8 y/o and sleep issues

[raisinghumans]

I will need to keep this brief as I don't have much time to myself right now even though it is nearly 11pm.

My 8 y/o is really not doing well with her bedtime routine and overnight sleep.

She refuses to go to bed on her own so I do lie down with her, I mostly always have...I had hoped by now she could settle herself. So I lie down with her and it takes her usually an hour to fall asleep, at which point I try to get up but with the slightest movement she jolts herself awake. I try to tell her that everything is ok, mommy has some things to do and she should go back to sleep...doesn't happen....she cries or follows me around. I have had no time to spend with dh, no time to do all the things that moms need to do when I finally get a moment to myself. I have had noooooo moments to myself lately and her keeping me tied to her at bedtime is driving me crazy.

I have convinced her right now to wait a few minutes while mommy does some work but she keeps coming in and asking when I will be ready to lie down with her again.

I am feeling a bit like I am being held hostage. Sorry, but I do.

Other factors...she has started sleep walking as well so she is up a lot at night...again playing into me feeling like I am on duty 24/7. I expect this may be a contributing factor to her maybe worrying at bedtime.

Any suggestions would be great.

[pbjmama]

Can you tell us more about her day and what she does to prepare for bed? Does she have alot of physical activity so she is tired? Does she have screen time before bed? Have you talked about any fears she may have related to going to sleep, dark, sleep walking?

[Alyantavid]

I'd set a regular bedtime routine. I do still sometimes lay down with my 8 year old but I leave before he's asleep. He'll lay in bed for hours and not sleep, but wake up cranky if he has to get up earlier than he'd like. So we have a set bedtime routine. Bath, teeth, story, bed. And he's in bed at 8 so that if it does take him awhile to go to sleep, he'll still get enough.

I've found with my kids, they love to talk about anything (especially things that are bothering them) right before bed. So I hang out in bed with them and let them spill. They can always get up and come into our bed at any time too.

It sounds, to me, like there is something going on with the crying and sleep walking. Will she talk at all about what's bothering her?