After-school classes for five-year olds...what do you think?

[quelindo]

We homeschool, so maybe I just have a different philosophy than my friends do about how much a kid should be scheduled, but I was surprised by a recent e-mail from a friend trying to coordinate after-school activities.

Last year 4K was half-day but this year my friends' kids are going to 5K full-time M-F. And they are also signing their kids up for about three after-school activities: dance, swimming and acting.

Is it just me, or does this seem like a lot to you? Maybe my kid is just happier with more down time. As I said, we're homeschooling, and I'm going to try to get him in one art class and one storytime per week during the day. We may also try to get to a local homeschool group get-together occasionally. A full day of school plus a class afterwards seems like so much!

[4Marmalade]

It would definitely be too much for my 5 year old dd. She goes to school full days Mon, Wed and alternate Fri's. She is exhausted on school days and falls into bed by 6pm. We're lucky if she gets through dinner. In the past we have done swimming lessons one day/week at 5:45pm but only because we could take dd1 and ds1 at the same time. I could take dd on her off school days but with two younger ones for me to watch at the same time it's too hectic.

I am a SAHM and my dh has decent enough hours that we can arrange most activities to suit our family's schedule. We avoid many weekend activities because we want to spend our weekends together. I do know quite a few families who do a lot more activities than we do.

[spmamma]

It seems like way too much to me. There's no way I'd schedule my 5 YO like that. There just isn't any down time left in the day if they go to school full time, then off to class. Where is the free play and family time?

[cycle]

Originally Posted by New Mama

We homeschool, so maybe I just have a different philosophy than my friends do about how much a kid should be scheduled, but I was surprised by a recent e-mail from a friend trying to coordinate after-school activities.

Last year 4K was half-day but this year my friends' kids are going to 5K full-time M-F. And they are also signing their kids up for about three after-school activities: dance, swimming and acting.

Is it just me, or does this seem like a lot to you? Maybe my kid is just happier with more down time. As I said, we're homeschooling, and I'm going to try to get him in one art class and one storytime per week during the day. We may also try to get to a local homeschool group get-together occasionally. A full day of school plus a class afterwards seems like so much!

Are you asking for advice with plans to go back to your friend with the opinions you get here? I doubt it. I came to this thread thinking that it was going to be for an MDC member looking for information and advice for herself and her children, not yet another post judging someone else's parenting. I don't get it, thats all this post is, a means for the OP to be judgmental of her friend's parenting, there are so many of these kinds of posts here lately and its just so uncalled for. Its wrapped up in a friendly little bow so as not to look like what it is, a call for others to commiserate on the judgment of your friend's parenting. "Is it just me or does this seem like a lot to you?" Why aren't more parents just being attentive to their own parenting instead of straight up judging someone else's for the sake of conversation?

[MJB]

My 4.5 yr. old is going to full-day K (8-3) and also playing soccer once a week. I know from experience that 3 activities at a time leads to burnout (on my part!) My second grader has soccer 3x a week and I'm pretty sure that's going to be a bit much for me. But the kids love it and would sign up for every activity in the world if I let them. They have boundless energy.

My oldest was homeschooled for K and I let him pick 3 activities at a time then.

[quelindo]

Originally Posted by cycle

Are you asking for advice with plans to go back to your friend with the opinions you get here? I doubt it. I came to this thread thinking that it was going to be for an MDC member looking for information and advice for herself and her children, not yet another post judging someone else's parenting. I don't get it, thats all this post is, a means for the OP to be judgmental of her friend's parenting, there are so many of these kinds of posts here lately and its just so uncalled for. Its wrapped up in a friendly little bow so as not to look like what it is, a call for others to commiserate on the judgment of your friend's parenting. "Is it just me or does this seem like a lot to you?" Why aren't more parents just being attentive to their own parenting instead of straight up judging someone else's for the sake of conversation?

Uh, wow.

I'm honestly interested to see if other kids actually do thrive on being more busy than my son. I know *I* tend to get overwhelmed easily and I always assume my kid does, too. He doesn't seem to *need* a lot of stimulation. I love my friends and know they're wonderful parents. I just feel like an outsider sometimes and wondered what other people thought.

[Aubergine68]

I avoid doing any evening/weekend activities for my kids in the fall when they start their K year (half days here) and transition to grade one (full day) I figure there is enough demand on their energy already. We can add something in January if they seem bored. Will start activities in grade two - maybe one in the evening and maybe something on Saturdays.

[GoBecGo]

I used to go to school all day and then horseride, go to brownies, swim and do art classes in the evenings. There was plenty of time to dream/play at school, because my teacher had 23kids to deal with. Isn't one of the things with homeschooling that one can accomplish a lot more learning in a lot less time? I probably got 10mins a DAY one-on-one with my teacher, if that. I'm sure if i'd had more intensity at school i'd have needed more downtime at home.

[squimp]

I think it depends a lot on the kid. My DD likes lots of afterschool activities, we did 3 a week in kindergarten and will do 4-5 this year. She can handle it and doesn't like having that much down time. She's an only though and there aren't a lot of kids in our neighborhood to hang out with, so that makes a difference as well.

[meemee]

it really doesnt matter what you and i think.

its what our kids want. we couldnt afford to but if we could absolutely my high energy dd would have loved to have gone for afterschool classes every day of the week.

instead we did the park or playgroups. but after i picked her up from school we went and did something and came home to cook eat and go to bed.

at 2 we were finishing off her gymnastics. i had just started woh and she was going to a dc for 8 to 10 hours a day. her gymas. class was at 7. once a week. i'd pick her up, eat dinner and then go for the gymnastics class. she HATED giving that up. so instead we went to the park.

to each his own. some kids need a lot of activity. some dont.

and yes GOBECGO school was a huge downtime for me and is so for dd. even now at almost 8 after sitting for those long hours she wants to run around and play.

[LuckyMommaToo]

Not too much for my energetic, extroverted DS. Probably too much for ME, logistically, but he's almost always in at least two activities.
-e

[eepster]

DS needs tons of activity. It's not like in the old days when you could just send kids out to play. There just aren't as many moms at home, so there are fewer and fewer kids in the neighborhood. To get together with other kids it is easiest just to find them at various activities.

Your trying to schedule these playdates so that your kids can be active with her kids after all. It's not like you're trying to get them together for a big group nap.

[lucky_mia]

My 4.5 year olds like to be busy. Sunday it was the zoo and then a park, Monday they were in a summer program (including swimming lessons) from 8-3 and then they wanted to go to the park when I picked them up. Most days they are in school they want to d something after I pick them up. My two love to be on the go. It is me that has difficulty keeping up.

[maddymama]

Haven't read any responses. I think it depends upon the child. DD1 would think that's not enough to do afterschool, and DD2 would freak out that it's too much to do by far.....
~maddymama

[lach]

I'm sorry, I agree with Cycle.

When I was in kindergarten, I went to an after school program while my mother worked. That was 5 days a week. How is this different, except that these are activities that the kids actually want to do and where they'll learn something fun, instead of sitting around coloring worksheets for 3 hours. If kids have specific interests, it's not like those subjects are being covered at school.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

My extroverted, extremely high energy 6yo def needs tons of activity, during and after school, but too much structured energy burning activity just makes him more frustrated/difficult.

We do at least one sport during the week...two if he really shows interest. Otherwise, he burns more energy with unstructured activities like biking, general play, swimming, etc.

I certainly have an opinion on this sort of topic, but what works for one family sure as heck doesn't work for another. All kids need activities...some do better with structure, some do better without.

[lerlerler]

LAst year my 5 yo Kindy DD went to school half day. Generally 3 activities per week - Hebrew school, soccer or ice skating and Spanish. This year she switches to full day (still gets out at 2) and we are cutting back until we see how she does... we try not to schedule things on MOndays - because she gets her homework for the week on Mon and our goal is to get that done as much as possible on Monday - and if that falls behind? we drop an activity (but Hebrew school is non-negotiable)

[quelindo]

Well, maybe it's that *I* can't imagine keeping up with so many activities. I'm kind of glad that my kid doesn't seem to need so much stimulation. My favorite days are when we just putter around the house! Of course, his soon-to-be born little brother may be more energetic...

[One_Girl]

It doesn't seem like very much. Many kids go to daycare after school where they do nothing or lots of activities depending on the quality of the daycare. Some, like my dd also do other activities after daycare like swimming, piano, dance, and story times at the library. Just because your friend wants to enrich her children's lives by giving them different activities to try and opportunities to meet new people doesn't mean that she is doing anything wrong. She knows her kids and what is right for them and her family.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by New Mama

My favorite days are when we just putter around the house!

we do that too. dont worry. just coz kids have activities doesnt mean they dont get down time. the difference is they dont NEED as much downtime as say i would. who could imagine a 2 year old can walk two miles AND play hard in the park for 4 hours. the same child can spend hours in the sand or mud or with just a bucket with sand and water.

we do have our stay in our pjs all day days too.