Is there an acceptable way to ask strangers not to smoke around your child?

[crunchy_mommy]

We actually left the playground today because parents were smoking ON the playground equipment. Not near it, not sitting on the benches nearby (which also drives me nuts, they leave their butts everywhere) but ON the equipment. Seriously, if your kid needs help on the playground, can't you put out your cigarette first??? (Sorry, this just REALLY gets to me).

Anyway so I wanted to say something... like, "Oh my son is allergic to smoke, could you smoke over there?" ('Cause well, isn't everyone technically *allergic* to smoke??) But I don't feel right saying that. And I can't think of any other way to ask. I think partly I'm intimidated by smokers. I have this stereotype that they are all tough don't-mess-with-me types (though I know that's not always true & have met many approachable smokers!)

But I don't want DS playing in smoke!! Gross!!!!

WWYD?

[Ruthla]

"Excuse me, could you please not smoke so close to my child?"

[angelcollector1]

Some cities, towns and states do not allow smoking in playgrounds, sports fields for school age kids, etc.. maybe you should check your city's rules to see what they say... but I wouldn't hesitate to say- "Excuse me, I or DC are severe asthmatics, could I ask you to please not smoke for the short time we're here because it could cause me to need immediate medical attention."

[Drummer's Wife]

I'd probably just frequent other playgrounds. But then, I hate confrontation.

[meemee]

you cant predict how people will react. for some its something they have never even thought about so they are grateful you pointed it out. for some depending on where they are in life, might give you a dirty look or a finger or some choice words.

i'd still say something politely. i hate going behind their back and complaining. something like Ruthla wrote.

[kittynurse]

My way probably isn't an acceptable way but I give them serious stinkeye and then whisper loudly to other parents that I'm with about how rude and ignorant it is. I know, I'm soooooo mature!

[sapphire_chan]

Go with asking directly like Ruthla said and hope to goodness they'd just forgot it was in their hand.

[CherryBomb]

I tend to act really disgusted and wave the smoke away, they usually get the point.

[peainthepod]

I'm an ex-smoker and would have no problem asking them politely not to smoke on the playground equipment. Smoking is an adult activity and there's no reason they need to do it in a children's area. I think if you're polite but firm about it there's no reason to assume they'll react badly.

It's not like you're planning to shriek something like, "Hey, Black Lung! Get your stinking coffin nails away from the playground!"

(Right?)

[earthmama369]

I approach with a smile and ask them to please not smoke near my son. He IS allergic to tobacco (it's a nightshade, along with tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, and peppers). Sometimes they comply, sometimes not. But if don't ask, they definitely won't stop.

[grumpybear]

Yes on what Ruthla wrote and then I'd write to parks and rec or whoever was maintaining the playground to please put up No Smoking signs.

[phathui5]

Just ask nicely.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Unless the place prohibits smoking, the smoking person has as much right to stand there smoking as you do to stand there not smoking. Unless the area restricts it, your child has no "right" not to be smoked around.

So, if it was me, I wouldn't say anything.

[kindchen]

Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness

Unless the place prohibits smoking, the smoking person has as much right to stand there smoking as you do to stand there not smoking. Unless the area restricts it, your child has no "right" not to be smoked around.

So, if it was me, I wouldn't say anything.

Just because you don't have a legal right to something doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't ask for it. Smoke is unhealthy for people to breathe. Politely asking someone to stop doing something that is unhealthy for your child isn't rude or unacceptable. In fact, I think it is totally socially unacceptable to smoke on playgrounds. Something doesn't have to be illegal in order to not be okay.

[StoriesInTheSoil]

Originally Posted by kindchen

Just because you don't have a legal right to something doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't ask for it. Smoke is unhealthy for people to breathe. Politely asking someone to stop doing something that is unhealthy for your child isn't rude or unacceptable. In fact, I think it is totally socially unacceptable to smoke on playgrounds. Something doesn't have to be illegal in order to not be okay.

I agree with this. Especially as the parent of a child who, while not diagnosed as asthmatic, does tend to wheeze when exposed to various allergens. It's not that his right to be there outweighs their right to smoke, it's that them smoking could possibly cause him to have a a life-threatening response and their NOT smoking will not cause them to have a life-threatening response, KWIM?

If someone is smoking near us in public, we typically just move as fast as possible because I'm afraid of confrontation and we really can not be around it at all.

[crunchy_mommy]

I think I'm just afraid of confrontation too I really wanted to say something but I knew we needed to be leaving soon anyway so I just left. I had asked the Parks & Rec dept. about no smoking signs a few weeks ago but they said I had to call the Garage & I couldn't find their number. I love that playground because it has shade & DS enjoys their unique equipment & it's really close by -- but maybe we should just go to other playgrounds.

I know they have a 'right' to be there but I still find it shocking that they'd actually smoke ON the equipment. But smoking in general drives me nuts, I honestly wish they'd ban it in public places (including outdoors) because I feel like I can't walk 20 feet from home without walking through a cloud of smoke.

[Tway]

I've been wondering the same thing, since so many people smoke in the big park near home. Worse, so many are smoking weed--which I assume can't be good for DD (although maybe it would make her sleep better... hmmm.....LOL).

I get all hot and bothered by it, but chicken out before saying anything. I always assume people who smoke these days will try to do it away from groups of people--especially kids! Smoking is illegal in restaurants and bars here, so it surprises me that people still light up in public places when others are around.

[cycle]

I just ask them to stop smoking or move somewhere else. I abhor smoking and I find that most smokers are inconsiderate, in my experience, so I will try to be polite but if the smoker is inconsiderate I will escalate it to get them to move or stop smoking. I live in a state that has very good anti-smoking laws so if we are somewhere and people are smoking, most likely they are not legally supposed to be smoking there.

[Latte Mama]

I will never understand why some think they have the "right" to infringe their unhealthy habit upon others. That is no right. One can do what they want to their OWN body but NOT in the safe haven in a playground for kids! Come on!

I will and have said something when I see someone smoking at the playground. That is one huge peeve of mine. Don't bring your nasty smoky cigs to a place specifically for kids. If someone were to get nasty they would get an earful from me. And I am an ex smoker, but one who was courteous when I did it. I hate the things now.

[kcstar]

I guess for me it depends on the setup of the playground. If that's the only equipment around, I would say something. "Excuse me, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, and we would like to enjoy this public park." If they're on a piece of equipment, but there's other equipment uprange / out of the way, I'd just avoid the area where the smokers are.