Waldorf perspective on Father Christmas

[mamaUK]

Help please!!!! My 5 year old girl just said:
'Father Christmas doesn't come in real life. Mum's and Dad's fill stockings.'
I didn't know how to respond. Don't want to spoil the magic, but that might already have happened/seems like it has. I stilll want the excitement of Christmas Eve for her.... I just didn't know what to say really. Really need some advice on this.

[LuxPerpetua]

I wouldn't say anything personally other than ,"Ah!," which is my typical response when there is really nothing to say. I'd just continue your regular annual holiday traditions and readings and let it be. For our dd, it's important to us that she not believe in Santa Claus but that doesn't mean we don't read Santa Claus stories and such. I think Christmas is exciting and wondrous on its own terms when you have rich family traditions, so not believing in Santa Claus shouldn't make much difference. One thing we've become adept at in our household is a two-fold understanding of things--the real and the imagined. For instance, dd asks about rainbows, and I tell stories of rainbow fairies sliding down sunbeams. She asks again, and I tell her that sunbeams like to jump on raindrops and make colored footprints. She asks again and I tell her that sunlight likes to break apart when it touches water in the air and that makes us see lots of colors. She loves all 3 explanations and the "real" explanation doesn't appear to dampen her love of the former imagined ones. In your particular situation, if you choose not to ignore it then you can talk about St. Nicholas and how he was a kind man who enjoyed giving things to children to make them happy, and how parents like to act out this story with their own children. It keeps it in the realm of pretend while at the same time acknowledging the reality. As long as you don't seem flustered by it, it seems unlikely that your child will be upset or bothered in the long-run.

[melamama]

I would agree on not reacting. It really sounds like something another child has said, and she's repeating it to see how you take it.

We believe what we believe, and regardless of how old the child is, we continue our traditions. I remember hearing last year of a parent in our W. school talk about forgetting the chocolate in their child's shoe on St. Nicholas day and how grumpy the child was...the boy was 17. He knew that his parents filled the shoes, but part of him still wanted the magic (and maybe the chocolate). And really on some level it's not the chocolate (or the gifts) but the opportunity to remember what was special about bishop Nicholas and that giving desire, and the magic to make it possible.

[TulsiLeaf]

Originally Posted by mamaUK

Help please!!!! My 5 year old girl just said:
'Father Christmas doesn't come in real life. Mum's and Dad's fill stockings.'
I didn't know how to respond. Don't want to spoil the magic, but that might already have happened/seems like it has. I stilll want the excitement of Christmas Eve for her.... I just didn't know what to say really. Really need some advice on this.

M said this to me one day. What I told her was yes that Mummy and Papi fill the stockings, but that is because Father Christmas was so busy, so he left the bits for us to fill so he could go onto the other house. (oh wow run on!)

that satiated her for now.

[zoebird]

i think the main thing is to carry on with the traditions, and let her form her own ideas.

if you want to address it (i don't know how old your DD is), then i would talk about it from a St Nick perspective, begin to talk about the symbology of it all, etc. we do the peppermint and orange thing, for example, because of the medicinal properties. not that DS knows this, just that it's valuable.

Also, we are looking to celebrate it in winter, so we are looking to focus on the herbal side of things, rather than the dates for St Nick, etc. it's confusing living in the southern hemisphere.

[Jorinde]

My DD asked me about this when she was 5, and since I know her well and know how she feels, I told her the truth. She was very relieved, because there were too many things not adding up in her head...she is a very analytical thinker. She is however helping me now keeping the traditions up for her brothers, like a little elf!

[mamaUK]

Originally Posted by Jorinde

My DD asked me about this when she was 5, and since I know her well and know how she feels, I told her the truth. She was very relieved, because there were too many things not adding up in her head...she is a very analytical thinker. She is however helping me now keeping the traditions up for her brothers, like a little elf!

This is just it, I don't know whether I should be truthful with her or not but still keep up the traditions. I'm having a really hard time deciding and she's obviously figured it out and is looking to me for a yes or no answer. It's like she wants it clear.