How to get rid of the paci without CIO?

[KellyandBean]

Does anyone have advice on helping get rid of a paci on a younger baby for night time comforting without having to go cold turkey?

Details:

My DD is a few days away from 6 months. She was a severe colic baby until 3.5 months and we had to use everything in the book to soothe her. Now at 6 months she never goes to sleep without her paci. She has given it up mostly during the day and only uses it at naps and bedtime to go to sleep. She did this on her own without any encouragement for me. During the day she now sucks on her fingers. As a thumb sucker until age 8 i have no issues with letting her have the paci as a comfort because i remember how much comfort my thumb gave me and how horrible it was when someone tried to make me stop. But the paci is causing her to wake between sleep cycles and cry. She isn't old enough to be able to find it in the dark and put it back in her mouth so i have to get up every time she wakes. This is REALLY effecting her night time sleep as she is up every 2 hours for something to suck on (breast or paci) and then her naps are often very short and she wakes crying for more sleep and upset because the binky has fallen from her mouth. Sometimes i can soothe her back into a longer nap with nursing and rocking or just by popping the binky back in but most of the time it doesn't work and she wakes from her naps cranky and overtired. I'm on the verge of going cold turkey with her over a long weekend and just throwing them all out. I'm TERRIFIED of doing this though as i don't like the idea of CIO and she already has such a difficult time going to sleep even with the paci. I know if she were able to get rid of it though she would become a better sleeper and a happier girl all around so i feel like it would be for the best in the long run to say goodbye to it now.

I was reading about poking holes in it but i wonder if this would work for a younger baby or if she would still just get frustrated and CIO anyway? I am thinking maybe i should introduce a lovely before i take the paci away but I'm not sure how to do this? Everything i read online that talks about weaning from a paci seems to be for babies over a year. Is it even possible for me to get rid of it without her having to go through a great deal of distress?

TIA!!! Any help is very much appreciated!

[Youngfrankenstein]

I am a few months ahead of you on this so I think you just need to relax! Easier said than done. This is my 4th baby but my first to "need" a paci. In the beginning I was really nervous about it and really hated it but I needed it to get through. In a few weeks your baby will be past that probably. I know that my dd still needs help going back to sleep sometimes during a really short nap that I know should be longer but I don't think the paci is causing it.

Now that she is a little bit older, I really do try to keep it for naps and bed time but I also have one to give her in the car if she's really fussing.

I think we need to ask ourselves what's so terrible about it. At first I was worried about when I would wean her off of it because she shouldn't have it too long. But I have 3 other kids who sucked their thumbs for 5 or 6 years so what was the big deal.

I also can say that she has 3 things to help her go to sleep without crying: a seahorse music box toy, a paci, and a blankie. So I know that as she gets older she can keep one or two things from this ritual and I can lose the paci eventually.

[Alisse]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein

I think we need to ask ourselves what's so terrible about it.

Good point. Pacifying satisfies such an important psychological need for babies and young children, and pacifiers seem to get such a bad rap for reasons i've never fully understood, (maybe they're analogous to the reasons against babywearing and cosleeping?).

[tzs]

i totally get you. we had the same thing. i had no problem with the idea of the paci but i was waking up several times a night to replace it and occassionally had to run to stick it back in to extend her naps because she was unable to replace it herself. it just seemed so....messed up, i guess.
i also was wondering how to wean from it to solve the problem but it kind of just solved itself in the meantime. i haven't had to run to replace it in so long and i think now at 11 months she is starting to reject it (a little to early IMO cause she also is having trouble falling asleep without it.....totally new issue here!)

[november]

Originally Posted by Alisse

Good point. Pacifying satisfies such an important psychological need for babies and young children, and pacifiers seem to get such a bad rap for reasons i've never fully understood, (maybe they're analogous to the reasons against babywearing and cosleeping?).

I agree with these sentiments. . Honestly, before my DD was born, I swore I would never use a pacifier but she has NEEDED it from a very young age. I broke down at around 2 weeks old and let her have it and life has been much, much easier since then because she has a strong need for sucking. My daughter has dropped down to using the pacifier only at night/nap time (her doings, not mine) and I'm not even going to get myself worried about it yet.

She does wake up panicked in the middle of the night sometimes searching for it, but typically she's fine. She did this moreso around 5-6 months old and seems to have grown out of it. Maybe your daughter will do the same? She falls asleep with it in and then it falls out and she's fine for the rest of the night. I figured if I was still breastfeeding, she would be nursing instead so it's not a big deal if she is fulfilling that need with the pacifier. If that's what it takes for her to sleep soundly, well, I'm all for it. IMO, a good night's rest with a pacifier beats the pants off of NO sleep/hysterically upset + no pacifier, kwim?

[luckymamaoftwo]

I wish I had some good advice but am in the EXACT SAME POSITION...and curious to read other responses.

[ladymeag]

Mine started spitting it out at 7 months. We also dealt with the colic up to six months. Once he needed it less, he wasn't as interested it and we stopped offering it. We started with not replacing it when it fell out. Then we stopped replacing it when he first fussed and tried back-patting and bouncing (this didn't always work, of course). Then we stopped offering it for major fussing. One day I noticed we hadn't used it in about a week - so I tossed 'em all.

I think if you watch for the cues, they'll let you know when they are good to give it up. (Like most other weaning. ) He does still make the motions with his mouth and jaw like he's sucking on something but it doesn't seem to bother him that he doesn't have the pacifier anymore.

HTH!

[MommyMad]

My 9.5 month old still uses his pacifier for naps and bedtime. At 5 or 6 months we went through the same thing where I was exhausted of having to place it back in his mouth during the wee hours of the nigtht. However, that wasn't every night. In looking back, I think he probably would have fussed/cried more if it weren't for the paci. I think babies go through so much, that it's only natural that some need some soothing mechanism.

More than likely, he will stop on his own. Like another poster, mine does the sucking movements even when he has chosen to spit the paci out after he's fallen asleep (which I think looks sooooo cute!). I too see him needing it less & less.

I guess you can look at it like this too shall pass. I also noticed that the nights he was fussy due to the paci falling out, there were other needs that had to be met. Bringing him into bed with us and replacing his paci quickly didn't always do the trick. I noticed that he would also be a little fussy in his sleep, so I attributed it to a growth spurt or some milestone he was trying to reach.

Hugs to you and hang in there.

[spmamma]

We went through the same thing at that age with DD. I got so tired of getting up to put it back in that I threw them all away in frustration. At that point I was willing to try anything to help my high needs babe fall asleep and stay asleep at night (without CIO) that I tried co-sleeping. Nursing her side-lying fulfilled both our needs: her need to have me close and nurse often and my need for sleep.

[Katie T]

I agree with letting her decide when she is done, it does suck to have to replace it at night (been there done that) I let my kids decide when they were done for one it was 1 day shy of her 4th birthday, the second was 3yrs 3 months and my last (a thumb sucker) was around 14 months. I was shocked and saddened by the last one. I think thumb sucking is so cute on a baby and it was awesome that I didn't have to put it back in her mouth in the middle of the night. Now she sucks a boobie all night long

This to will pass, beings she has given it up during the day on her own I think she has a higher chance of giving up at night on her own sooner than say my kids did. Before you know it even if she is still using it she will be able to find it and put it back in all by herself. You could try setting a extra in the corner of her bed and showing her where you are going to set it (once she gets older) so she always has a extra as well.

[KellyandBean]

Originally Posted by tzs

i haven't had to run to replace it in so long and i think now at 11 months she is starting to reject it (a little to early IMO cause she also is having trouble falling asleep without it.....totally new issue here!)

So do you think she figured out how to get it back into her mouth on her own? I keep wondering when that will happen but i guess it is at least 4 months away. :/

[KellyandBean]

Originally Posted by Alisse

Good point. Pacifying satisfies such an important psychological need for babies and young children, and pacifiers seem to get such a bad rap for reasons i've never fully understood, (maybe they're analogous to the reasons against babywearing and cosleeping?).

Well while i totally get what you are saying the thing that is 'terrible' about it is that she can't pick it up and put it back into her mouth on her own so i am left getting up every hours or 2 all night long. So i wake in the morning exhausted and can't be as good of a mom as i could be on a decent nights sleep. Otherwise i'd let her have the paci for as long as she wanted it until she gave it up on her own.

[aramat]

With my first, I took away her paci at age 5 mos and replaced it with nursing -- no tears, she didn't even notice it was gone. With my 2nd, I was working full-time so my husband started swaddling her the 'wrong' way--with some of the blanket covering her mouth to hold the paci in! I can't say this sounds safe, but we did it....then she didn't wean from the paci til age 3. Now with my third, we've just avoided the paci altogether--we cosleep and nurse during the night, and I sleep very well that way. Your baby MAY be going through a phase where it may be easy to take the paci away; have you tried?

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by KellyandBean

Well while i totally get what you are saying the thing that is 'terrible' about it is that she can't pick it up and put it back into her mouth on her own so i am left getting up every hours or 2 all night long. So i wake in the morning exhausted and can't be as good of a mom as i could be on a decent nights sleep. Otherwise i'd let her have the paci for as long as she wanted it until she gave it up on her own.

My 8 month old stopped sleeping well at about 4 months. She still has many nights where she's waking every 2 hours. I think you are assuming it's related to the paci. She showed many signs of sucking her thumb as an infant and I was fine with that but she never quite used it to sooth herself.

I really don't want to be nursing my baby back to sleep every time at night.
I have a 3-hour-rule for myself but I am often breaking it just to get back to bed. Lately she's been sleeping for 3 hour stretches until about 5:30 am when she can wake every 1/2 hour until 7-8 am. So I don't think it's all pacifier related.

[confustication]

I don't think it's the pacifier causing the night waking. My 11 month old wakes every 45(ish) minutes to nurse, and has throughout his life. A two hour stretch between wakings would be AMAZING around here.

He used a pacifier occasionally for the first couple months, but won't any longer- if I could get him to, I would absolutely use it for naps and nighttime now.

My oldest was done with them (on her own) before 6 months. My second loved his, and used them a lot- I was also frustrated at a few months old because I had to put them back- however, that was a very short period, and he learned to find it/replace it himself by 6 months or so. He gave them up shortly after a year, though he gleefully grabbed one yesterday while we were cleaning. At age 2, he popped it in his mouth, then decided it was boring and dropped it again.

I wouldn't worry about it at this age.

[spmamma]

nak

I have to agree with others who've said it's not ust the paci that's causing the wake-ups. I said before that we ditched the paci around 5 months with DD because she kept spitting it out and waking up. Co-sleeping and nursing while I slept helped a lot, but she still woke up all the time. So while I didn't eliminate the wake-ups I did create a sleep situation that enabled me to get some rest instead of having to get up out of bed every two hours.

[Peace+Hope]

could you start "helping" your bean take his thumb instead? we haven't used a pacifier (not opposed, he was just early getting his thumb), but he did need help for a few weeks to get and keep his thumb enough to be a soother. now he can find it in his sleep.

i realize it wouldn't be an overnight fix, but maybe faster than what you're doing now, which you may have to do for months longer?

i position my LO on his side so that his thumb is easier to get, but he's still not rolling. maybe a sleep positioner could help too...

[tzs]

Originally Posted by KellyandBean

So do you think she figured out how to get it back into her mouth on her own? I keep wondering when that will happen but i guess it is at least 4 months away. :/

honestly...i don't think she ever figured it out. she didn't have a nuk during the day so while my friend's babe of the same age who had the nuk clipped to him constantly could just pick it up and stick it in his mouth whenever he wanted, she just couldn;t really figure it out. and that was during the day so there was no way she was finding it in the dark somewhere in her crib and replacing them. heck...half the time i couldn't even find them in there....i had spares though. i think like some other posters said, she just eventually didn't freak out in between sleep cycles after having spit it out.

i know some people don;t think the paci is the problem but in our case i do know it was the paci that was causing the waking because at naptime she would occasionally wake after 45 minutes or one cycle crying i.e.still totally tired and nuk replacement would extend the nap one more cycle and she would wake up happy and chatty.

it does suck but we just waited it out. on the brighter side it was a way easier issue just having to wake and quick stick the nuk back in then having to nurse or rock her back to sleep or deal with a baby that was really unhappy for some other reason.

[elmh23]

Originally Posted by tzs

i know some people don;t think the paci is the problem but in our case i do know it was the paci that was causing the waking because at naptime she would occasionally wake after 45 minutes or one cycle crying i.e.still totally tired and nuk replacement would extend the nap one more cycle and she would wake up happy and chatty.

Just something to think about- my daughter was a crappy sleeper. Always woke either 45min or 90min during the night and nap, until she was a bit over 3. She didn't take a paci. Instead, she'd wake and have to nurse or suck on my finger or sometimes (rarely it seems) roll over.

My two younger children were much better sleepers and they took/take pacis and sleep great compared to their older sister.

Bottom line, some children sleep great no matter what, some sleep horribly no matter what.


OP- Good luck, I have no clue how to wean from a paci. My second child did it rather unexpectedly at 10 months and with my third child, I am praying he takes it for a long time!

[ACsMom]

It's easy to avoid CIO - just hold her and comfort her if/when she cries because she doesn't have the paci or can't/won't nurse. Make sure she's well-fed, though, and dry diaper and everything, so she's comfortable. You'd probably have MORE night-waking for a while if you go cold turkey, but in all likelihood if she's allowed to mourn the loss of the paci, she'll be able to give it up and sleep better.

You could try letting her have the paci during the day only? Just throwing that out there. One thing I would NOT do (speaking from experience) - don't take it away from her at night, then waffle and give it back to her (like if she cries too hard or something) - it's intermittent reinforcement, and it'll teach her to cry and fuss longer. Good luck - I know this is a tough one. Go with your gut.