I guess this is just a vent. My mother has been extremely supportive of my parenting choices up to this point and even defended me when MIL got after me for getting into the habit of nursing DS to sleep. But she is concerned about me because I have been sleep deprived since DS was born and I am now in therapy for suspected PPD (although the psychologist thinks my symptoms may just be related to sleep deprivation). I'm also failing miserably at getting any housework or food preparation done during the day because DS is not good at napping and can't be put down for very long. But I was never good at housework or cooking before DS came along either.
So today my mother was lecturing me on how I need to put him down more so I can get things done and I told her that I do put him down and do a little bit at a time until he needs to be picked up again. Then she asked if he sleeps in his crib now, and I said, "Yes, he is getting much better at sleeping in his crib! He usually naps there and starts out the night there." Of course, today he would not nap in his crib. He kept falling asleep elsewhere (usually on my lap) and screaming when I tried to put him down. But then she said that for my own health and sanity, I need to teach him to always sleep in his crib. I laughed it off at first but she went on to explain that (although she previously told me that she did not support crying it out) he would learn to sleep in his crib if he had no other options. That is to say that once he is fed and changed for the night, if I left him instead of taking him into my bed when he started to cry, he would eventually get exhausted and go to sleep.
Later this evening, my father explained to me that while it is cruel to ignore the baby when he wakes up hungry in the night, once he is comforted and fed, he needs to learn that it is time to sleep. By leaving him alone in his crib and closing the door, he will eventually realize that there is no point in crying because no one will come so he will give up and go to sleep. I said something about damaging the parent-child relationship and he just laughed and said, "Yeah, you and your brothers are really damaged." He repeated that it is not cruel to do this as long as the baby is fed. This conversation infuriated me and I didn't say anything for the rest of the visit, not only because of the unsolicited advice, but also because my mother had previously told me that she never let us CIO as babies, but I learned otherwise today. However, my father said that I never really did cry like my brothers did.
I just sent them both a bunch of links on why CIO is potentially harmful, but I am reading through them again, just for reassurance. I feel like everybody I had for support is turning against me on this issue. First my friends, who swore that they would never use the CIO method and then did; then the public health nurses, whom I trusted on baby-related matters; then my doctor, whom I did not really trust but didn't expect a lecture from; and now my parents. Of course MIL and FIL have been pushing CIO since the beginning, so I never did count on them.
So today my mother was lecturing me on how I need to put him down more so I can get things done and I told her that I do put him down and do a little bit at a time until he needs to be picked up again. Then she asked if he sleeps in his crib now, and I said, "Yes, he is getting much better at sleeping in his crib! He usually naps there and starts out the night there." Of course, today he would not nap in his crib. He kept falling asleep elsewhere (usually on my lap) and screaming when I tried to put him down. But then she said that for my own health and sanity, I need to teach him to always sleep in his crib. I laughed it off at first but she went on to explain that (although she previously told me that she did not support crying it out) he would learn to sleep in his crib if he had no other options. That is to say that once he is fed and changed for the night, if I left him instead of taking him into my bed when he started to cry, he would eventually get exhausted and go to sleep.
Later this evening, my father explained to me that while it is cruel to ignore the baby when he wakes up hungry in the night, once he is comforted and fed, he needs to learn that it is time to sleep. By leaving him alone in his crib and closing the door, he will eventually realize that there is no point in crying because no one will come so he will give up and go to sleep. I said something about damaging the parent-child relationship and he just laughed and said, "Yeah, you and your brothers are really damaged." He repeated that it is not cruel to do this as long as the baby is fed. This conversation infuriated me and I didn't say anything for the rest of the visit, not only because of the unsolicited advice, but also because my mother had previously told me that she never let us CIO as babies, but I learned otherwise today. However, my father said that I never really did cry like my brothers did.
I just sent them both a bunch of links on why CIO is potentially harmful, but I am reading through them again, just for reassurance. I feel like everybody I had for support is turning against me on this issue. First my friends, who swore that they would never use the CIO method and then did; then the public health nurses, whom I trusted on baby-related matters; then my doctor, whom I did not really trust but didn't expect a lecture from; and now my parents. Of course MIL and FIL have been pushing CIO since the beginning, so I never did count on them.
