I completely betrayed my friend.
I've been friends with her for almost 4 years. I'm also friends with her husband because of her. My friend and her husband have had some marriage issues over the past few years. They have major ideological differences that crop up from time to time. I started talking to him a lot because he would "confide" in me. When he broke away from their religion he sent me he story of deconversion before he spoke to her and her family (they are all very religious). After that we chatted regularly. He has always been very flirty and I flirted right back, but in a joking manner. I was never attracted to him. He started sending me pics of his abs because he started working out. I sent him a picture of my abs as a joke. After that he started asking me for pictures of more than my abs. He wanted to see my boobs. I knew he had already seen naked pics of me because he fixed my computer when it had a virus and those pics (arty, tasteful, but still nude) are there. But, I sent him other pictures I had of my nude torso (boobs, belly and undies). I didn't take pics FOR him, but I sent ones that already existed. Not that it matters. I know I did it because I wasn't feeling good about myself. I struggle with my image constantly. I've been made fun of all of my life because of the way I look and it's rare that someone ever makes me feel attractive. I am married. But I went through a period I didn't feel like my husband was attracted to me. He never did or said things to make me feel pretty, desirable or feminine. We have since worked that issue out. But, at the time, my friend's dh was telling me how hot I am and how great my body is. I knew it was hurtful towards my friend, but I was selfish and enjoyed hearing some guy tell me how hot I was. I didn't do it to entice him. I didn't do it because I wanted him. I did it for my own selfish and screwed up reasons. I immediately felt guilty. He asked for more pics and I said no. I told my husband what I did and he was ticked, but not furious. I then grappled with telling my friend. I was way too scared to tell her because I knew it would probably end our friendship. I stopped the flirty talk with her husband and didn't send anymore pictures and did not allow him to send anymore ab pics. We went back to talking about regular things like politics and gardening. I always wanted to tell my friend about the pictures and my husband encouraged me to do so. I never did because I was too scared. Then I went through a miscarriage and I originally had thoughts of "God is punishing me for sending those pics," but then the whole picture thing went out of my mind as I dealt with depression over the loss of my baby.
Last week, she called me saying she was snooping through his email and found something suspicious. It was something that made her think he was doing things behind her back online. Now, I mentioned they had ideological differences. He used to post very inflammatory political and religious things on his facebook. She forbade him from doing so and he stopped this year. When she mentioned that she thought he was doing something online, I said - and I believed - he was probably surfing political and religious websites and causing trouble. I figured he needed an outlet for that type of stuff and would do it behind her back. She mentioned that she thought he was cheating and I didn't believe it. Yes, he asked for those pics, but I really did believe he stopped at that (I know, that was stupid). In the end, she was right. She confronted him yesterday and he admitted to cheating on her. He had sex with an old girlfriend 6 years ago when my friend was pregnant with their first child. He then admitted that he made out with a couple of women over the years. He set up profiles on online dating sites in the last few months. He travels for business and had a plan to meet up with someone from the dating site "just to make out, not have sex" last week, but it fell through. He also posted pictures of my friend's very attractive 19 year old cousin to some website he shared with friends. He posted those pics and made comments like, "I know she's family, but we're not blood so I would do her." And then he told the truth about the photos I took.
I called her yesterday just to check up on her because, on top of everything else, their house was broken into, their van was broken into and her wedding rings were stolen over the weekend. I was checking on that situation when she told me about his confessions. Obviously, she is disappointed in me. I have betrayed everything in our friendship. Not only did I send those pictures, but when she asked me last week if I ever thought he would cheat on her I said no (because I never believed he would have an physical contact with another woman).
I feel like the biggest piece of sh*t on the planet. There is no excuse for what I've done. I can explain certain things, but it doesn't make anything wrong. I'm so furious with myself for doing this to her and for ruining our friendship. I did express my remorse to her. She said she doesn't know what she is going to do to me, yet, but she may need a hiatus from me. I told her I obviously understand if she hates me and could never be friends with me again. I broke a ton of trust.
I don't know what to do. I feel like there is nothing that I can do. I'm so mad at myself because I should be there for my friend right now. I want to be there for her and help her through this, but I can't because I betrayed her. And I'm furious at him. You might think I don't have a right to be so mad at him, but I am. Part of me wants to email her, to explain why I sent the picture and to tell her that I never once had any intention to have any physical contact with her husband. I don't even find the man attractive at all. I'm afraid to email her, though. As of this morning she still has me on her facebook. I don't know if I should wait to email her or not. I hate myself so much right now.
I've been friends with her for almost 4 years. I'm also friends with her husband because of her. My friend and her husband have had some marriage issues over the past few years. They have major ideological differences that crop up from time to time. I started talking to him a lot because he would "confide" in me. When he broke away from their religion he sent me he story of deconversion before he spoke to her and her family (they are all very religious). After that we chatted regularly. He has always been very flirty and I flirted right back, but in a joking manner. I was never attracted to him. He started sending me pics of his abs because he started working out. I sent him a picture of my abs as a joke. After that he started asking me for pictures of more than my abs. He wanted to see my boobs. I knew he had already seen naked pics of me because he fixed my computer when it had a virus and those pics (arty, tasteful, but still nude) are there. But, I sent him other pictures I had of my nude torso (boobs, belly and undies). I didn't take pics FOR him, but I sent ones that already existed. Not that it matters. I know I did it because I wasn't feeling good about myself. I struggle with my image constantly. I've been made fun of all of my life because of the way I look and it's rare that someone ever makes me feel attractive. I am married. But I went through a period I didn't feel like my husband was attracted to me. He never did or said things to make me feel pretty, desirable or feminine. We have since worked that issue out. But, at the time, my friend's dh was telling me how hot I am and how great my body is. I knew it was hurtful towards my friend, but I was selfish and enjoyed hearing some guy tell me how hot I was. I didn't do it to entice him. I didn't do it because I wanted him. I did it for my own selfish and screwed up reasons. I immediately felt guilty. He asked for more pics and I said no. I told my husband what I did and he was ticked, but not furious. I then grappled with telling my friend. I was way too scared to tell her because I knew it would probably end our friendship. I stopped the flirty talk with her husband and didn't send anymore pictures and did not allow him to send anymore ab pics. We went back to talking about regular things like politics and gardening. I always wanted to tell my friend about the pictures and my husband encouraged me to do so. I never did because I was too scared. Then I went through a miscarriage and I originally had thoughts of "God is punishing me for sending those pics," but then the whole picture thing went out of my mind as I dealt with depression over the loss of my baby.
Last week, she called me saying she was snooping through his email and found something suspicious. It was something that made her think he was doing things behind her back online. Now, I mentioned they had ideological differences. He used to post very inflammatory political and religious things on his facebook. She forbade him from doing so and he stopped this year. When she mentioned that she thought he was doing something online, I said - and I believed - he was probably surfing political and religious websites and causing trouble. I figured he needed an outlet for that type of stuff and would do it behind her back. She mentioned that she thought he was cheating and I didn't believe it. Yes, he asked for those pics, but I really did believe he stopped at that (I know, that was stupid). In the end, she was right. She confronted him yesterday and he admitted to cheating on her. He had sex with an old girlfriend 6 years ago when my friend was pregnant with their first child. He then admitted that he made out with a couple of women over the years. He set up profiles on online dating sites in the last few months. He travels for business and had a plan to meet up with someone from the dating site "just to make out, not have sex" last week, but it fell through. He also posted pictures of my friend's very attractive 19 year old cousin to some website he shared with friends. He posted those pics and made comments like, "I know she's family, but we're not blood so I would do her." And then he told the truth about the photos I took.
I called her yesterday just to check up on her because, on top of everything else, their house was broken into, their van was broken into and her wedding rings were stolen over the weekend. I was checking on that situation when she told me about his confessions. Obviously, she is disappointed in me. I have betrayed everything in our friendship. Not only did I send those pictures, but when she asked me last week if I ever thought he would cheat on her I said no (because I never believed he would have an physical contact with another woman).
I feel like the biggest piece of sh*t on the planet. There is no excuse for what I've done. I can explain certain things, but it doesn't make anything wrong. I'm so furious with myself for doing this to her and for ruining our friendship. I did express my remorse to her. She said she doesn't know what she is going to do to me, yet, but she may need a hiatus from me. I told her I obviously understand if she hates me and could never be friends with me again. I broke a ton of trust.
I don't know what to do. I feel like there is nothing that I can do. I'm so mad at myself because I should be there for my friend right now. I want to be there for her and help her through this, but I can't because I betrayed her. And I'm furious at him. You might think I don't have a right to be so mad at him, but I am. Part of me wants to email her, to explain why I sent the picture and to tell her that I never once had any intention to have any physical contact with her husband. I don't even find the man attractive at all. I'm afraid to email her, though. As of this morning she still has me on her facebook. I don't know if I should wait to email her or not. I hate myself so much right now.
We all make mistakes.
OP. I wouldn't have emailed him back b/c I have trust issues like that, but I'm glad you're so forgiving. Work on forgiving yourself, now! 
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