Pick Up and Drop Off Routine

[cakemama579]

Hello All,

I was wondering if anyone else's Montessori school has a pick up/ drop off routine in which parents pull up into a line and have the Directress or Assistant take your child out of the carseat? We are new at this-- DS is 2.5 and going into a 5 morning a week primary class.

I really want to be able to give him a hug goodbye but they tell us not to get out of the car?!? Is this typical, and if so, how did you all cope with this? I'm picturing myself being that mom that peeks in through the window with tears streaming down her face, trying to get one last glimpse of her kid before going to work for the day. yikes. I also don't think it will go over big with DS. In fact, I can see him totally freaking out about it.

[lach]

This is what we will have this year, and I have to say that I'm looking forward to it. Last year, she went to a school where I had to walk her in, and I'll admit that it was fairly annoying, particularly since I had her younger brother too. Getting them both out of the carseats and into their coats for the 30 second walk in and the 30 second walk back was really annoying. This year I'll have TWO younger kids in the car, so I think it would go beyond annoying and into nightmare territory!

(I even totally embarrassed myself on the tour for this new school, when the head asked if there were any other questions and that was obviously when I was supposed to ask something about childhood development or the care and keeping of my precious child, I asked immediately "do I have to walk her in in the morning, or can we drop off at the door?" They probably just accepted her because they felt sorry about her awful neglectful mother who doesn't even want to walk her into school in the morning...)

So that's just my perspective. But IME preschools that do the dropoff routine (most around here are like that) do it solely because don't have parking for all of the parents to park. I also thought it was always really unsafe at her school last year because toddlers would be tearing through the parking lot, running ahead of their parents, while people were pulling in and out. There weren't enough spaces there, either, so cars would have to block eachother in and it was very annoying to have to sit there and wait for them to come out, strap their kid(s) in, and pull away... and sometimes, by then, the car blocking you in was being blocked in by yet another car! The car line system is really much more orderly, even if it is pretty slow if you're late in the line.

I would imagine that at the beginning of the school year, the school is fine with having parents walk students in, particularly new students. I would actually be a little concerned if the school didn't allow this. And I definitely understand why it is sort of panic-inducing to just drop your 2 year old off at the door and speed off. I was just trying to give some practical reasons why I, for one, am sort of looking forward to it this year!

[ollyoxenfree]

It sounds like the school has a car line system for drop offs. Schools have car lines so that there is a safe, efficient method for children to get into the school. A car line prevents the traffic back-ups and double-parking madness that create hazards for children around schools at busy pick-up and drop-off times.

You can't get out of the car and give the child a hug good-bye if you are in the car line. Imagine how long it would take if every.single.car pulled up, put the parking brake on, the driver gets out, helps the child out of the car seat, has a brief chat with the greeting teacher, hugs the child, reassures the child a little, hugs the child again, then goes back around and gets into the car, readjusts the seat and the mirrors, maybe checks on the other children in the car, before finally pulling away....

It isn't fair to all the other families who are waiting in the car line behind you.

My dc attended 3 different Montessori schools due to moving to new cities. If you opted to park nearby or if you lived in the neighbourhood and walked, then the routine would be handover the child to the greeting directress or assistant, who would shake the child's hand and escort them into the school. If, however, the parent wanted to enter the school with the child, that was fine.

Check with the school. It's likely that you are more than welcome to walk your child in and give them all the hugs you want, as long as you have parked safely out of the way of the other school traffic.

[bluebunny]

My children's Montessori has a car line. Like another poster suggested, there are many great reasons for car lines (pick-up and drop-off), including child safety, lack of parking for all parents, efficiency, etc. Their school highly encourages going through the car line but they will allow you to come in to drop off your child or walk in to pick them up. The first year my son was there, he wanted my DH to walk him in every morning. As he got more accustomed to the routine, he decided he was okay with being dropped off in the car line. The director was fine either way but she did encourage the car line.

[2cutiekitties]

I just went through this. This was a major factor in which preschool I chose. I really, really wanted to walk in to drop him off and pick him up. The carpool thing was to daycarish for me. Luckily the best preschool in town offered what I wanted.

I love it. Nothing beats the excitement that he has when he sees me or the kiss I give him when I drop him off. I love seeing all his little friends and seeing the notes the teachers put out about their day. Seeing all the other parents being able to see the teacher for a quick hello or goodbye is nice. The director waits by the door in the morning and the asst director waits by the door in the afternoon and you really have access to everyone. But you can't conference with the teachers. This school offers carpool drop-off but they dont offer pick-up, they really encourage the interactions. It only takes 3 mins to park my car, get him and drive off, it moves fast. In the morning no one is even using the drop-off, everyone loves walking in.

Now the preschool that we almost went with but didnt, didnt allow your kid to be walked in period. I dont know what you would do it you walked your kids to school, but whatever. They said their insurance preferred it that way, but I also heard the teachers didnt want the interactions. Also, I interviewed 10 schools and no else had a problem with walk ins.

I say walk your kid in no matter what everyone else does.

[Drummer's Wife]

The 6-9 yr olds have a drop-off/pick-up line (my older 3 kids ride the bus). For the 3-6 they want you to park and then say your goodbyes at the gate which leads to the little playground. So, no, we don't have teachers taking them out of car seats, but we also aren't encouraged to walk them into the classroom. They are playing outside until the bell rings, anyway.

[elsie123]

Almost every school I've worked in has had a car line. It is a convenience for parents, and I've never seen a school with a rule that you HAVE to use the car line drop off system.

It is a safety issue at the school we are at now, due to lack of parking. Most parents are rushing off to work and are thrilled to have this as a service, but several parents park further afield and walk in, no problem.

If I were you, I'd just walk in, just making sure you are not blocking the car line when you choose a parking space.

[kittykat2481]

I could have written your post last year. I can say that we walked him in for a week or two, and he cried every day. I finally gave in and tried the drop off lane, and it went so much better! To this day he will sort of fuss and want me to stay if I walk him in, but if I just drive up to the door and drop him off, he waves goodbye and skips off to class! Go figure.

[blessedwithboys]

ds2 and i do something we call a "hand hug" on the mornings we forget to hug for real before leaving the house. i just reach back and grab his hand and we sqeeze each other for a second before he gets out of the car. i love this little ritual, bc it is unique to ds2 and me. ds1 and i just never thought of it i guess...

[2cutiekitties]

Originally Posted by elsie123

Almost every school I've worked in has had a car line. It is a convenience for parents, and I've never seen a school with a rule that you HAVE to use the car line drop off system.
It is a safety issue at the school we are at now, due to lack of parking. Most parents are rushing off to work and are thrilled to have this as a service, but several parents park further afield and walk in, no problem.

If I were you, I'd just walk in, just making sure you are not blocking the car line when you choose a parking space.

for me that was a Catholic preschool, they also didnt accept vax exemptions. They were the only preschool out of 10 that had the rule and were vax unfriendly. whatever, their loss.

[kittykat2481]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

ds2 and i do something we call a "hand hug" on the mornings we forget to hug for real before leaving the house. i just reach back and grab his hand and we sqeeze each other for a second before he gets out of the car. i love this little ritual, bc it is unique to ds2 and me. ds1 and i just never thought of it i guess...

I love this. It reminds me of DS's "tree tunnel" for some reason, which is just any area where the trees grow together over the street to make a tunnel. I love that it's something special to him/us.

[ChristyMarie]

If you want walk in just park out of the way - don't stop IN the car line. Ditto with pick up.

I will say though, DS handled the separation much better when we did the car line. Walking him in was just prolonging it.

We hug at home before we leave.

And um, you don't even have to get dressed if you don't wanna.

[northcountrymamma]

Our school has this, it's called "kiss and ride" but you don't have to use it, and you can get out to hug them goodbye if you like.

We don't use it unless dd and I are running super late and we agree upon it in the car. She's 6.5 and not comfortable with the idea yet...I don't think I blame her, she likes that I get to come in and help her get organized for the day. Our mornings are too chaotic at home and this gives us a moment of peace before we part ways. But she is a super attached only child. SO that may be just us.

[cakemama579]

Thanks all for your advice.

We had our parent orientation on Tuesday, and the school insisted that the "kiss and ride" was the best way to avoid separation anxiety- I guess they have some experience with kids gripping on to their mamas for dear life in the morning.

I think I'm going to try it their way for now, and see if maybe DS gets used to it quicker than if there was a dramatic drop off at the classroom door. Idk, the directress seemed really, really confident that this method was the best way.

I think I'm just a nervous nelly, and will have to brace myself regardless for tears (mine and maybe DS's too. They assured me that they get the kids right into the classroom and busy to distract them.

They also said the transition time between getting used to the new routine is about 2 weeks. Has that been everyone else's experience too? I should post this in a new thread maybe.

[GuildJenn]

One other suggestion - make a hug/kiss/etc. routine BEFORE you get in the car, and then learn the ASL sign for "I love you" and do that as your child gets out. There's no reason the hug has to come last.

[Aliyahsmommy]

I was so scared about the drop off and pick up routine, I pictured driving off while they dragged/carried my crying baby inside the school. I had heard my school did not like parents walking their child in.
One week in school down and I am pleasantly surprised. The school definitely encourages the drop off/pick up line but allows parents to walk their child to the front door. Once at the front door despite how they got there, the principal or teacher takes the child's hand and leads them to their class. It is actually quite sweet. I walked my daughter in the first day and have used the line ever since. We unbuckle once in the line and I still get my hug and kiss before she gets out, though it is a very quick one. She still gets to tell me all about her day once in the car. I now definitely see the benefits during the winter time and am quite glad that I won't have to drag my other kids out in the yucky weather to get my daughter.

[cakemama579]

Update:

We just finished our first week. DS's school is very strict about the car line policy, and only allows you to walk in with your child if you drop off late or pick up early. So, we've given it the old freshman try, and I think it is genious! Sure, we've had plenty of tears, especially leaving the house and when we just pull up to school, but by the time the teacher has DS out of the car he has mostly calmed down. His school goes up to upper elementary, so the school has the 6th graders walk the little kids to class. DS loves this!

And I have to say, the car line operates in an incredibly organized way. I had envisioned kids running around everywhere and had a recurring nightmare that DS was going to get lost in the shuffle, but they handle each child one at a time, and I have immediate trust in them.-- a whole week and they haven't lost him so far! lol.

Now, just to get used to the whole school thing... that might take a few more weeks. One day at a time...

Thanks all for the advice.