When people just don't understand... - Page 3

[cdmommie]

Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties

People who don't get it will never get it, so just keep saying no and don't even try to explain yourself or get them to understand. My dad is like that. The first five years of my married life was hell because of it. So I really feel for you

Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever read a financial book? Something like how the rich get rich? You are making a couple obvious misktakes. One of them is your hubby has the potential to bring home a nice paycheck and get his family ahead but he likes teaching so instead you are struggling. He should suck it up for a little bit. He can always teach later. When we were making 50+K we bought a car that was 17K. You are paying $570 a month. I know you said you thought he was going to be making more but, over six figures? I know people who make hundreds of thousands a year and they drive a 50K car. So you are saddled with this big payment and he went on to teach. Hmmmm. (sorry can't get past this) Have you tried to sell the car on craig's list?

Something that I noticed on this forum is that rich people don't spend near what they could and struggling people have crazy mortgages and high car payments. And why are you going back to school? I think you should take care of your finances and then go to school. That is another trend I see here. Just my opinion. I am only trying to help.

Our car was NOT 50k. It was 24K new, 2 and a half years ago (and we were BOTH working at the time). And we still owe 20K on it because we had to roll in two POS cars and so we are WAY WAY WAY upsidedown. So no, we can not sell it on craigslist. We would sell it for 10 or 12K and still owe 8 or 10K. I know it was a mistake, I think I have mentioned that, probably more than once, but the past is the past and I can't really do anything about it now.

And as for school, I am in school so we don't have to pay my $540/month student loans. I TRIED AND TRIED to find a job so I would be able to help my family and I couldn't get one that would pay enough for childcare, so I HAD to do something, and school is the only way I know to save that 540/month. I DO NOT enjoy school and I DO want to work, but lets face it, if no one hires me there isn't really a lot a can do... And yes, I am still applying for job, after job, after job.

[lolar2]

Were you not able to get a forbearance on your student loans?

[Logan]

I really think your DH needs to just suck it up and get a good paying job for a few years. I just cannot understand it. If my family was in poverty and I had the earning capacity to fix it I would do whatever it took to improve my kids life. Its okay to follow your heart and live day to day when you are young and childless, but he has a family to take care of now. In a few years when you are out of debt and on top of things again there will be many more years for him to teach and seek joy in his career. But right now the focus needs to be on making as much as you can as fast as possible to get out of the crippling debt. I know it sucks for him, but seriously, he is choosing his family to be in crisis over a temporary loss of job satisfaction.

[SubliminalDarkness]

I worked full-time for five years and never paid child care. I worked nights and weekends. My DH worked the Mon-Fri 9 to 5 job and I worked the crappy shift, but it's what had to be done.

I agree with others. Either you need to find some way to work, or your DH needs to let go of doing the kind of work he wants to for a while so that he can make enough money to get your finances sorted out.


Additionally, I do understand where you're coming from on people not getting it. I wouldn't take your family's offer to go over your budget as an insult. Sometimes a fresh set of eyes can find something another has overlooked.

[Coconut Chronicles]

Originally Posted by Logan

I really think your DH needs to just suck it up and get a good paying job for a few years. I just cannot understand it. If my family was in poverty and I had the earning capacity to fix it I would do whatever it took to improve my kids life. Its okay to follow your heart and live day to day when you are young and childless, but he has a family to take care of now. In a few years when you are out of debt and on top of things again there will be many more years for him to teach and seek joy in his career. But right now the focus needs to be on making as much as you can as fast as possible to get out of the crippling debt. I know it sucks for him, but seriously, he is choosing his family to be in crisis over a temporary loss of job satisfaction.

I completely agree with this.


OP I really hope things start looking up for you soon.

[2cutiekitties]

Originally Posted by cdmommie

Our car was NOT 50k.

no I know that. I guess I was trying to make a point that didnt pan out....I am not an articulate person. But when I was in my twenties and we had a level of income, I lived not past it, but at it, when I should have lived under it. I would be so freakin rich right now if I had. And I noticed (now in my late 30's) that the people who are successful have a certain attitude that I was tying to say, but dont know how. At your level, they never would have bought a 24K car, they would have bought a 12K car. See what I mean. I am just trying to save you the heck I went through. Because once you have the realization, the whole world opens up.


Didnt mean to offend

[kittywitty]

I feel you about the teaching job. On paper my dh makes $42k which would be AWESOME. In reality, we bring home almost $33k after required dues and deductions and taxes. And that doesn't count medical insurance. Our insurance would be over $1600 a month so we have state medicaid. We would only bring in about $14,400 if we had real insurance-which would be nice, as a lot of docs around here don't take medicaid or treat you like crap if you have it. And that's working overtime. It's insanity. So another from me. I totally feel you. We are doing better this year than we have been, but it's hard when people don't realize that 4 hour car trip to see them or presents (even if they stress "inexpensive" but still material goods) for a big family for 800 events is a huge burden on people. It's not easy for people to see outside their box.