How would you reply to this?

[Chavelamomela]

I post a lot of pro-breastfeeding things on my facebook page.

Most people who know me know I am passionate about the topic (as well as natural birth, AP, etc). They know I am often posting Lactivism related links and such.

I got a message from a childhood friend, who was bothered by my posts. My most recent post was about an article that links a much higher instance of SIDS to formula-fed babies.

I was curious for advice of how to respond in a respectful manner. I am not interested in making someone feel "guilty" but I find that most people are just oblivious about the difference between choosing to BF and not being able to...

To paraphrase, he wrote something like :

"May I say something to you honestly -
You harp on the breastfeeding topic and you should know that some people are unable to breast feed for assorted reasons (my wife's reason was simply that nothing came out)
So your statements can really put them down and your latest statement implies that since you couldn't breastfeed your kid may die from SIDS."

Now, I clearly never said that if you FF your kid may die of SIDS. I wrote about the link that people don't know about.

What would you suggest as a response? I obviously don't want to cause hurt and pain to my friends, but I am also a strong advocate for BFing, as its something I value and think p/p need to be more educated about.

TIA

[Chavelamomela]

So here's what I responded - what do you think?

"How sad for your wife and baby that she wasn't able to nurse. Maybe it will work out next time. I am sure this was heartbreaking for her that she wasn't able to.

My goal in posting info about breastfeeding is to encourage the vast majority of women who do have a choice to nurse or formula feed and to encourage them to think about their choices.

Educating ourselves with facts and information makes us better parents even if we can't always make the best choice all the time."

[rhiOrion]

I think your response was pretty good.

It's a fact that formula feeding increases the risk of sids. But, even a formula feeding parent needs to know that, so that they can do everything they can to lower the risk in all other areas.

I obviously don't know the tone of "voice" you use when writing these facebook posts, and that plays into things a lot. But in general, I try to just post information that might help someone, but not be judgmental about it. I'm sure you do the same.

This type of thing does rub me the wrong way a bit, though. People never seem to avoid telling moms that sleeping in the bed with their babies is going to make their babies suffocate (and unlike the sids/formula connection it's not even true). But yet, I could say that I don't have any choice but to sleep with my baby on me. She won't sleep any other way!

[Youngfrankenstein]

I think your response was right on. It's sad when some people feel attacked when that wasn't the intention. I think if you are posting, true, fact-based ideas and studies, you can't be blamed if people don't like them.

[VillageMom6]

I'm not a fan of Public Service Announcements on Facebook in the first place. I'm interested in knowing what's going on in my friends' lives... where are they headed for vacation, their child just got a role in the school play, what they harvested from their garden today, etc...

To be honest, if they posted a lot of activism type of posts on any topic... even if I agreed with them... I would probably block them. It's tiresome to be lobbied. I'm their friend, not a potential convert to their pet issue.

Just my opinion, of course.

[rhiOrion]

I learn things sometimes when I post stuff. And I learn stuff about my friends. I learned a couple old friends are big breast feeding supporters, for instance.

But I try to only post informative articles, not judgmental ones.

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

I'm not a fan of Public Service Announcements on Facebook in the first place. I'm interested in knowing what's going on in my friends' lives... where are they headed for vacation, their child just got a role in the school play, what they harvested from their garden today, etc...

To be honest, if they posted a lot of activism type of posts on any topic... even if I agreed with them... I would probably block them. It's tiresome to be lobbied. I'm their friend, not a potential convert to their pet issue.

Just my opinion, of course.

I totally understand where you're coming from. I don't post anything too strong anyway. I am ultra-conservative, a lactivist, a ncb advocate, etc but I don't go there on FB usually.

[Chavelamomela]

Thanks for the feedback.

Its interesting to see how different people use FB differently. I use it to share my thoughts with friends and also share interesting information about topics close to my heart...its all part of who I am.

(Aside about FB etiquette: I find it annoying to read constant updates from the same 4 people who write about what they made for dinner, which errands they ran today, and the fights they got into with their husbands...FB is not the place to give me a boring run-down of your day. If you have something funny or interesting to share, do so. Also, posting about spousal arguments is a big no-no...because you will make up, and forget, but everyone else will remember...)

[annettemarie]

Let's stick to Lactivism topics please. If you all want to start a thread on Facebook etiquette, please do so in TAO.