Early Puberty- DD is 8 - Page 2
Oh, and I was the girl in 5th grade with her breasts on the desk so the boys would notice- not because I wanted them to, but because they were SOO there. Unfortunately, my mom- a lifetime a-cup bra-avoidant woman didn't see the need to help me find one of those. That was a far greater struggle for me than the period. No c-cup should go unsecured in grade school P.E.
I am not usually one to leave comments or feedback on any sites, but reading your post really hit home... My eldest daughter is 8, and she too has already started to develop breast buds, underarm/pubic hair, and I just recently noticed a bit of b.o. I am afraid that her period may not be far behind . I understand that these changes are normal, but I was not expecting them to come at such an early age. I started menstruating at 12. To me, she's still my "baby". I am totally unprepared to have the period talk with her. I don't want to overwhelm her with information she may not be ready to completely understand. She is still so innocent and loves to play with Barbies and with her younger siblings. I'm afraid that her body is developing faster than her psyche.
I would love to hear how this all turned out for you!!
If the development is happening rapidly, especially if it is very rapid in both girls then your dds' pediatrician may recommend doing some additional testing with an endocrinologist. If she has slow growth over time then it is very likely that they won't look for other causes. I think you should start reading the books about development to both of your girls so they know what is going on and I suggest preparing them for the possibility of being short. Girls who go through puberty early tend to do all of their growing quickly then they stop and they are typically not tall. That may be easy or hard for them depending on how many people have told them how tall they will be and how hard they take it when they are not tall.
I agree that 8 might be within the normal range for both the beginnings of puberty and the first period.
It doesn't sound to me like your daughter started her period. Although my first period was brown, it was obviously coming from my vagina- the position of the spots on my underpants and also the evidence when I wiped after toileting made it obvious it was no "shart". I was actually 13 when I started my period but started getting acne, breast buds, body hair, and BO when I was about 9.
Books are great but you are really the best source of information for your child. I think every 8 yr old girl should understand some basics: that a "period' is when blood comes from your vagina, it comes about once a month, most of us use pads and/or tampons, it doesn't hurt like when you cut yourself but sometimes like a tummy ache, and that menstruation is about fertility and related to having babies, etc. Also I think even very young kids should know the words for vulva, vagina, clitoris, etc.
I know it must be sorta weird to see your daughters growing up- maybe even alarming- but also there is a lot of potential for bonding there. Once my mom stuffed her bra with always maxi pads and strutted around the room while I cracked up laughing...those kids of moments are precious too. Making sure she knows that you "like" her body and the things it does, is a cool way to love your daughter. Maybe some day (OK in 20-40 yrs) your daughter will invite you to the birth of your grandchild!
I understand your panic, but you (and your daughter) are not alone at all. I got my period at age 10 in 1986. My best friends were age 11, 12 and 14. My little sister was age 13. I was not chubby, and my mother got her period at age 14 so who knows why I began earlier. I am 5-4, and have always been an average height.
Precocious puberty is defined generally as onset before age 7 or 8 in girls. It doesn't seen abnormal for your daughter to be starting her period now. I do read that it's increasingly common for girls to start at her age, for unknown reasons.
I was less obviously ashamed (and less shocked) by the onset of menstruation at 10 than I was when I first noticed breast buds at age 9. When I went to my parents with concerns about my lumpy chest my father reacted with quiet (a sort of common discomfort, but he was never unkind) and my mother was nervous, but seemed confused about my extreme upset. I actually refused to let my mother take me bra shopping and secretly made my own sports bra (my poor mother). I simply did not want this to be a big deal.
So I had shame about developing early, and I worry about how I will deal with my daughters first signs of puberty (although she only just turned 3!). Like you, I want her to be healthy as possible and to preserve her natural childhood, so I try to avoid pesticides, plastics and soy. I'm accused of being obsessive, yet I do give her non-organic food at times, and the rest of my family is not at all careful about these issues when with her.
I also understand that most water supplies have a lot of estogenic compounds in them from run-off, not to mention fluoridated water possibly disrupting the thyroid, and so... what do you do? It's just not easy to avoid it all. You're not to blame.
I agree with the advice to get the books, initiate a conversation, and to keep the dialog open and easy with your daughter.
I do believe that trying to be comfortable and even humorously celebratory about the onset of puberty is a good thing. Crack some jokes. Make fun of the cliches. I remember a sort of vague feeling of taboo around the whole subject when I was there. "Womanhood" seemed like such a heavy deal (in sex-ed class, with my friends, with the boob-obsessed boys in school) and that scared me more than the details of blood and bras. I was still a kid, you know? And I didn't want my parents to be worried.
I have not read all the replys so maybe this has been said a lot but, from reading your post I am not sure your dd has started her period. Is it possible to ask her about it? Have you guys talked about puberty and menstral cycle. My dd is 8 and know that she will begin to develop breasts soon and can start her cycle in the next few years. I told her when I started mine (12 yrs) but, also told her that some girls start sooner and some start later and that is normal. I talked to her about this becaues I didn't want her to freak out when it happens (like I did) .If she started her period I think she would have noticed blood on tissue when she went to the restroom, so I would ask her. Good Luck and Big Hugs!!