Not exactly a HB, but need help

[shellnurse]

I'm not ready for HB for many reasons, but mostly because if I switch to a HB midwife my backup hospital is where I suffered a terribly traumatic birth. I know the chances of having to transfer are low, but I just can't relax if I know that's where I'll go even for a non-emergent transfer. (First baby was big, posterior and took 4 days to birth...exhaustion, dehydration. yuck!)

We had talked about paying out of pocket and somehow magically finding the $4000 to pay a HB midwife while keeping my very crunchy OB/MW team who work at the local Birth Center and birthing at home and then having a planned transfer to the birth center near the end of labor. (I'm a NICU nurse and just too scared of the what ifs to stay at home.) I wanted an expert to be there with me and monitor baby and me and then be able to tell me when it's time to go to the hospital. (With DD I was ready to push after 3 days of labor and contracting every 1-5 minutes with excruciating contractions only to find out I was at 3cm and she wasn't born for another 20 hours.)

Now DH has to get major dental surgery costing $10,000 which needs to be dealt with ASAP. So my plan is pretty much dissolved. I might be able to get a small family loan and hire a doula, but I just really want to stay home as long as possible and don't feel safe without monitoring and having someone be able to tell that it's too early to go to the birth center.

Mostly just venting, but curious if anyone has any grand ideas that might help.

[Chavelamomela]

It seems like hiring a doula who can use a hand-held dopplar would be helpful to reassure you everything is fine and to ensure you stay home long enough not to get to the birthing center too soon.

Also, you have to remember that a lot of your problems of your previous labor stem from the posterior presentation of your baby. You can do things to prevent this. Posture is extremely important and can encourage your baby to be in the best position for birth. So sit upright all the time with pillows behind your back. As you approach your edd,a few minutes (10-20 minutes) a day, sit on your knees in a chair and lean over onto the floor (place a cushion there for comfort for hands & head). Stay like that. This position is good, and also good to do during early labor - hang out like that for 30 minutes when your labor starts.

Think positive! Remember that every baby is different and you will have a very different experience this time!

[Defenestrator]

My top fee is $3200, though many women pay less because of income or insurance. When I do this kind of monatrice work, though, my fee is closer to $800-$900. I don't have to pay an assistant, I don't do 10 prenatal visits, I don't do 5 or so postnatal visits, and I don't have to pay for labwork. All of these things make the fee lower. You might find that the services you want are not $4k, but you'll never know until you ask some of the midwives in your area.

[shellnurse]

Defenestrator-can you describe what a monatrice does exactly? I think I remember reading she is a tiny bit more medical than a doula. Where can I find one if it seems like a good fit? Thanks!