Breasts & Sex (Post-Weaning)

[not_telling]

I'm not sure if this is the exact right place to post this, but...

DS is 2 and fully-weaned a couple months ago. He just transitioned to sleeping in his own bedroom 4 nights ago. Needless to say, DH and I are pretty excited to have our bedroom to ourselves again. Sexual intimacy has been pretty sporadic for the past 2.75 years (including pregnancy) and we've been missing it.

I'm feeling kinda weird about my boobs, though. They "belonged" to DS for so long, and I've gotten so used to equating any kind of breast/nipple touching to something non-sexual. And, y'know, he still grabs them or puts his little hand down my shirt sometimes. I can't figure out how/when my boobs will feel sexual again. I also discovered last night that I can still express milk...so I feel kinda weird about that...the idea of DH getting squirted or whatever .

Anyone else go through similar feelings? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

[katiesk]

dd is two and a half and still nursing and i sort of feel nauseous when my boobs are handled...like when she constantly wants to be holding onto the boob she is not latched onto, or night time nursing, or with dh...all of it is an uncomfortable sensation right now. not sure why... i think its just too much touching. i dont feel like my boobs are really an erogenous area right now (i used to though until a few months ago) because i think they are just tired of all the stimulation!

[katiedidbug]

I am right there w/ ya!! It took me a while to feel like breasts were sexual. I even had to wear a shirt or tank while dtd for over a year after both of my births. It's gotten better for me, though. I noticed that it got better for me right around the time I got my cycles back.

[cocoanib]

I'm like this and I have my cycle back, so I've been feeling more sexual, but can't imagine DH doing to my breasts what he used to do to them.
It pretty much icks me out right now. Alot of sexual things ick me out right now.
I too wonder if it will ever be the same? I'm fine if it's not, but everything is just different right now.

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by not_telling

I'm feeling kinda weird about my boobs, though. They "belonged" to DS for so long, and I've gotten so used to equating any kind of breast/nipple touching to something non-sexual.

I get this feeling. And I hate it sometimes! We're still nursing in our house, so this could be a lame idea, but what about a "take back the breast" night? It sounds like part of what's going on for you is mental (which I TOTALLY relate to, and I think is normal for a lot of women). If your LO isn't sleeping in your room anymore, maybe designate a night on the calendar when you can present your newly freed breasts to your DH. Buy a sexy new bra, tell DH to take it slow and sensual, and maybe by dressing them up and making a real "date" out of it, so to speak, could help you get over a bit of that mental hump that's happening.

From what I hear, loss of sensation is normal. So I wouldn't necessarily expect it to be "the same," yk? But you're not the same... You're a mama! You're still sexy I'm sure, but we change when we become mothers. And that's okay!! I'd still encourage making a date out of it, and worse comes to worse, you and your DH can just look for new erotic zones if you're not pleased with the initial results

[InMediasRes]

I always felt like there was a lot more grey area for me between mama-boobs and wifey-boobs. I know that idea is not very popular here, but I find them going back and forth a lot during both acts.

My DH is not at all bothered by milk let down, though, so maybe that is part of the hang up for you? I mean, he's not nursing on me or anything, but if it happens, it's not a big deal to him. I think asking him about that particular part of it might help ease your worries a bit about bringing them back into play, so to speak. (That is, assuming he's not totally icked out by it.)

And I also never really felt like my breasts belonged to anyone but me. Maybe try telling yourself that they're yours to share with who you please - might help you "own" them again so that you can be comfortable sharing them with your DH.

Just a thought.

[lookatreestar]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

I always felt like there was a lot more grey area for me between mama-boobs and wifey-boobs. I know that idea is not very popular here, but I find them going back and forth a lot during both acts.

My DH is not at all bothered by milk let down, though, so maybe that is part of the hang up for you? I mean, he's not nursing on me or anything, but if it happens, it's not a big deal to him. I think asking him about that particular part of it might help ease your worries a bit about bringing them back into play, so to speak. (That is, assuming he's not totally icked out by it.)

And I also never really felt like my breasts belonged to anyone but me. Maybe try telling yourself that they're yours to share with who you please - might help you "own" them again so that you can be comfortable sharing them with your DH.

Just a thought.

i like that.

[eclipse]

It took a good 6 months after my youngest weaning before I fel my breast were sexual again. I really had very little sensation in my nipples for all the years I breast fed, such that I thought it would never be the same. But, I'd say at this point, everything is back to pre-kid levels.

[DaughterOfKali]

I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to the way I felt before having a child.

[2goingon2]

I felt that way too after my first. Now, many years later and many years older, I realize they are mine and serve many purposes. My husband is not bothered by any leaking so perhaps that has something to do with my comfort level.

Maybe if you can get in the mind set of your breasts are yours and you can dictate how you feel and when, that will help. They aren't your child's but you are using them to sustain and nourish and that is a beautiful, wonderful, natural thing. The fact that your husband is aroused by them is also a beautiful, wonderful, natural thing.

Hope you can find a happy medium...

[not_telling]

I'm appreciating all the feedback here .

Italiamom, I was sorta already thinking along the lines of your suggestion for "dressing up" the boobies...and I just got back from Victoria's Secret

And, yes, thanks to all who are reminding me that they are MY boobs.
I'm hoping any loss of sensation is not permanent.

[Quinalla]

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

I always felt like there was a lot more grey area for me between mama-boobs and wifey-boobs. I know that idea is not very popular here, but I find them going back and forth a lot during both acts.

My DH is not at all bothered by milk let down, though, so maybe that is part of the hang up for you? I mean, he's not nursing on me or anything, but if it happens, it's not a big deal to him. I think asking him about that particular part of it might help ease your worries a bit about bringing them back into play, so to speak. (That is, assuming he's not totally icked out by it.)

And I also never really felt like my breasts belonged to anyone but me. Maybe try telling yourself that they're yours to share with who you please - might help you "own" them again so that you can be comfortable sharing them with your DH.

Just a thought.

This has been my experience as well and yes, they are my breasts for sure to share with whoever I want, I think that attitude has been most helpful for me. Though I will say I never leak unless engorged and even then it isn't much, but my attitude is if DH doesn't like the leaks, then he can stay away from my breasts. Totally in his court and not something I worry about in the slightest