. Of course each child is special and wonderful in their own way. But I also see some real differences in ability as well.

[shnitzel]

In general I tend to think every kid is amazing. Not just my friend's children but random kids at the park. I am always amazed at what they have learnt in such a short amount of time. Kids are always coming up to me and talking to me and they never fail to impress me.
I find my own kid amazing b/c I have watched her develop from a helpless lump to a real person and it never ceases to amaze me how much she knows at 14 months. I am not one to think she is a genius but the fact thata 14 month old can understand almost everything I say and even say some words is just amazing, regardless of whether it is normal and I feel the same with all children I see which is why I always have a conversation with them when they stop to talk instead of ignoring them.

I think the closer you are to a kid the more amazing the child will seem b/c you will have more closely witnessed the lump to person. So seeing them saying intelligent things seems more amazing when you also watched them struggle to sit up for the first time.

[Boot]

OP here. Thanks for all the replies. I am one that tends to think all children are amazing in their own way but I'm used to school age children (teacher) and not so used to preschoolers which is about the age group of the kids I am thinking of. Some of the things I am blown away by are probably well within the range of normal i.e. a 3 year old hopping across the room on one foot, a 2 year old singing in perfect pitch, an 18 month old speaking in long sentences, a toddler retelling a story to strangers in perfect detail. I haven't noticed other children doing these things but probably that's just because I don't see enough of their day. My son and his best friend are both starting preschool in a couple of weeks so I'm looking forward to hopefully getting to know some more children. I'm sure I will think they are 'awe-inspiring' too. lol.

Thinking about it, my mum is the same way about me and my sister. She still thinks everything we do is astounding and she probably felt the same way about our friends. Must be a family trait.