Swearing off the pill- any tips on NFP?

[Shall1105]

A little history- last week I had my first miscarriage. I have a one year old, and have been on the pill (combo pill) since she was born. This is now the third time I have conceived on the pill. With my oldest child I had been on the pill for 2 years, and my OB said that the St Johns Wort I was taking may have made my pills ineffective.

The second time I got pregnant I had been on the pill for 2 years again...and I have no explanation as to why my BC failed. I had no idea why it failed with this miscarriage last week either. I set an alarm on my phone and take the pills at the same time every single night. The pill has never really regulated my period. Even after years of taking it I still spot a lot and most of the time I will start my period during the last week of active pills.

I have been to two different OB/GYNs and none of them can explain why this is happening, nor do they seem very interested in helping me find out unfortunately. The GYN I saw after this miscarriage told me "sometimes the pill just doesnt work for some women" but didnt offer me any reasons as to why.

So, I have decided Im done with hormonal BC pills. And right now is the perfect time for me to start learning the ins and outs of NFP, b/c my husband is deployed for 7 more months and so I dont have to worry about having any actual birth control right now.

Does anyone have any tips for newbies? Any websites that have good info? Anyone have similar experiences with hormonal BC? Will 6 months be long enough for me to track my cycle before using NFP to avoid pregnancy?

[JMJ]

The pill does not always suppress ovulation, and from what I understand, certain women's bodies are more likely to get pregnant than others. It sounds like you are one of those people who is healthy and fertile, and a birth control pill would have a harder time shutting down your fertility.

There are many options when it comes to NFP.
-Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a book teaches the sympto-thermal method from a secular perspective.
-The Couple to Couple League teaches the sympto-thermal method from a Catholic perspective with their book, The Art of Natural Family (Most recent edition: Student Guide). Even if you are not Catholic, you're more likely to find a class offered by the Couple to Couple League than a secular class, but you do have to understand that the Catholic Church is very anti-contraception and abortion, and this is very evident in these classes.
-The Creighton method uses mucus only and is closely associated with the medical field, including diagnosing and treating women's health problems based on charting. There's also a reasonable probability that you would be able to find a teacher nearby to meet with for private consultation. This method was developed with a Catholic sense of morality in mind, but the classes do not include Catholic theology (unless it is an introductory class designed for Catholic marriage preparation, in which case, someone other than the NFP teacher speaks on theology).
-The Billings Ovulation Method is also mucus only. It is very similar to Creighton, and I'm not exactly sure the differences, but there are some BOM teachers out there, so if you're looking for face-to-face instruction, check to see if they're in your area.
-Marquette University uses fertility monitors. I don't know enough else about them, if they use other charting as well or not.
-NFP international teaches the Sympto-thermal method from a very conservative Catholic perspective. They teach some classes around the globe and also have their NFP book available for free download (though they appreciate donations). They also give more rules that you can use to designate the beginning and end of the fertility window. This makes it slightly more complicated, but it may reduce the number of days that you would need to be abstinent.

http://onemoresoul.com/nfp-providers has a list of NFP teachers for some methods, but I wouldn't count on it to be complete for all methods. You'd probably have better luck searching the website for the method you want. I know the Couple to Couple league (and I think NFP international) have distance learning courses if there are no teachers in your area.

6 months should be plenty of time to learn a method. Creighton requires 1 full cycle of abstinence. The Sympto-thermal method recommends pre-ovulation abstinence for at least one cycle, and some of the options for determining the beginning of the fertile window are not recommended until you have 6 cycles of experience, so 6 months is about the perfect amount of time to learn a new method. HTH!

[HulaJenn]

JMJ gave you lots of great resources there. I was on BCP when DH and I first got married and got pg while on them- mind you, it was the low dose mini-pill which can be less effective. I think NFP is great and eveng greater that you have some time to figure out your cycles etc. before putting it really to the test.
I like using www.fertilityfriend.com to chart temperatures - they also give a tutorial on basic charting etc.
And I have heard great things about reading "Taking Charge of your Fertility" .
Good luck!

[physics girl]

I'm seconding the recommendation of Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It's a simple (but not simplistic) and very readable guide to the symptothermal method. It was detailed enough to make this biology-geek former anatomy and physiology teacher happy, and had some especially helpful touches like photographs of actual cervical fluid from different phases of the cycle. My public library has it so perhaps yours does too, and it is available online for around $17. I'm not using it for family planning yet, but charting has put me in much better touch with what's happening with my body.

I looked into classes through the Couple to Couple League and discovered that they also offer a home study course where you can send your charts in for review by an instructor if you want the extra guidance and are comfortable with the added cost ($159) and Catholic perspective.

[iluv2bamom]

I'm also learning about NFP....due to the fact that I've had 3 kids in 3 years and I think a little break is necessary. I've heard of another book that my midwife suggested to me to read. It's called "Garden of Fertility". I haven't personally read it due to the fact I can't find it anywhere, and if I did it's out of my budget. Amazon.com is a good place to look for books. If anyone happens to live in the Louisville Ky area and knows of a good NFP class to go to PLEASE let me know! Thanks!!!
iluv2bamom

[lyterae]

Everyone has had some great recommendations. in addition if you are strictly wanting to avoid and do not want a surprise I would say to only dtd without protection AFTER confirmed O and thermal shift (3 high temps).

[Shall1105]

Thanks for the advice ladies!

Ive been reading the lessons on Fertility Friend although I know that site is intended for people who are TTC not TTA.

Ive also been looking into the copper IUD (paraguard) but I had one in after my son and it had to be removed less than 6 months after it was placed b/c I was bleeding and cramping so badly. So, Im worried that the same thing would happen again and it would be a waste of time.

Im going to look and see if there are any Catholic Churches in the area that offer Family Planning Classes. I live in a fairly large city Im sure there has to be something.

Im still pretty nervous about using it and having an oops. We want more children but not until we get a house. Plus my husband is getting out of the army next Spring and our future is a little uncertain right now. Im sure we will be fine but Id like to be a bit more stable first! We might be using condoms for awhile and DH will just have to deal.

Has anyone here successfully used NFP to avoid pregnancy for long periods of time?

[lyterae]

I would recomend checking out the "Charting to Avoid" thread, there are ladies there who have avoided for long spans of time. The longest we have avoided is 6 consecutive months, both pregnancies were entirely our fault and certainly not a method failure but a calculated risk.. We were both well aware that dtd could result in pregnancy and sure enough it has both times.

[AnnieA]

Sarah, my DH and I successfully avoided pregnancy for 33 cycles. That's almost 3 years. The only reason why we got pregnant when we did during my 34th cycle was because we didn't follow the rules. We DTD after 2 "high" temps and it turned out that those temps were flukes. I O'd the day after we DTD and I got pregnant. We need to avoid for the next three cycles because I just had a D&E because our baby died so we will be very strict with the rules. I teach NFP and our director has successfully avoided for 10 years now. She and her husband do not DTD until after O is confirmed.

[happysmileylady]

I used NFP to ttc for 6 years (unexplained secondary IF-used IVF to get pg) and reached a point where I could pinpoint ovulation like to the hour. I have TCOYF, been on their website, all over fertility friend etc etc. And all the resources that everyone has posted here are great. No reason to repeat any of them.

However, I did want to mention, this

The pill has never really regulated my period

kinda jumped out at me. Do you not have regular cycles off the pill? If you do not, that can make NFP more difficult for ttc OR tta. You can still do it, you just have to be sure you are tracking all the symptoms you can. When temping, the actual temps themselves are not going to show you when you are getting ready to ovulate, just when it's already happened. Temping and charting them can show you a pattern over time, making it easier to try to predict the right times to DTD. However, if you don't have regular cycles it can be tough to see that patter if there is one at all. Other symptoms such as cervical mucus, cervical positioning etc can be better indicators in that case because they do change as ovulation gets closer. So if you aren't regular, you should make sure to be diligent about tracking everything, not just temps, so that you have the best overall idea of when are the right or wrong times for each cycle.

[Shall1105]

Annie- sorry for your loss. It seems like most of the situations Ive read where NFP was successful the couple abstained (or used barrier methods) until the confirmed O.

Originally Posted by happysmileylady

However, I did want to mention, this kinda jumped out at me. Do you not have regular cycles off the pill?

I really have no idea which is sad. My mother put me on the shot when I was 15 and Ive been either on BC or pregnant since then. When Im on the pill I always start my period during the last week of pills (instead of after the last week of active pills, like you are supposed to) and Ive always had break through bleeding no matter what kind of pill or how long I was on it.

I actually saw an OB/GYN who is interested in helping me figure this situation out earlier this week. She said she believes I either have some kind of hormonal imbalance, or I ovulate unusually early or late in my cycle. So, maybe I will get some sort of answers soon!

[AnnieA]

I spotted a lot during almost every cycle while I was on BCP. I was on two different kinds and they both caused spotting. I was on the BCP for 5 years and I am so glad to be off of it! I will never use hormones again.

[Pirogi]

Originally Posted by Shall1105

Im going to look and see if there are any Catholic Churches in the area that offer Family Planning Classes. I live in a fairly large city Im sure there has to be something.

Im still pretty nervous about using it and having an oops. We want more children but not until we get a house. Plus my husband is getting out of the army next Spring and our future is a little uncertain right now. Im sure we will be fine but Id like to be a bit more stable first! We might be using condoms for awhile and DH will just have to deal.

Has anyone here successfully used NFP to avoid pregnancy for long periods of time?

This may have already been posted, but if you are looking for CCL instructors in your area, you can search at ccli.org. I am not catholic, but DH and I learned through CCL. This was in 2005, before they restructured their classes. It was kind of an interesting journey ... I had used hormonal contraceptive since I was 18, and I had been using the patch for about a year at the time. I saw one of those lawyer commercials (If YOU or someone YOU KNOW has been injured, contact blah blah blah), and I ripped that patch off before it even got to the "Consult your doctor" part. That was the beginning of a move toward natural family living for me, and it has been great.

We learned NFP and used the more restrictive coming-off-the-pill rules for three months, as recommended. Then we began using the "regular" rules, including intercourse in phase I (before ovulation) and the luteal phase. We never used the last dry day rule, instead using the clinical experience rules in phase I. I don't think we ever had intercourse past day 5 using these rules. We successfully avoided pregnancy for a little over a year. When we decided to TTC, we succeeded on the first try. After the birth of my DD, I combed through the book and pieced together rules for breastfeeding - I hear they have now improved their program WRT using NFP during breastfeeding. I began cycling again very early after my DD's birth, considering the mothering I was doing, around 3 months. We successfully avoided pregnancy for another 2 years, until we were ready to TTC again. We conceived on the second cycle this time.

A couple of things ... if you use condoms during your fertile time, then your method is only as good as the failure rate of the condoms. Not that there is anything wrong with doing this, just as long as you realize. The second is that my experience was that NFP allowed my body to "feel" the natural ebb and flow of my libido every cycle (as opposed to the pill, which quashed any sexual urge I might have), and it was REALLY hard to abstain during the fertile time. Especially when I was ready to TTC again, and DH wasn't. It actually caused a lot of stress in our marriage for several months. Still, I would never use any other method of child spacing.

Good luck!

[HulaJenn]

Originally Posted by Shall1105

Thanks for the advice ladies!

Ive been reading the lessons on Fertility Friend although I know that site is intended for people who are TTC not TTA.

Ive also been looking into the copper IUD (paraguard) but I had one in after my son and it had to be removed less than 6 months after it was placed b/c I was bleeding and cramping so badly. So, Im worried that the same thing would happen again and it would be a waste of time.

Im going to look and see if there are any Catholic Churches in the area that offer Family Planning Classes. I live in a fairly large city Im sure there has to be something.

Im still pretty nervous about using it and having an oops. We want more children but not until we get a house. Plus my husband is getting out of the army next Spring and our future is a little uncertain right now. Im sure we will be fine but Id like to be a bit more stable first! We might be using condoms for awhile and DH will just have to deal.

Has anyone here successfully used NFP to avoid pregnancy for long periods of time?

I use Fertility Friend to TTA. And have successfully done so for 18 months (and trust me, I am fertile! My first was a BCP accident, my 2nd was the first month TTC and my 3rd was our 3rd month ttc).
I too recommend the CTA thread, http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1249096
It gives more avoidance resources and a good group of ladies that can greatly explain the "rules" in more depth. There is great potential for user failure but if followed to a T, NFP can be almost as effective as BCP or condoms!
Good luck!

[ThreeCats]

I belong to another forum specifically for couples who use NFP or FAM (users of FAM can use barriers during fertile times, while NFP abstain). Many couples there have used one of those methods to avoid successfully for years - even with abnormal cycles - so it's definitely possible. We (my dh and I) started using FAM to TTC our son in fall 2008. We conceived on the first try, then avoided for 12 months after his birth. We were then able to conceive again on our first try this summer. I would consider us a "fertile" couple, and we have had no problems using FAM. The other great thing about charting is that it can help you and your doctor troubleshoot issues in your cycle.

I would definitely recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility - I seriously believe that it should be required reading for every woman of reproductive age. I prefer the software that goes along with it (OvuSoft) to Fertility Friend - it costs about $30 (one-time, not subscription), but it's definitely been money well spent for us.

[babyjelly]

In you OP, you asked if anyone had had a similar BCP experience...ME ME ME!!! I didn't have break through bleeding on the pill, but like you, I took it at the exact same time every single day...and I conceived no fewer than five times in six years. I lost four of those five babies. After ten years on the pill, with all the usual side effects and none of the supposed benefits, I had a stroke. No more hormones for me!
Anyway. I learned FAM from Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm not very good at avoiding...it's not that the method doesn't work, it's that I am not very good at actually abstaining or using a barrier (and doesn't it just figure tht the month DP and I ARE really good about it, one of those condoms breaks?! Due in Jan!). If you have it in you to be diligent about abstaining/barrier use, it's a great method, and six months should be more than enough time to get the hang of it.

[Smokering]

I've only been charting for 6 months, but we successfully avoided until now - using condoms rather than abstaining, but being pretty cautious about following the rules for confirmed ovulation. No "What the heck, once won't hurt" - remember, your BODY is always TTC, whether your mind is or not, so it doesn't count as birth control unless you actually follow the rules! We're TTC now, and I'm hoping to have one of those FAM "conceived on the first try" stories.

[mum4vr]

Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the very best I've seen. Fertility friend can be helpful, but I wuld still chart on paper at first-- you'll get to know your cycles better, and my inklings about my cycle were more accurate than FF when I charted on paper. Just my 2 cents.

The cycle symptoms you describe could be due to a short luteal phase, which is discussed very clearly in TCOYF-- since you were still Oing on the pill, your O would still dictate the length of luteal phase (sorry if this does not make sense now, but it really really will if you read that book!)

PM me if you want to hear about it more depth.

blessings

[mkat83]

I use fertilityfriend.com and I love it. I've used it ever since we started NFP, and I've used it to avoid pregnancy thus far. Its simple to use for avoiding pregnancy even though the site is geared to those TTC. I never used the paper charts. Just about everything I do in life is somehow electronic, so it seemed crazy to me to have to use paper charts.

Fertility friend also has really great online e-courses that introduce you to the basics of charting. However, its probably best to still attend an actual class.

Someone asked earlier about classes in the Louisville, KY area. The Archdiocese of Louisville has some classes, which is what we attended. They were okay, not great though. I had done quite a bit of study on my own, but even so, I did still learn some new things from the class. Fertility friend isn't going to teach you the "rules" for abstaining to avoid pregnancy, so you'll definitely have to learn that elsewhere.

CCL does have classes in the Louisville area, but I've not attended those. I've been interested in it, but we've been doing NFP for so long now that there seems to be no point. There is a hospital in Jasper, IN that has classes on the Creighton model as well. I've been interested in that, but never made the effort to attend.

I'll tell you now, the hardest part is abstaining from sex when you are in your peak fertile times!

[tea_time]

I also recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I've been either TTA or TTC for 35 cycles and that book has been very helpful for both phases! I use Fertility Friend and the Ovusoft software (not the free beta version) and I prefer the Ovusoft program by far. I only keep the FF one going so that I can access it online if I'm not near my home computer. Both of them have online communities as well, although I think you have to pay for the FF one.

If you have irregular cycles charting is a great resource to help pinpoint what your issues are. Whether it's long cycles, short luteal phase, anovulatory, etc.