Paci or fingers?

[Kuba'sMama]

I'm hoping for some input. This is my third baby, but my first "self soother" (for the most part anyway). I guess I didn't know it was possible and wasn't prepared, lol!

I have never really used a paci with my other two (my son hated it when we tried, and we never tried with my dd). It was breast for all soothing needs! Well, this one is different. She is sooo mellow, she just rolls over wherever she is and goes to sleep! Stroller, floor, carseat, whatever. Takes her all of 5 minutes usually. But to do so, she puts her index and middle fingers in her mouth and sucks herself to sleep. Her poor fingers are starting to look raw! She fights me when I try to take them out.

So this has led me to thinking maybe a pacifier would be better. I bought one and she didn't seem opposed like my son, but she just didn't get it! She was smiling with it, drooling all over, sucking it while i held it, but when I let go, she just let it drop from her mouth. Is pacifier sucking a learned skill? And if it is, how do i teach her to use it? OR did i miss the "paci window" (she's almost 3 months)?
Final question; Should i bother trying to teach her to take it, or just leave the fingers be, seeing as she has soothing with fingers down pat? I guess I'm a bit worried about cold chapped fingers in winter, and potential weaning problems down the line (can't just take fingers away, lol).

Sorry about the long post, but i am very lost in this department.
TIA

[ErinYay]

For me, I'd LOVE it if V would forgo a paci for her fingers/thumb. She has all the elements of a thumb sucker (hand positioning, wiggling that one finger under her nose) but can't seem to get it together when she needs to suck.

Fingers/thumbs never fall under the couch and get lost forever, the dogs (usually) won't eat them, they don't cost $6 for a pair, they're easy to find in the middle of the night, and (imo) they give the baby some autonomy over self-soothing.

Also I'd FAR rather see a 3-5 year old suck a thumb or fingers when tuckered out than wander around with a paci.

[treeoflife3]

as a long time thumb sucker (til I was 9 and still get the urge once in awhile when I'm tired or stressed) I vote you just let her use her fingers. They are always there and an easy comfort tool no matter when she might need it or why.

I know some people who's kids sucked on those exact fingers... they got a bit raw but never got BAD, even through the winter. Just keep them clean and dry as best as you can and maybe moisturize with something if there is anything you feel comfortable with her consuming a tiny amount of (maybe coconut or olive oil?) during times where she isn't going to need them for a bit to make sure it soaks in.

[simplified]

I had three on the paci, two thumb suckers and the last two take nothing but breast. Out of all of those, I like the breast best because I don't have to look for it or pay for it (as previously mentioned) and it will be weaned away at some point. I know finger/thumb sucking isn't terrible, but my 3 year olds are still sucking their thumbs and I ever so slightly worry about their teeth/mouths.

[Adaline'sMama]

We decided to give DD a paci when she started sucking on her fingers. You can take a paci away and its a few really bad days, but my mother fought my little brother to keep his thumb out of his mouth until he was 10 years old.

We went with a paci when she was about 3 months old. We tried a couple of different kinds, but the Nuk Genius is the one she eventually took. I would put a little breastmilk on it to get her to take it.

We still had to take her hand out of her mouth and replace it with the paci until she was about 4 months old. Its super useful in the car, where I cant nurse her.

[akind1]

DS was a paci baby; he got one in the hospital (this was encouraged, but not forced, by the nursing staff) and used it until around 4 months old when he switched over to thumb. I really don't mind (although DH's grandparents snatch it out of his mouth, which we have discussed with them that it really is ok that he have his thumb, but that is another story)

He can self soothe with it, and it helps him go to sleep. FWIW, he only does so when tired, it isn't like it is his mouth all day. I don't mind kids using paci's at a later age for bedtime/naptime -

I would consider it a blessing! it is free and always there. only downside, is when a paci baby is upset you can kind of encourage them to use the paci, not so with a thumb or finger sucking baby.

[SubliminalDarkness]

If she's going to be using one or the other, I'd go for pacifier. You can take a pacifier away if necessary, but not fingers.

[Tway]

Although I fought it tooth and nail at first, I finally decided to give DD a paci. She uses it almost exclusively for sleep, or if she's upset in a setting where we need to be quiet (like mass).

Both my mom and my aunt were almost in their teens when they finally stopped sucking their thumbs, and my DH knew a girl in university who STILL sucked her thumb--and had horrible teeth. I figure DD won't need the paci at some point, and we'll jut chuck it and deal with what comes.

On a side note, we're still using a newborn-to-7-month paci, even though DD is 10 months. She doesn't like the bigger size! Ack!

[Earthy Mama]

My 7 yo is still a thumb sucker. Though, only when she's tired. She's trying real hard to quit, but it just pops in her mouth when she starts to drift off.
Her front teeth are all grown in and they are fine.
She would be horrified if her friends knew that she still does it, so I think once sleep overs come in to play, she will stop.

[Katie T]

I say keep letting her use her fingers and don't bother with the paci. I think they are such a pain, they get lost and broken and they are expensive IMO. I had 2 paci babies and my last was a thumb sucker and at times her thumb looked sore but she didn't seem to mind. I was always worried about all the germs she would pick up and things like that but she has been my healthiest kid.

I love self soothers!

[simplified]

Though you can take a paci away at some point, my oldest two started biting their nails after we took their paci away. That's why I decided to stick with the breast for all their sucking needs.

[Earthy Mama]

Originally Posted by Katie T

I love self soothers!

Me too! She was so good about getting herself back to sleep.

[Sorin]

I prefer that DD use a pacifier instead of her fingers, so everytime she goes for the fingers, I take them out of her mouth and give her the paci (she's four months). DH sucked his thumb for a loooong time, and my MIL regrets that she didn't give him a paci instead. He said it was such a hard habit to break, and he was probably about 8 or 10 when he finally forced himself to stop sucking his thumb.

While it is true that a paci can fall on the floor and get dirty, broken, etc., fingers touch *everything*--playground equipment, elevator buttons, door knobs--and then go directly into the mouth. DH had all kinds of crazy illnesses as a kid, which he attributes to his sucking on a dirty thumb. Plus, with a pacifier, I can restrict its use to the crib or the car seat; kinda hard to do that with a thumb.

[Kuba'sMama]

thanks for the replies everyone!

Maybe I wasn't very clear, but part of my paci question was; how do I get her to take it? Do some kids just naturally know how to use it and some don't? Like I said, she doesn't seem opposed to it but she cant keep it in her mouth!
For those with paci babies, how long did it take them to "get it" (if at all)?

Thanks again!

[Knitting Mama]

Cecilia is for sure one of those who never would take one. I tried 5-6 brands, too. I don't really mind overall, to be honest. She just sucks on her hand or toys when she wants something.

[Parker'smommy]

To get her take the pacifier---put some breastmilk on it to get it in her mouth. Then hold onto it and gently tug on it. Her then natural reflex should to try and keep it in her mouth by sucking harder. Does that make sense? Keep tugging on it and having her try and keep it in her mouth. This is teaching her how to keep it in her mouth. She has to train herself to do this. I learned this in the book, " The Happiest Baby on the Block" and it worked with my dd. She wanted the pacifier but couldn't figure out how to KEEP it in her mouth. I did the tugging gently thing for a few days and she figured it out

[Kuba'sMama]

Thank you Parker's Mama! You were the only one to address that part of my question (the most important part, lol). i would have never thought to try that!

[Knitting Mama]

Be forewarned, it doesn't always work. I read that too, and tried it, and Cecilia still wouldn't take one. Sorry to be the bearer of unfortunate news!

[Megan73]

I waited until BF was going well - two months - but by then my son wouldn't ever take a soother. If your little girl won't either, you could try putting some Lansinoh on her fingers.